July 24, 2007

For whom the bell tolls.

Do you hear something? It is the sound of a low, lamenting, tolling bell alerting people of a mournful event. For whom does the bell toll? That would be me of course. Now donít worry my good readers, this is nothing I wonít survive. Iíve been down this path many times before. Sometimes just for a partial day, usually for a day and a half. This time it is a 2.5 day long journey.

For today I head to sensitivity classÖ again. (BONG!) There is a difference from this time to all the others. The class Iím going to is an ďintensive two and a half day course designed to help those special cases where other classes failed.Ē Let me translate that: This is for your really difficult people that have scoffed off all of our previous attempts at brainwashing them to believing that the entire world should be PC. (BONG!) ďWe have specially trained instructors to help educate and enlighten the students to the emotions and perceptions of those they interact.Ē Translation: We have highly skilled brainwashers that can reprogram your people to pussyfoot around others. (BONG!) ďSessions include: Being more sensitive to your staff. Acknowledging otherís feelings in the work place. Difficult employee or an opportunity for personal growth. Helping you to help others. My employees, my friends.Ē Translation: Sessions include: Donít make your staff cry. No matter what you do, donít upset the staff. Youíre employee is a pain in the arse, but you need to ignore it. Why you suck. Letís join hands and sing Kum By Yah. (BONG!)

But on the bright side Iím going to be able to eat on the company dollar at some of my favorite restaurants in Chicago. On Wednesday night if any of you want to meet me in Chicago for dinner that would be great. I'll be at Fodo's at 100 W. Grand. Since Iím going to be away from a computer youíll have to either call me if you have my number or contact Ktreva and sheíll get your information to me. If you canít or donít want to, thatís fine. But do me a favor; just keep me in your thoughts for the next 72 hours.

May the powers that be watch over my soul.

Posted by Contagion in Tales from the Work Place at July 24, 2007 05:02 AM | TrackBack

You should tell them that Sensitivity Training is gay.

Posted by: Dr. Phat Tony at July 24, 2007 10:07 AM

Ummm... I have a class video up at my place. *grin*



Posted by: Teresa at July 24, 2007 11:03 AM

I've been to a few sensitivity classes myself. The last one I went to was two days, and most of the time I spent heckling the teacher, or making references to the Simpson's.

They actually refused to give me my sensitivity training diploma. Oh no, whatever will I do?

Posted by: Jabbah at July 24, 2007 04:53 PM

Dude... this has got to be the third or fourth Sensitivity class since you started frickin' blogging! I think you should offer to teach it...

Posted by: Bou at July 24, 2007 06:25 PM

I'm actually mildly concerned that I may be banished to one soon.

It's been hinted.

And I'm not management. And I work on the shop floor. At night.

Do I get bonus points for that?

Posted by: Graumagus at July 25, 2007 01:25 AM

Maybe you should explain to the talking heads that be, that no matter how many sensitivity classes they send you to, you will not allow them to compromise all your research into a new management style. How your research and implementation of this new management style will change the world of office managers. Throw in a line or two about them/the company being mentioned in college textbooks as the testing ground for this innovative and effective new style of management.

May I suggest "Contagionistic" or "Stupidiotcratic" as the name of this style?

Posted by: Petey at July 26, 2007 08:44 AM