September 20, 2007

Not sure what will help.

It looks like Boopie is up to old tricks. Ktreva has been asking him for a while now if hes been doing his homework and what not, he of course has been saying yes. Well due to a history of the boy not doing his homework, she called the school. Guess what, so far two of his teachers have confirmed he has not been turning in his homework and that he could end up failing some of his classes this quarter.


So now Boopie of course is mad at us because not only did we not trust him, but also hes grounded and loss the use of his cell phone. (All his phone are belong to me.) Of course since he is a Gen Y or millennial, he feels this is completely unfair. My thing is that hes going to pass High School if it kills him and hes going to start learning to tell the truth if I have to beat it out of him.

To be honest Im almost at my wits ends with the boy. He wont put on clean cloths, he wont shower, he wont eat, and then he lies about it badly. Im tempted to start looking into boarding or military schools, but I just dont know if he would last at either one before they sent him home.

Posted by Contagion in Family Life at September 20, 2007 04:39 PM | TrackBack

Man, I hate to say it, but have you considered taking him to a counselor? Not a "counselor" like they have in the school, but to an actual counselor?

Posted by: Shadoglare at September 20, 2007 09:16 PM

Actually, that is was I was thinking, but I really didn't want to say it.....

The hygene stuff is what makes if a little diffrent than a regular painintheass teenager phase. But I'm no DR.

Posted by: Sarah at September 20, 2007 10:44 PM

There sounds like there is more going on here then just being a regular teenager these days.

A counsler might be a good idea, or have him talk to a trusted friend of the family or other parent about what is going on or just sit him down and talk to him yourself.

I can't remember if you have mentioned it or not, but does his biological father play a part in his life? Could be that is starting to affect him.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at September 21, 2007 07:14 AM

I am going to go with the counselor idea too. I had a friend in high school who was like this and that really seemed to make the difference for him....that and the threat of military school.

But i would suggest exhausting all other options before going the military school route, because sometimes that can cause more problems. There are a couple of military school kids i see over at juvi crt and they mostly just feel like their family gave up on them and the consequences of their actions don't matter anymore.

Posted by: Sari at September 21, 2007 08:50 AM

He is seeing a counselor, not that it's doing any good. I think a lot of it has to do with his Biological father. Whiche I can't do anything about.

Posted by: Contagion at September 21, 2007 01:32 PM

Take him in to see his regular doc for a complete physical, and ask him to also check Boopie out for signs of clinical depression. All the signs are there, my friend.

Posted by: Omnibus Driver at September 21, 2007 02:05 PM

I went through something similar with my oldest, a boy. At some point, we just hammered the point home that he was old enough to take responsibility for his actions. If he screwed up, it was his fault and nobody else's.

Since he acted like he wanted to not be part of the family, that was how he was treated. We fed him, he had a place to sleep, but for the most part he was on his own. That meant no rides, he walked everywhere. No borrowing the car, ever. He needed money? He got a job.

He barely passed high school, went into the Navy and did a tour on a sub. Now he's out, has a good job and is taking night classes at the local community college and will start full-time school either in the spring or next fall (his high school grades killed him). The final straw was him losing a job he loved because he didn't have a four year degree.

We gave him free reign within the rules of our house and never cut him any slack on the rules. He's gradually getting his act together.

We didn't follow any specific plan so much as just got fed up with fighting for everything. It's working for us, so far... sort of. Good luck on however you handle your situation, it's the hardest thing in the world to deal with.

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