November 10, 2008

Maybe this is a long time coming

I haven't blogged about Boopie in a while, and that's because I really didn't want to bring people down. Tonight I reached a breaking point.

Boopie had two D's and an F on his last report card. His attitude has gone downhill, he's been back talking Ktreva and I. His been slacking off, breaking rules and just seriously becoming a real jerk. Some days he is good, others he's like he's straight out of Juvie. Most the time he's a problem child.

Things came to a head when he punched Clone.

I kept my calm and cool collective when I first addressed it. I told him that there is no excuse in hitting someone that is that much smaller than him. I gave him the whole size differential speech and then left the room, but then Ktreva was talking to him regarding a lot of the bad decisions he made, when I heard him yelling at her and throw something. So I stormed into the room and gave him a demonstration on size differential by pulling him across the room by his ankles.

Then I let into him verbally. I explained that he makes all of his choices and the fact he has no TV, no video games and is grounded is because of his grades, behavior problems and the fact that he'd been lying to us. That I was tired of him, his attitude and his lies. I'm also tired of dealing with his bullshite. He chooses poorly and then blames everyone else for the consequences. He hates it at our house because we have rules and structure, at his loser father's he can do what ever he wants.

So I kicked him out. I told him to get the F#*k out of the house. I told him that I was tired of it, I was tired of him, and I was tired of the bullshite. He could call his father and come and get him because I wasn't putting up with it in my house anymore.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I've failed the boy miserably and at this point I don't see how I can correct the problem.

Posted by Contagion in Family Life at November 10, 2008 07:47 PM | TrackBack

I'm sorry you are going through that.

It seems that we are getting closer and closer to where you are....and Little Man will be 18 in February, yet acts like a 12 yr old sometimes.

Hubby and I were talking about Little Man's behavior, and she said something that struck me--maybe it might you, I don't know...(and she said this to Hubby) as her boys are older than ours...

She said, "You're treating him like a child, the gounding etc.. If he wants to act like a man, and bow up on you, let him. Then pop him one, man to 'man.' It seems that all young boys must go through this before they realize they are not yet a man."

Unfortunately, in your case, Boopie has a bio father. That's tough.

I wish you well, and Ktreva, too.

Posted by: Rave at November 10, 2008 08:59 PM

We were talking to a friend....just for clarification...

Posted by: Rave at November 10, 2008 09:00 PM

You were also fighting against what his father is doing to him.

He will learn, eventually, but he will learn and it's going to be the very hard way.

Sometimes things like this has to be done in order for him to see the light.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at November 11, 2008 08:01 AM

You're not failing him. The two of you are doing plenty to help him see the error of his ways. He's really failing himself. He's old enough to see that his actions have consequences, and if he chooses to be in denial about that, it's his problem.

The unfortunate part is that you love him and it hurts to see him fail.

Posted by: caltechgirl at November 11, 2008 01:07 PM

Oh shit. Hang in there... And remember - protecting Clone and Ktreva are a priority. I feel for all of you guys... :(

Posted by: Richmond at November 11, 2008 03:23 PM

No from what I've seen you & ktreva are excellent parents.It just that the boy is living in 2 differents homes with different values. He is going through the teen years and someday he'll wake up and realize that he needs to change his ways. Our marine wasn't quite as much of a hassle, but we kind of went down that road with him. He actually started changing his senior year in high school & joining the marines really made him look at his future. So hang in there, it will get better.

Posted by: red at November 12, 2008 06:53 AM

Everyone else has already said it. I'm so sorry you all have to go through this. :-( I wish there was some magical way to make it all go right. *sigh*

Posted by: Teresa at November 12, 2008 11:28 PM

Hang in there my brother. I've been there, Once was myself with my parents and the second time was my youngest and now with the girlfriends son. I woke up and so did my youngest. Waiting for the boy now.

Posted by: Jim E. at November 13, 2008 10:02 PM