June 19, 2005

Father's day Bahumbug!

It’s father’s day for many people out there. I however am not one of them. I hate this holiday. I think it’s a stupid and insulting holiday. I have since I was a teenager and continue through to this day. I feel the same way about Mother’s day, Valentines Day, Sweetest day and birthdays. I’m sure someone is not happy with that statement, others are curious as to why. For both cases I will explain to everyone.

Is any father any more or less special today then any other day? How about mother’s on Mother’s day? Shouldn’t you shower you Wife, Husband, Girlfriend or Boyfriend with love and gifts all through out the year, not just on the days some body set aside for you to do it? Should you only recognize the effect of someone special to you on their birthday?

My father is special to me all year around. I appreciate him and everything he does for me all year. Through out the year I show him that I love and appreciate him. Now because of the day, I had to go out of my way to buy him gift on top of the others that I give him all year round. This gift has no meaning to me; I have no heart behind it because I’m forced into getting it for him. Therefore, I really don’t put much thought behind it. This day means something to my father, so I observe it for him.

In fact I observe Father’s day, Mother’s day, Valentines Day and birthdays for my loved ones. Even my wife hates sweetest day so neither of us observe that day. Those days mean something important to them, where as I am insulted by them. I buy them gifts and fake it. They all know how I feel about it and appreciate that I’m at least making an observation on it. That is not a two-way streak however. A lot of my family and friends refuse to accept my non-observance of these days.

My mother is currently mad at me due to a conversation we had on Friday. She asked me if my wife and boys where doing anything special for me on Father’s day. I reminded her that we don’t celebrate father’s day at all in my house and went on to explain my feelings about it again. My mother responds with, “Well it teaches the boys to be adults.” To which I respond with, “How, by having mommy buy them something to give to dad? I’m an adult, you didn’t buy Dad’s gift for me.”

Then my mother used the argument she always does, “This isn’t for you, it’s for them.” She uses this argument on me for birthdays and holidays whenever gift giving is involved. This year however I had enough, I responded with, “Wait, so you’re saying them giving me a gift is for them. However when I don’t want to give a gift, you tell me it isn’t for me, it’s for the recipient. When in the hell is it actually about me? I don’t like Father’s day, Mother’s day, Valentines Day and Birthdays. Yet I have to suffer through receiving gifts. I also have to suffer through giving gifts that I don’t mean. I know you would be mad if I didn’t give you a gift for your birthday or mother’s day. I lose out there, and you’re mad because I don’t want to get a gift for father’s day and my birthday. Well I thought these day’s were about getting the person what they want, and I want nothing.” To say she didn’t like that response would be an understatement. She could not argue with it. She still doesn’t understand my reasoning.

My wife likes the fact that I feel that way about these days. She still gets her gifts and she doesn’t have to spend any time and money getting me something. It makes life easier on the family. Plus we can then spend money on stuff we would rather have… like a babysitter.

So if you are a Father out there and don’t get a “Happy Father’s day” from me, don’t think that I don’t feel that you are special for being a dad. That would be wrong, it’s the exact opposite. I think Father’s are special every day of the year and deserve to be shown it year round. However if you are a bad father, you don’t deserve any recognition anyway.

Now I’m going to go clean the garage out and do some housework.

Posted by Contagion in Family Life at June 19, 2005 02:09 PM


Posted by: Karen at June 19, 2005 05:20 PM

well, Happy Father's Day anyway. Pbbbbt! (as Opus used to say)

Posted by: caltechgirl at June 19, 2005 07:55 PM

Mother's Day and Father's Day... non-gift giving holidays in my home. HOWEVER, I do like to get something for my folks.

Posted by: Bou at June 19, 2005 09:30 PM

*leaving a beer on your doorstep and tip toeing away*

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at June 19, 2005 11:09 PM

At least I don't have to worry about getting any crappy hand-painted fish-ties from you :-)

Anyway, I'm with you. I prefer my gift-giving to be spontaneous.

On the other hand, I can understand how some people might enjoy having an "excuse" to demonstrate their affections.

I don't agree, but I understand.

Posted by: Harvey at June 20, 2005 08:01 AM

Yeah, we don't do the "Days" or Birthdays. We observe our anniversary quietly and usually partake in the gift-giving of christmas, but the rest of the "Days" are just days to us. However, I do get gifts for the moms on mother's day, they feel all left out otherwise, and Yesterday I bought my daddy lunch. Of course, I buy my daddy lunch every sunday, so that doesn't count either :)

Posted by: Oddybobo at June 20, 2005 08:54 AM