August 28, 2009

Corn, really????

So I've been on this liquid diet for 8 days now. Yes, I'm grumbly, shut the heck up! I understand how the human body works, especially the digestive tract, but I'm still confused on a couple of things.

Okay, I'm taking approx 700- 800 calories a day, yet I still shite the same amount... Go figure. I know that being on a liquid diet does not mean I'm not going to have proper colon function, but seriously the same quantity? That just doesn't seem right.

Secondly, where the hell did the corn come from???? I haven't eaten solid food for 8 days. I haven't had corn for a week before that. Where the hell did the corn in my excrement long ship come from? I'm not even talking one kernel. It looked like I ate an ear of corn!

And before any of you smart alecs make a comment, no I'm not trying to absorb nutrients anally, thus I am not using corn as a suppository!

Posted by Contagion in Stories about me. at August 28, 2009 09:05 AM | TrackBack

Start drinking blood.

Posted by: Graumagus at August 28, 2009 09:10 AM

How is Blood going to help? seriously? Plus it's not on my list of acceptable items to drink.

Posted by: Contagion at August 28, 2009 12:19 PM

I guess those ads about colon cleansers have something to them, all that stuff stuck to your colon walls like spackle.

Here is something to cheer you up though, right after I started praying for Contagion I found out Ted Kennedy died. Lets hope that the power of paying for Contagion keeps working!

Posted by: Peter at August 28, 2009 01:11 PM

It is amazing how long stuff will stay in your system. When I had all my problems the first thing they told me no more corn, beans, nuts, or anything with seeds including even tiny ones like in strawberries. If you have polups in your colon(the little pockets) that some of us get, foods like that get trapped and can eventually cause a rupture like I had. Even now, 5 years later, corn will cripple me. It does take a while to ummmmm ...cleanout. Hang tough, it will get better.

Posted by: Osa at August 29, 2009 11:05 PM

Holy shit. Heh. It wasn't really meant as a joke. Seriously, wow, do you have a bad case of diverticulosis? There is no way your body should have kept all that inside, unless you had some seriously big pockets. Even then... maybe it's not corn. Maybe it just LOOKS like corn and instead is globules of fat or something. If it keeps up, ask your doc.

Good Grief. I've been popping in once a week since you started your beer only blogging, hoping all is well. I had no inkling it had come to this.

Posted by: Bou at August 30, 2009 09:00 PM