March 06, 2007

At least I won't have Malaria

November, 2005 I came clean about an addiction I had. Itís been over a year and Iím still hooked, just not as bad. Iíve gone a whole day with out a Listerine Breath Strip. But there was another unhealthy obsession that I should have come clean with you all about years ago.

Folks, I have an obsession with energy drinks. For about two years now when ever I find an energy drink that Iíve never had before, I canít help but to buy one to try. Of course I only get the sugar free onesÖ I donít want to get too hyper on the sugar. Hey, donít look at me like that. It makes sense in my world.

Anyway I was at the gas station yesterday. I refuse to pay at the pump, that way I can go inside and see if they have any energy drinks Iíve never had. There in a display was an energy drink I had never seen before, Howling Monkey Energizing Elixir. I quickly bought a can and went to work. As I sat at my desk I read the label a little more carefully. Below the name it said ďMulti-vitamins, pure caffeine and QuinineĒ.

As I sat at my desk I started thinking, ďQuinine, that is awfully familiar. How do I know Quinine. Why is there something about it that is sending off little warnings in my head.Ē Then I opened the can and took a drink of one of the most vile concoctions on the face of the earth. This elixir wasnít fit for, well monkeys. In fact I now know why they where howling. If I had to drink enough of this, Iíd howl too.

As I was choking down swallowing the first swig of this swill it struck me; Quinine was used to treat Malaria and muscle cramps. Itís also very, very bitter. Which, helps explain the god awful taste. I spent most of the morning pondering why in the hell anyone would add Quinine to an energy drink. I mean, Malaria isnít really a problem in the US anymoreÖ then again I donít think that drinking it in an energy drink would cure me if I did have it. Next, the muscle crampsÖ There are many better things one can get for muscle cramps. Trust me on this one folks. And the stuff is so bitter I canít imagine anyone using it in a drink for the sole purpose of flavoring.

The can doesnít say how much Quinine is in this drink, but Iím assuming itís a safe level. I donít think they would risk a bunch of people overdosing on their energy drinks. I will say though that I did have some interesting side effects yesterday.

Do you think I have anything to worry about if I try their cola version?

Posted by Contagion in Stories about me. at March 6, 2007 05:01 PM | TrackBack

I'd go with the Vault Energy Drink.

For obvious reasons.

Posted by: jimmyb at March 6, 2007 06:32 PM

Try this link:

Vault Scarecrow

Posted by: jimmyb at March 6, 2007 06:37 PM