October 10, 2005

I'll show you sensitive!

Last Friday I had to attend what they called “Leadership camp”. People, I don’t care how you try to sugar coat it, but sensitivity class is sensitivity class. Trust me, I’ve been sent to two actual sensitivity classes in the last 4 years. Sure, this had a different structure and some new material, but there were many of the same principles behind it. This time I actually had fun, then again I made it fun; not just for me, but for the other people. In doing so, I did learn some new things. As soon as I walked in, I knew this was going to be interesting. Out of the 37 people in the class, I was the only male. So let me share with you what I took from this sensitivity class.

*Do not show up 30 minutes late and say, “I thought this started at 8:30… Eh the extra 30 minutes of sleep were worth it.”

*I work for a company that definitely does not hire based on looks. I’m not vein in any sense, in fact, I think I’m pretty much a hideous man-beast, but I was the best looking person in that class.

*After taking the personality test the instructors do not like when you enthusiastically shout out that you scored “perfect” for the “Dominant” personality. (Out of 20 possible points for the dominant personality, I scored 20. The instructor said that the highest he had seen before that day was 16 and he’d been doing this for 10 years.)

*They like it even less when you tell the lesser beings in the class to bow down in awe.

*When you are placed in a workgroup filled with submissive personalities… you get exactly what you want.

*During the part of the class in which you are to come up with ways for your “personality profile” to work with other “personality profiles”, if you are dominant the correct answer is not, “Pretend you care about them”. (Even if it is true. There were two other Dominant personalities in my class, not as dominant as I am, but we all felt that way. However, I actually said it out loud.)

*When they say you are going to do some role-playing, do not shout out, “I want to be the wizard” OR “Can I be the policeman?” (Especially the second one… Thank jebus someone besides me has a sense of humor!)

*In the middle of the roll playing session if you don’t want to do it anymore, just shout out, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M DEFENSIVE?!?!?!?!?!”

*If you are put into a group that has no creative or artistic ability and you are supposed to do something creative and artistic; the best thing to do is stand up and announce to the entire class after your presentation, “As you can see our group has neither creative nor artistic ability. If we could pay you back the 10 minutes of your life lost listening to us babble we would.” We had best presentation!

*If you are a dominant personality and placed with a group of creative and submissive personalities, you can sit back and let them do all the work and give you the credit.

*One does not have to like or dislike a person to scare them.

*Being the only guy with 36 females can be fun.

*Being the only guy with 36 females in a sensitivity class can be dangerous.

*Being the only guy with 36 females with an average weight of 250 lbs in a sensitivity class can be hazardous to your health, if you know what I mean… And I’m sure a lot of you do.

*After establishing that you have a “dominant” personality, it is not a good idea to point out that you are the highest level management in class and you should be able to do what you want, even if that includes taking a nap in your truck.

*DO NOT LAUGH DURING THE LANCE ARMSTRONG FIGHTS CANCER MOTIVATIONAL VIDEO! Nothing you say or do will fix the damage that you have caused. (I was thinking of an incident that happened earlier in the day and not paying attention. I started chuckling when they where talking about how he almost died from cancer)

*Finally, if you have to go to one of these things try at least to have fun with it, even if that means dragging the rest of the class down with you.

Posted by Contagion in Tales from the Work Place at October 10, 2005 12:54 PM | TrackBack

Oh my... ROFL - I would've loved to have been there. How incredibly fun. I could've made them all kiss my ring and then said "off with their heads" at which point I'm sure I would have been thrown out of class.

Posted by: Teresa at October 10, 2005 01:26 PM

Heheh... sounds like you had a good time. Even though you weren't...

Posted by: That 1 Guy at October 10, 2005 01:49 PM

I'm jealous I missed the entertainment. I bet you would get a failing grade...except they don't want to hurt your feelings, so I'm sure they won't give you one...

Now if you started with:
"When you are placed in a workgroup filled with submissive personalities… you get exactly what you want"

And then added:
"Out of the 37 people in the class, I was the only male."

It sounded like a lot of fun...until:
"I’m pretty much a hideous man-beast, but I was the best looking person in that class. "


Posted by: Ogre at October 10, 2005 02:24 PM

NEver had to but if I do I'm taking you along so I can have some fun.

Posted by: Rachel Ann at October 10, 2005 03:48 PM

I would have had so much fun with you in one my classes. You would certainly have made my day. They didn't like my sense of humor either.

Posted by: VW Bug at October 10, 2005 04:13 PM

do you have any clue as to what sort of searches you are going to get hit with this week? Dominant, submissive, best looking male.....

yyou are in for it, please notify us of the searches as they happen....

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at October 10, 2005 04:42 PM

LOL! I wish I could have had you in one of my classes. I'd have had a great time laughing AT you.

Yeah, I don't do role playing. I HATE that crap. And I hate all that touchy feely stuff too.

Luckily, I worked for an engineering company. Most of us hated that crap. It made it easier.

Posted by: Bou at October 10, 2005 09:50 PM

I'd offer to hire myself out to go with people to their sensitivity classes... but I don't think people would want to pay the amount I would ask just for their entertainment.

I have a follow up to this post coming. Apparently there is some backlash to my actions.

Posted by: Contagion at October 11, 2005 07:28 AM

I have not done sensitivity class, but I had a sexual discrimination class wherein we all told dirty jokes (men and women) and made snide sexual comments to one another for examples, the instructor left in tears because she couldn't get us "adults" to settle down. hahahaha!

Posted by: oddybobo at October 11, 2005 07:40 AM

ROFL!!! Oh, man - wish there was a video - it would be priceless!!!!

Posted by: Barb at October 11, 2005 11:52 AM

Wait... the Lance Armstrong cancer video isn't supposed to be funny?

Posted by: Graumagus at October 16, 2005 09:11 AM