January 06, 2007

Door-to-door revenge.

There are some things that are just annoying. One of the things that really pisses me off is when I actually get a Saturday morning to sleep in and itís interrupted. Iíll be laying in bed dreaming one of those really cool dreams you hope for when Iím jarred awake by a pounding on my front door. Looking at the clock, you see itís 8:00 AM. When you answer the door, itís some door-to-door bible pusher trying to force their religion on you. You know who Iím talking about, the Jehovahís witnesses or the Mormons. Iíd like to say that Iím usually nice and polite to them when I tell them to bugger off, but Iím not. A couple of times firearms aided in the insistence that they leave my property.

Well one guy got pushed too far. He decided to do something about it

11/21/2006 - Australian filmmaker John Safran is so fed up with mormons ringing his doorbell early in the morning that he flies to Salt Lake City Utah and tries to convert Mormons to atheism. Needless to say, the locals were not pleased.

I love how the one guy says ďThis is inappropriate, take us off your list.Ē

Posted by Contagion in General assholery at January 6, 2007 10:34 AM | TrackBack

You are doing this the hard way. Just keep a beer can by the door, empty is fine as it is just a prop. When the unexpected knock comes, go to the door in your underwear, pick up that beer can.

Now, open the door and, with your free hand, scratch like a baseball player, smile real big and invite them in for a beer. They'll leave. The word will go out.

This will work even faster if you have a bit of warning and can pull on a set of your wife's underwear. Although you will probably want to make sure that it isn't a visiting blogger.

Posted by: Peter at January 6, 2007 12:06 PM

That's pretty gott damned funny...

Posted by: That 1 Guy at January 6, 2007 10:31 PM

No they won't leave. The assholes that used to canvass my area when I was a kid would praise the lord for such an opportunity.

I answered the door while cleaning a shotgun more than once and they still came back.

Until we started tying my 85lb Chow-Chow Shadow outside :)

Posted by: Graumagus at January 7, 2007 11:18 AM

The same thing happened to me a few weeks ago. Doorbell rings, I roll over and politely ignored them...30 seconds later it rings again. This time I get up and the first words out of my mouth when I answer the door were, "Jesus-f**king christ, what the hell do you want?"

They begain to ramble, I just stared in des-belief.

Once my eyes adjusted to the sunlight (damn daylight savings) I said was "unless you have something alcoholic for me to drink, so I can put a damper on this hangover than this conversation is over." I gave them about half of a second to answer before I slammed the door.

I do not think they will be back anytime soon. ;-)

Posted by: Jabbah at January 7, 2007 02:17 PM

Worst thing I ever did when I was youngerish ...

Parents gone for the weekend, went out partying, came home late, 7am those asswipes ring the bell insistently ... I am answer ... they ask if I believed in God ... I said no f**king way and slammed the door ... they came back every saturday for 4 weeks trying to save me ...

Posted by: Quality Weenie at January 7, 2007 03:32 PM

See, it's these obnoxious evangelical atheists that give us non-believers a bad name :-)

Posted by: Harvey at January 8, 2007 09:33 PM

My rule of thumb is that if you're knocking on my door at 8am you had best have beer or a warrant...

Posted by: Graumagus at January 9, 2007 12:44 AM