April 05, 2007

Putting the moves on the Ex.

Our first question for Contagion Therapy comes from a long time commenter who wishes to remain anonymous.

Contagion, There is a girl Iíve been interested in since High School. We never dated in High School, but we had a lot of mutual friends and did hang out a lot. We both were seeing different people so we never got together. Right after graduation she had broken up with her boyfriend and admitted she had feelings for me. We had a summer fling before I left for college out of state. During my first semester my father received a promotion and the family moved to a different city. I kept in contact with ďLizĒ, but we never really saw each other while I was in college. We both decided to move on, but stay friends. She started dating one of my good friends from High School Mike and they got married during my senior year, I was a part of the wedding party. Mike knew that Liz and I had been together.

After college I took a prestigious internship in the city I grew up, and have stayed there since. Lizís husband ďMikeĒ and I are still good friends and hung out all the time. Unfortunately my feelings for Liz never faded. Things between Mike and Liz went sour and they decided to get divorced. They are still civil with each other, but you can see the tension there. Their divorce was 4 years ago. Liz hasnít been dating anyone, and Iíve only been in minor relationships over the last couple of years. In a conversation we had a couple of weeks ago Liz admitted she still had feelings for me and wanted to get back together.

Would it be wrong for me to start seeing Liz since Mike and I are still good friends? ĖLong Time Reader.

First Iím going to start by saying that Iím only responding to this letter because itís the only one I received. Iím starting to feel that none of you feel confident in my ability to help you with your problems. I see how you all are.

Secondly, LTR let me say that you really did not give me enough information here to truly help you. The first thing I need to know is if Liz is a hottie. Obviously you think she has the right stuff, but Iím curious what your other friends think of her. Since, I donít know for sure Iím going to assume sheís at least above average and has either a decent rack or an arse you can bounce quarters off of. With that being said, lets begin.

LTR, since technically your buddy Mike made the moves, and scored, with a girl you had already dating, he violated the guy code regarding recycling friends girlfriends. Therefore Liz is fair game. Even if he asked you permission and you gave it, she was your girl first. Once the divorce was finalized and the minimum 2-year waiting period was met, Liz was again free game according to man laws and the guy code. Even if you didnít wait the permitted waiting period special compensation could be made because you dated her first, there for your are not starting a new relationship, you are rekindling an old one.

Good luckÖ oh and send pictures.

If you need help with a problem or need some advice donít be shy, let Contagion help you out. Leave a comment or send me an e-mail.

Posted by Contagion in Contagion Therapy at April 5, 2007 06:20 PM | TrackBack

There's a two year waiting period?

Posted by: Ktreva at April 5, 2007 07:04 PM

hmmm... my email must have gotten lost in the world of bits... try try again.

Posted by: vw bug at April 6, 2007 01:21 PM

2 years?

I could've sworn it was only one.

Guess I've been out of the dating scene too long.

Posted by: Harvey at April 9, 2007 04:27 AM

IT's one if they only dated, two years if they were married. The waiting period is shortened by the level of hotness of the girl in question as well. The length is also somewhat dictated how good of friends you were.

Posted by: Contagion at April 9, 2007 06:10 PM

Posts like this make me wish I had fixed Julie's blog. I detailed my similar experience with her.
Summary: Date her. If the guy is decent he'll understand. If not, bummer for him.

Posted by: _Jon at April 10, 2007 09:35 AM