August 01, 2005

BlogCrawl Recovery

Contrary to popular belief, I am not dead. Although most of the day Sunday I wished I was. Being the amiable guy that I am, I decided to help T1G out by having his hangover for him. From this post, I can see that my wife finagled my password out of me so she could get a taste for blogging. I doubt she will ever start a blog, not from my lack of trying, she is just afraid no one will read what she has to say. Yes, I have tried to convince her she’s wrong.

Now down to business, it’s Monday and I’m still feeling like hell. That is because I decided that if I was going to do this right, I was going to get really drunk… Mission accomplished. My “Brewutiful” (TM T1G) wife was nice enough to drive me down to Fritz’ Wooden Nickel in Stillman Valley so we could eat some of the best prime rib I’ve had and meet up with T1G. Aneth said she was going to come, but she showed up fashionably late, but not as fashionably late as Tammi. Then Tammi tried to pick up one of the locals for some reason or another. T1G tried to warn her it might not be a good idea, but she ignored him for some reason. We do believe she now has a stalker.

Fritz was tending bar and what a great guy, he just left the bottle of Jack Daniels right there for me. A couple of times he stood there holding it and just kept topping off my glass, as I would empty it. T1G and I decided we should do some shots of Jameson’s. Not a bad whiskey, I prefer Bushmill's if I’m drinking Irish whiskey. The Wooden Nickel didn’t strike me as a joint that would carry a good single malt Scotch, so I didn’t ask. You never know, it might have.

That is the end of my “clear” memory. I went out with the entire purpose to get trashed so I could come back and make comments. Through out the night I remember turning to my wife and making comments like “If I was driving, I’d quit now”, “This is drunker then I usually let myself get”, “This is the drunkest you’ve ever seen me.” “This is the drunkest I can remember being since college.” I think Fritz went through at least three bottles of Jack Daniels while I was there. I’m not saying I was the only one drinking it, but I did a lot of damage. The bottle I started on when I arrived was freshly opened, and I remember him opening up a second bottle before 9 PM. At that time, no one else was drinking Jack.

    Funny things I do remember.

-T1G falling out of his chair
-Tammi, Aneth and Ktreva having a best boobies contest
-T1G “raising the roof” and making the “Whoot Whoot” noise.
-Aneth poking T1G to see watch him change colors
-Using a thick Scottish Accent to call blog momma-sis Bou
-Bou being drunker then I was…
-My trying to balance a tray of drinks at the end of the night
-Tammi flirting with me while my wife was sitting right next to me
-My inability to say simple words like “intoxicated”

I remember laughing a lot too, but I just don’t recall what I was laughing at.

When we finally got home, my wife took our sitter home. While she did that, I did a couple more shots of whiskey and made a drink for me to sit down and start blogging. I figured I should start with my own post first. Then I planned to hit all the Frizzen Sparks and Bad Example Family members to leave a comment. There were also some other blogs I meant to hit. My plans went to hell. Yesterday when I was going back through I missed some blogs I really had meant to leave comments. After I finished hitting everyone in my Frizzen Family, I tried to go onto the Bad Example family. However, the blogroll was fubar. It didn’t even show up. That required me to use my Jack Daniel’s soaked memory to find everyone. That is quite a chore. I did cheat and use Harvey’s hand coded blog roll after a while. Going back and reading my comments yesterday I realized that you could tell which blogs I hit in what order. My comments were worse as the night went on. I will say I am a little disappointed in the turn out of comments on blogs, I was hoping there would be more drunken comments on different blogs. This may be due to the fact that there was a chat room created for it. It was a good idea, but I think it took away from what I was looking for.

Now for the aftermath: I passed out in my front yard. My wife went to bed while I plugged away making comments. She came down to check on me as I was deciding to go outside and have a cigarette. I generally only smoke when I’ve been drinking. (So I smoke seven nights a week! Ba-da-bum-bum) Ktreva decided to join me, so we sat outside talking when I just get up and start walking off the porch. I vaguely remember her asking me where I was going. Then the floodgates opened up. I had the urge to ‘gurge and let it flow. Maybe I’m wrong, but I remember it covering about 75% of my front yard. Next thing I remember is I’m lying on the ground and my wife is trying to wake me up by kicking me in the head. Apparently, she attempted to move me, but she just wasn’t strong enough. Making it to bed, all was well with the world… or so I thought.

Along comes 4:30 AM and I feel my stomach starting to contract. Running into the bathroom, I make it in the nick of time, as my body evacuates the remainder of what it had missed earlier. Stumbling back to bed, all was well with the world again… and again I was wrong. There was a repeat performance of this scenario every 15-30 minutes until about 1 pm Sunday afternoon. No matter what I did, my stomach would not settle down. I would sip water and it would come up, I would nibble on saltines and they would come back up. Not even the damn Advil wouldn’t stay down to help my headache. I finally crawled out of bed to stay around 1:30. At this time, I would like to say that my wife is a Saint. The whole time she was looking in and taking care of me. She was nice and sympathetic. I told her she didn’t have to, it was my own damn fault, but she insisted. Disparaging remarks about my wife will NOT be tolerated.

I spent the afternoon drinking broth and water while snacking on saltines. Around 5:00 PM, my stomach felt strong enough for me to eat normal food. It was then I discovered that I wasn’t 100% sober yet. Having had enough of water, I decided to drink some pop. As soon as the carbonation hit my mouth, I could taste Jack Daniels again. The caffeine and carbonation brought the alcohol back out in me. No, I did not get sick again. I just kind of felt mellow and my headache went away. This lasted for the rest of the night and into today. That’s right folks; I’m still suffering a hang over.

Let this be a valuable lesson to everyone. I do NOT normally drink that much, I only did so to ensure that I would make appropriately drunk comments on everyone’s blog. When I tried doing it with less then total drunkenness, my comments and posts were still okay. When my body told me I had enough to drink, I kept going. I probably should have gone to the hospital for a good stomach pumping/charcoal slurry. Through out college I saw a lot of people that had alcohol poisoning, including myself once. How I feel is exactly how I felt after that incident. This was not one of the smarter things I’ve ever done and I do not plan to do it again, ever. I will continue to drink, just not that much. Actually, I could go for a Jack and Coke right now, I’m kidding. Kind of, well maybe in an hour.

BTW, at the bar it was decided that I should host the BlogCrawl Annually. Mark Your Calendars, The second annual BlogCrawl will be July 19, 2006!

Posted by Contagion in BlogCrawl at August 1, 2005 01:02 PM | TrackBack

My one and only bought with alcohol poisoning went something like that too. I spent the night in a bathtub instead of a bed though, to ensure close proximity to the toilet.

Great idea this blogcrawl. Can't wait to do it again!

Posted by: Oddybobo at August 1, 2005 12:34 PM

Damn I wish The Wife had this weekend off...

Couldn't let myself get well and ruly smashed because of child watching duties.

Although I did get toasty enough to talk about shaving my balls in the chat room...
At length...

Posted by: Graumagus at August 1, 2005 01:30 PM

Oddy, I'll hold you to that.

Grau.. You talk about shaving your balls when ever alcohol passes your lips.

Posted by: Contagion at August 1, 2005 01:37 PM

Consider the calendar marked. And indeed, I think the chat room did take some away from the Blogcrawl -- not that it was a bad idea, just a different one. Nothing wrong with having a planned drunk chat room!

I just wonder, as I did before the crawl, how everyone would find everyone else, or if there would just be random comments all over the place (like I left). With the chat room, there were occasional forays into various blogs, but they were rather seldom and random. I'd love to see how it would go without a chat room.

Posted by: Ogre at August 1, 2005 02:00 PM

It was fun going through the blogs. I agree with everyone else. Next time lets have a separate chat room vs blog crawl drunk. I missed the chat room, as I had to get some sleep. Might be why I'm wanting a straight blog crawl.

Posted by: vw bug at August 1, 2005 02:37 PM

You need to set up a guest account for your wifie on your blog to start out ;)

Posted by: S at August 1, 2005 07:24 PM

I'm thinking next should do it on the solstice and have a big bonfire and everybody could do the Scottish thing and at midnight, strip down nekkid, paint yourself blue, get drunk off each others fumes, and beccause its colder than a witches tit, run around the bonfire, screaming and yelling....... and...well.....

carry on!

Posted by: Sinequanon at August 1, 2005 07:30 PM

-Tammi, Aneth and Ktreva having a best boobies contest

uh NO. No, and no we didn't. You tried to PAY me to but no.

You were funny as hell and I LOVE your wife. What a great evening.......

Thank You guys for making the drive (even though I figured out it takes you less time to get home from there then it does me....)

Posted by: Tammi at August 1, 2005 08:42 PM

Heheh... I hope everyone appreciates the length that you went to for authentic drunken assholery.

Job well done.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at August 1, 2005 10:37 PM

you went from having your nightstand look pornstar to looking like a hospital room? Come on......

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at August 2, 2005 12:53 AM

Sin: No one wants to see me nekkid. Plus me, drunk and fire don't get along, the last time that happened I burned down a corn field.

Tammi; You can deny it all you want. But I distinctly remember a best boobies contest!

T1G: When I do something, I do it the best that I can.

AWTM: My nightstand didn't look like a hospital.. it looked the same, only a little more disheveled as I knocked crap over running to the bathroom.

Posted by: Contagion at August 2, 2005 06:53 AM

Re: "she is just afraid no one will read what she has to say"

Ktreva - Talk to Boudicca. She told me EXACTLY the same thing.


For weeks.

She was wrong.

You are too.

Start, please.

Posted by: Harvey at August 2, 2005 09:25 PM