June 23, 2005

Top Ten Reasons My Mentoree's hate me.

I am still in Chicago. However I was sharing with one of my Mentorees about the wonders of the blogosphere. After she got done pointing, laughing at me and calling me a "Big Nerd". I thought I would show her how it works.

Her idea was for a top ten reasons my mentoree's hate me. So here we go.

10. I don't have the common courtesy to advise them I will be in town. I just show up, smile and say, "I'm here!"

9. I force them to alter their lunch schedules so I don't have to eat in the corporate cafeteria alone.

8. I sneak up and scare them when they are working. (This is accidental, I do not actually try to scare anyone, scar (mentally) yes, scare no!)

7. My presence makes them feel like they were sent to the princepal's office.

6. Since I know no one else here, they field the brunt of my jokes. (Which includes disabling their mouse and hooking up a cordless one that I control. More on this later)

5. They feel the need to be in the office by 7 AM and stay to 6 pm just to make sure they can get all their work done, AND talk with me.

4. They don't get a corporate paid trip to a luxury hotel for three nights with meals included.

3. They are afraid that if I get displeased, I will toss them out of a window 22 stories up. Which is completely untrue... Because then I would have to start the mentoring process over with a new person!

2. I wont shut up about re-enacting and blogging.

and the number one reasons my Mentoree's hate me:

1. I use my briefcase as a cudgel to knock them out of the way so I can use their desks/phones/terminals to check my e-mail, figure out the inventory, contact my office and blog while on lunch or after I'm off the clock.

There you have it folks. Just a little mid-trip update.

BTW I have some blog fodder stories that are either going to make you laugh or ask why the hell you associate with me.

Posted by Contagion in Tales from the Work Place at June 23, 2005 04:48 PM

You are something else. Will do anything to get out of making some cookies, won't you? And now you are scaring your mentoree. GRIN.

Posted by: vw bug at June 23, 2005 08:24 PM

The mouse thing sounds rich.

Looking forward to that one :)

Posted by: Graumagus at June 23, 2005 08:38 PM

I *already* ask why the hell I associate with you.

You're a scary, scary man :-)

Posted by: Harvey at June 24, 2005 02:09 AM

Ah yes...the life of a corporate consultant. Nothing is better. A couple of months ago I began something similar for American call centers.

I need to make a note of the cordless mouse concept...people are wondering why I'm giggling at my laptop right now.

Posted by: Kiana at June 25, 2005 09:56 AM

They are probably anxiously awaiting your departure!

But at least they know you have a sense of humor. Even though your only goal is to make sure YOU laugh at whatever expense :-)

Posted by: Sissy at June 25, 2005 09:05 PM

I'm thinking 'wondering why we associate'! ;-)

Posted by: Bou at June 25, 2005 09:09 PM

Hurry back...I miss ya!

Posted by: vw bug at June 27, 2005 11:00 AM