Miasmatic Review

Going away.

I’m going to be taking a break for a while. I’m not saying I’m quitting blogging, but I am going to be taking a hiatus for a while. There some pressing issues going on that need my attention.

Like the fact I’m going on vacation… SEE YA WHEN I GET BACK!

Contagion. Now with more sensitivity.

I have returned from Sensitivity Class. It was a refreshing break from weekly grind in that a couple of things that have never happened before to me happened over the last couple of days.

Lets start off with the most insensitive thing that has happened. Tuesday night after dinner I returned to the Hotel Room. By nine o’clock I was bored off my arse and wanted a snack so I ran to a little convenience store next to the hotel, sure it was a longer walk, but it cost a third as much to get what I wanted. When I returned to the hotel room there was still nothing on TV. Being the curious individual I am, and in a new place I started searching the room for anything… and found nothing. So I went to look out the window. I peaked through the curtain and saw I had the wonderful view of another hotel. YAY! Just as I was about to shut the curtains something caught my attention, boobs. There was a couple having sex across the way from me and one floor down.

I did what any red blooded American male would do. I turned out the lights, repositioned the recliner in front of the window, got myself a drink and ate Cheesy Chex Mix while watching this couple go at it for 15 minutes. Hey, I was bored. They weren’t the best looking, but it was the best thing to watch. Sure it’s a little creepy to be sitting in the dark watching some strangers have sex across the way, but hey they obviously wanted to be watched and I was willing to oblige. I was just wishing I had brought with those binoculars that work gave us last year for something. It would have made the show more interesting. And before you ask, no Mr. Happy did not get covered in orange powder. Unfortunately there wasn’t a repeat show Wednesday night.

This class was a little different then the other ones. Most of the people in this class were new management that hadn’t done anything; they just needed to go through it. Technically, I think I was the only one sent for punitive corrective reasons. Of course they all seemed to be the uber liberal types. I was involved in more debates over Obama VS Hillary for president. I just smiled and nodded, until someone said something about outlawing guns. Then I very politely excused myself from the table, went outside and screamed at the tops of my lungs. Did you know homeless people don’t like it when you do that?

Now here is where the twilight zone comes into play. Guess who the star pupil was? If you’re gasping in disbelief and saying, “no way, it couldn’t have been you” than you’re right. I decided this time I was just going to toe the line and not cause any trouble. I turned out to be the star pupil. I guess something from those other four times sunk in. But I wasn’t just the star pupil; I was leaps and bounds over the rest of the class. The instructor and the observers were all impressed with my feedback techniques and people skills. Stop laughing, I have them, I just never use them.

Now here is where it gets really weird. Today one of the observers wasn’t able to come due to some family emergency or something. So the instructor had to fill the roll as the observer for a Roll Playing session. Since she was doing that, she needed someone to lead the class. Yep, she looked at me and said, “Contagion, you’ve been most impressive in your knowledge of the material and interactions. Do you think you could lead the discussion on this chapter while I do the observations? I’m sure you already have a firm grasp on the material, all you have to do is go over the material in the instructors book and make sure you hit the key points I’ve highlighted.”

What was I going to say? Well, let me rephrase that I told her I would. So for 45 minutes today I instructed the class on Mutual Respect. No joking, I was the instructor. I had a class full of students listening to me instruct them on the fine art of Mutual Respect and being sensitive to other’s feelings.

So now, for all of you that have been saying I’ve been sent so many times I could instruct the class… I guess you’re correct. Either that or your psychic.

But to make you feel better, I did get a talking to once while there. During Arts and Crafts time (Don’t ask) I was singing All For Me Grog under my breath again. And as usual it was the bawdy version. I don’t know why a house of ill repute isn’t being sensitive, but hey I learned my lesson.

For whom the bell tolls.

Do you hear something? It is the sound of a low, lamenting, tolling bell alerting people of a mournful event. For whom does the bell toll? That would be me of course. Now don’t worry my good readers, this is nothing I won’t survive. I’ve been down this path many times before. Sometimes just for a partial day, usually for a day and a half. This time it is a 2.5 day long journey.

For today I head to sensitivity class… again. (BONG!) There is a difference from this time to all the others. The class I’m going to is an “intensive two and a half day course designed to help those special cases where other classes failed.” Let me translate that: This is for your really difficult people that have scoffed off all of our previous attempts at brainwashing them to believing that the entire world should be PC. (BONG!) “We have specially trained instructors to help educate and enlighten the students to the emotions and perceptions of those they interact.” Translation: We have highly skilled brainwashers that can reprogram your people to pussyfoot around others. (BONG!) “Sessions include: Being more sensitive to your staff. Acknowledging other’s feelings in the work place. Difficult employee or an opportunity for personal growth. Helping you to help others. My employees, my friends.” Translation: Sessions include: Don’t make your staff cry. No matter what you do, don’t upset the staff. You’re employee is a pain in the arse, but you need to ignore it. Why you suck. Let’s join hands and sing Kum By Yah. (BONG!)

But on the bright side I’m going to be able to eat on the company dollar at some of my favorite restaurants in Chicago. On Wednesday night if any of you want to meet me in Chicago for dinner that would be great. I'll be at Fodo's at 100 W. Grand. Since I’m going to be away from a computer you’ll have to either call me if you have my number or contact Ktreva and she’ll get your information to me. If you can’t or don’t want to, that’s fine. But do me a favor; just keep me in your thoughts for the next 72 hours.

May the powers that be watch over my soul.

My vehicles, my driveway.

Well the powers that be decided to tear up the street in front of my house. Now I’m not talking about the severity of what they did to Richmond’s old street, but pretty bad. Well her street was gone, but mine you can’t pass through. They’ve closed the road due to the eight-foot deep in the middle of the road. It’s “L” shaped starting in my neighbors yard going almost all the way across the street and then running down the middle of the road for about 20 feet. They started working on it last week, and it looks like they may finally be finishing it up.

In the meantime we’ve had all this construction equipment parked outside our house. Which anyone that knows me realizes how hard it was for me to not want to go joy riding on the Excavator Saturday night when I got home and was a little “socially lubricated”. They probably didn’t leave the keys in it, but I know they left it unlocked. Mahn, I could have dug some big holes!

We’ve also had a lot of vehicles parked in front of our house and big trucks coming and going hauling away debris and bringing in fresh materials. I understand they are just doing their job and there was something seriously wrong with the storm drains, so I didn’t complain. It needed to be done, and is there really a good time for this?

I only had an issue once. I went to leave for work one morning and a tractor/trailer hauler was parked blocking my driveway. There was no way out either driving through my yard or the neighbors. Well not with out taking out some fences in the back yards. I walked up to the guy sitting in the cab and asked, “Hey, could I get you to move the truck just for a moment? I need to go to work and I can’t out.”

The guy shot back with, “Well you shouldn’t be parked there.”

Me, “Well, yea I should it’s my driveway. That’s were I park.”

Guy, “You should be parking on the side street. The city sent notice telling you.”

Me, (Starting to loose patience) “ No, no they didn’t. The only reason we knew this was going to happen is we saw someone painting lines on the road. And no I shouldn’t park on the street; it’s my driveway. I park in my driveway, not half a block away on another street.”

At this point some foreman/supervisor/engineer/person in charge walked up and asked if there was a problem. I explained my situation and the supervisor guy asked if I could wait until they finished unloading. Which I said that’s fine… I didn’t realize it was going to take them 25 minutes to finish, but as long as I got to work on time, I was okay.

It's all for me grog.

Since my last re-enactment I’ve been some kind of Celtic Music listening fiend. I’ve been listening to it at work, in the truck, and allegedly singing some bawdy Irish drinking songs at Carlyle brewery Saturday before the Raptor game and drunken Scottish fighting songs after the game. Also allegedly in a Scottish brogue. Anyone that has heard me sing knows that my singing is not a good thing, not a good thing at all.

Yea, apparently I was very entertaining to those around me between yelling at the Raptors for loosing and singing songs about houses of ill repute.

It's all for me grog, my jolly, jolly grog. It's all for me beer and tobacco for I spent all me loot in a house o' ill repute and I think I'll have to back there tomorrow.

Raptor's season is officially over.

The Raptors lost last night and they lost badly. It wasn’t even a close game. This was the worst played and coached game I’ve seen all year. I don’t know what was going on, but something didn’t seem right. Some players really put their all into it. They really tried and were frustrated during the game, other players just seemed to let it go. Some of the coaching decisions were really suspect. I’m not saying there was any impropriety by some of the coaches and players, but during and after the game there were a lot of angry players, coaching staff and fans with contacts making statements.

All I know is that Mayor Morrissey is now going to be able to really start on the renovations to the MetroCentre like he wanted.

My Team.

Last night’s draft has come and gone. I didn’t do as well as I had hoped. Then again I could have done much worse Here is my line up:

QBs: Donovan McNabb PHI,
Matt Hasselbeck SEA
RBs: Steven Jackson STL, Willis McGahee BAL,
Deuce McAllister NO
WRs: Deion Branch SEA, Plaxico Burress NYG, Margues Colston NO,
Greg Jennings GB
K: Jason Elam DEN,
Jason Hanson DET
Defense: Jaquars

We’ll see how this season plays out.

So true.

Normally I don't post too many jokes on here, but I couldn't help but laugh at this one. Probably because every male football fan I know has been in a similar situation.

HER DIARY

Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you too."

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried.

I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY

Today the Bears lost, but at least I got laid.

Building Tetris

I like Tetris, it’s a fun little time waster, but I don’t know if I would want to stand outside and watch it played with the lights of a building.

If all debates were like this, I might watch... muted.

Want to get more people interested in politics. How about hiring a bunch of girls to sing for your debate. Such as this clip of an Obama Vs Giuliani Debate… with dancers!

So that's how it works.

I was never quite sure how the mouse pointer moved across the screen.

Now I know.

Food of the Geeks.

Do you have that special someone in your life that is a geek? Are you handy in the kitchen? Would you like to make them a special desert for what ever occasion? Is it hard to find something that really fits them? Well I have the solution for you.

Circuitry Snacks

They are deserts and treats that are made to look like computer components. Geeks of the world can snack!

FOOTBALL!!!!!!

It's a football weekend for me! Tonight I have the draft for a Fantasy Football league that I joined. I'm kind of excited as this is the first time I've done a league like this. Usually I just do my SalCap and Pool. Which will be coming soon as soon as Yahoo! opens it up. But this year BlogSpawn Bruce started an NFL fantasy league and asked me to join. My goal is to not lose ever week.

Then tomorrow night is the first of the Raptor's Playoff games. Good times, good times! Tomorrow I will start holding court at Carlyle Brew Pub at about 3:00 PM, any and all that would like to join me are more then welcome to. We'll be there until approximately 6:30 PM. Good beer, and me... what more could you want?

Anyway I'm really ready for some good football, and it looks like it's going to be starting for me in just about 3 hours.

The whole thing is for the dogs.

There has been a lot of flack for Michael Vick (Atlanta Falcon’s QB) for his indictment in the dog-fighting incident that took place on his property. On the radio, in the news, on blogs people have been condemning him for being involved in all of this. They don’t even hear his side, they are just ready to put the shoe on the other foot and feed him to the dogs.

Vick on the other hand is denying any knowledge of the incidents and involvement with it. Whether this is true or not I don’t know, all I do know is this: An indictment is not proof of guilt. It’s just a formal accusation of having committed a criminal offense, usually felony level. The prosecutor has to prove to a Grand Jury that there is enough evidence to bring the case to trial. At least that is how it is in Illinois.

There are numerous cases where people have been indicted of a crime and been found not guilty. Until this whole thing goes to trial and a verdict is given, I’m reserving my judgment. I’m not saying he’s innocent, I’m not saying if he was involved it is okay. All I’m saying is that I’m going to wait for the legal system to find him guilty or not before I crucify the man and demand that his career be destroyed.

This is America, and the last time I checked we are still innocent until proven guilty.

Yuengling Traditional Lager

My buddy Will brings tonight’s beer review to you. He gifted me tonight’s beer last weekend at Theatiki. He kept trying to get me to drink one out there, but I wanted to wait until I was home and able to do the review in order to drink it. I didn’t want to make my review biased. Tonight I review Yuengling Traditional Lager by G.G Yuengling & Son Inc in Pottsville, PA.

Tonight’s beer came in an off white 12 oz can. On the front with an old fashion style looks is the logo inside an oval. There is an Eagle in the center. There is a story on the side of the can, “D.G. Yuengling & Son is officially recognized as America’s oldest brewery. With over 178 years of brewing tradition and fiver generations of Yuengling Family ownership, D.G. Yuengling & Son holds the American Brewing industry record for the longest, continuously operated brewery…” There’s more, but I’m not typing it.

It has a dark amber color with a hint of red to it. There doesn’t appear to be a hint of cloudiness to it and light passes through easily. . It pours a three quarter inch head that fades quickly to nothing. There is no lacing or even ring around the edge of the glass.

The scent is that of floral hops and caramel malts. If you smell it long enough, you can get a hint of corn. You can taste a mixture of caramel malts with a touch of hops. There is almost a pear-like flavor to the aftertaste that fades quickly. There is almost no bitterness to the beer.

It is a light bodied beer. There is a lot of carbonation to it that is almost distracting. It’s very smooth and easy to drink.

I have heard a lot about this beer, but never had one until tonight. The anticipation of drinking it was probably better then the act itself. To be honest to every one that has said so many good things about this beer, I think you built my anticipation up only to be let down. I really didn’t think it was that impressive. It’s like your standard American lager. There really isn’t anything all that special about it. I think this is just another beer that gets hyped due to a reputation, a reputation for being the oldest beer in America. It is easy to drink, this is one of those get drunk quick types of beers. I had the first one down in three “sips”.

Overall, I did enjoy the beer, I was expecting more, but it just didn’t deliver. Overall this is not a bad beer; in fact it’s a good beer. Why anyone would call this their favorite, I don’t know. I give it 5 out of 10.

Garbage.

For the last couple of weeks some kind of animal had been getting into our trash, ripping the bags open and spreading garbage all over our yard and the alley. I was getting really annoyed and I didn’t know what to do other then try to find a more secure way to deal with the garbage. That was until this morning.

Ktreva had left for work with Clone already leaving me home alone. I was packing my cooler for work when I looked up and saw two guys going down the alley pushing a grocery cart full of bags. I see one of them touching our garbage bags and I can see he’s about to tear it open. He’s obviously looking for pop cans (we don’t recycle), if he was looking for credit card info and personal stuff; we shred all of that. It pissed me off, I realized it was these assholes that where spreading trash all over the alley and my yard.

I yell out the back window loudly, “If you rip that bag open I’m going to fill you so full of lead you’ll be able to use your dick as a pencil.” Yes, I stole a line from The Three Amigos. But I was angry and all I could think of. I never saw two homeless guys run down an alley pushing a cart so fast in my life.

The best part was that one of the new neighbors was outside when I yelled that out. For some reason they didn’t want to make eye contact with me.

I won't do it!

Dr Phat Tony, who has been on some kind of blogging hiatus, comes back just to tag me with the 8 facts meme. Since I’ve already done the 5 weird facts meme, and the 6 weird facts meme, I figure that is 11 facts about me that you all know. I feel this should sufficiently cover the 8 facts that he would like me to share.

Plus I really don’t think you all want to know anymore about me.

What really gets my goat (Not meaning Jill. whom I wanted killed, slaughtered and then served at a Bar-b-que.) is that he didn't even have the nerve to tell me, I had to do my random, "is he alive" checks to discover it.

You owe me beer Dr. Phat Tony!

I need a self mowing lawn.

Well, I really need to do some yard work. Beside the dead squirrel that has been in my front yard for almost two weeks, it hasn’t been mowed in almost three. Part of that has been because I’ve been out of town, the other has been that ever day I went to mow the lawn, the skies opened up and rained on me. I’m not fond of mowing in the rain. It’s supposed to rain of an on for the next three nights, and then I’m busy again. It looks like I’m just going to have to bite the bullet, go out and mow in the rain. Especially since that nomadic tribe of plains people have returned. I really wish I had some of my re-enacting buddies with me to help fight them off. Or give me beer. O’well, I’ll do what I have to do.

As for the Squirrel, well lets just say I’ve chosen to ignore it. What better way to keep the neighbors at bay then having a rotting animal carcass at the base of your driveway? Yea sure it’s been there since about July 3, well at least that’s when I noticed it. With us being busy and gone, I just haven’t put much thought into it. However with all the heat we had last week the thing has gone bloated and popped already. It’s pretty much just a furry fly covered skeleton that is getting ready to stand up and start walking the earth in search of squirrel brains. I’ve got to go pick it up tonight because it’s in the way of the mower, and as much as I know it would make my neighbors all squeamish to see it, I’m not mulching a damned squirrel.

She's turning 29!

Today is Ktreva’s Birthday. As a present I bought her a Colt 1991A1 .45 in the commander model. This way she’ll leave mine alone. She seems very pleased with it. Which is a good thing.

I’ve spent three hours trying to come up with words to express how much I love and appreciate her, and I’m just not capable of doing it. I’m just not that kind of wordsmith or poet. How can a heathen like me even begin to describe how I feel every day I wake up next to her? The way I can’t help but look at her beautiful silky red hair flowing over the pillow like cascading waterfall catching the subtle ambers of a sunset. The beauty of a Celtic goddess sleeping, her head lying perfectly still as the corners of her mouth form a slight smile. When I touch her, the softness of skin is like that of rose petals on a soft summer morning. As I look at her, my heart beats a little harder and my breath quickens just knowing that I am fortunate enough to have her as my wife. I have no way of telling her these things. I can’t, for she is my love and I to clumsy to profess my love of her.

But I do wish her a very Happy Birthday. And I would appreciate it if all of you could go wish her a Happy Birthday as well.

Would you like to go into the woods with me?

This last weekend went to prove a point I’ve been telling people for years. It doesn’t matter what the event is like, if you are with friends you’ll have a good time. Four years ago we did Theatiki for the first time, it was impressive and we had a lot of fun. Made some new friends and thought it was a great event. Since then it has rapidly been dying off. Three years ago they uninvited all the food vendors that served meals instead of just ice cream and popcorn. Then they started losing vendors, unfortunately some of the good vendors left and some of the crappy ones stuck behind. They moved the weekend it was one, participants started dropping out and even though it’s a “juried” event (Meaning you have to pass inspection and meet a standard of period correctness set by the event), there are a lot of people that were wearing and displaying things they shouldn’t. IE it was not period correct for the 1750’s that this event was set.

This year the camp was about barren. The military unit camp looked vacant, trader row was about 1/3 of what it was the first year we did it. Thank god for the Buffalo Man or Ktreva and I would have been stuck having to live off of ice cream and popcorn. The rapidness of this even collapsing is surprising. To be honest there has to be some kind of internal power struggle or sabotage going on in order for this rapid of demise. But this even is not dead yet. As my friend Will pointed out, they have a great opportunity right now to turn the event around and bring it back to something great.

Even with all of that going on, we had a great time. Why? Good friends. We camped in our usual spot, our friends Will and Red showed up. Their daughter Sari drove down from college to spend the weekend as well. We should have known we were in for a heap of trouble Friday when after all of us changing into costume, Will and I set down to do some drinking. We started with all the left over beers from my reviews. After finishing ALL of those off, we switched to Will’s beer. We were about a case into it when two of the Rangers showed up. Ray and Sgt. Smiley came down and in typical Brit fashion got both Will and I to volunteer to fight in the battle the next day.

We had some more visitors, drank some a lot more beer and then decided to head up to their camp. Of course we leave our camp armed to the hilt. We’re a little on the “socially lubricated side”, and allegedly making some very strong anti-ranger, anti-Brit and anti-Indian comments. Finally we find the manky Anglish gits and set about to deplete their supplies of alcohol. Okay, at this point things start to get fuzzy. I do know that someone gave me a rum horn at one point and I about drained the thing. There was some worry that I was going to collapse it like a little kid sucking on a juice box. Ktreva got tired and headed back to camp. When it came time for us to head back, poor Red and Sari had to keep us in line. And in my case, use my possibles bag strap as a leash to keep me from wondering into other camps. I laid down in the tent to get some sleep and it started spinning like a top. How do you get the tent to stop spinning if you are already on the ground? I was woken up by the sounds of recycle beer and rum splashing off the back of my teeth. With what great speed I could muster I flung myself out of the tent… two feet and preceded to do something I haven’t done in a long, long time at an event. Vomit from drinking too much.

Saturday morning I felt fine, I was a little foggy headed, but felt fine. Until the womenfolk reminded Will and I that we volunteered to fight in the battle. We both looked at each other and stated, “That doesn’t sound like something I’d do.” After breakfast we did the woods walk battle, burned a bunch of powder and walk through the most spider filled woods I have ever been in. I was coated in head to toe in spider webs. After the battle we kind of looked at each other and decided that was too much like work and were going to desert.

When Ray showed up Saturday night to try to recruit us again for Sunday the first words out of my mouth were, “We aren’t drunk enough to volunteer again!” Saturday night wasn’t as wild and crazy as Friday… mainly because we ran out of beer and Sari wouldn’t make a “B double E, double R, U, N… BEER RUN!”(There ya go Harvey, thanks for the link.) Well she did offer earlier in the night, but we thought we had enough between my growlers and Will’s stash. We were wrong. And at 11:00 PM she didn’t feel like driving into town. Not that I blame her.

The Buffalo Man, his wife and assistant came down to join us around our fire Friday night. Stories were told, some great laughs and a couple of things I just would have never thought I would have heard about… Like a gay Klingon wedding at a Sci-Fi Con, or Buffalo Man mixing a Klingon outfit with an elf outfit and going to a Con as Kay-Blar. (Keebler) That’s right he was the Klingon Elf Kay-Blar and he would hand cookies out to the other Klingons. From what he was telling us, that didn’t go over too popularly with the Klingons.

We also discovered that I can do a plausable version of Herbert, the creepy old man from the Family Guy. Which once I got started doing, I couldn’t stop. The ladies were all creeped out by it; I think Will and I just found it funny. Especially when a creepy flatlander kept coming by to take pictures of the ladies. I couldn’t help but to keep the joke going.

Even though the event itself was kind of crappy, we had a lot of fun because of the friends and the company. There were some mistakes made… mainly not enough beer. Definitely need to bring a second cooler to Galesburg if we’re going to be drinking like that.

Surly Scot Time.

It’s time for another one of my whirlwind adventures. I’m off this weekend to Bourbonnais, IL for the Gathering on the Theatiki. This is a pretty fun event to do, as long as the temps stay out of the “oh my god I’m melting” variety. For the last couple of years the temps have been in the upper 90s low 100s with high humidity. That may be why every year at this event I damn near get heat stroke, even with drinking gallons of water.

This weekend they are calling for temps in the high 70s and low 90s and maybe rain on Saturday. Me + Re-enactment = Rain. We’re prepared for a torrential downpour sometime Saturday afternoon. Hey, why should I start having dry canvas now?

If any of you are in the area and want to see a good battle, this is the one to attend. Of all the re-enactments I do, this one has the best battles. Plus if you stick around you can help me cull off some of the overstock left over from all the beer reviews. I think I’m bringing 6 different beers to this event. 12 bottles of the last four reviews and two growlers from Carlyle.

It made sense when I said it.

Have you ever had the problem with finding the past tense of a word or phrase? If so, you’ll understand this post, if not… owell the English language sometimes escapes me. Especially if I’m drinking.

The other day I was talking to Ktreva when I explained to her a story about some escapades I had in the past. That’s when I uttered the phrase, “We didn’t know what to do, so we just wung it.”

Ktreva, “Wung it?”

Contagion, “Yea, Wung it. You know the past tense of wing it.”

Apparently from the shade of red she turned and the barking laughter she did not think that was the proper form.

What do you think?

Annoyed

Spammers. They are really starting to piss me off. First off, I've been under a constant attack of gibberish spam for two weeks now. Checking out Munuviana I see other MuNu blogs are having the same issue. What particularly pisses me off about these is that there is no URL to block, it's all complete and udder gibberish. Sunday after Ogfest I spent 3 hours de-spaming here. Yes, that is annoying and every blogger has that problem.

But I have a new and interesting problem. It appears that some spammer is spoofing my e-mail address and sending out tons of spam under my handle. I started wondering about certain failure to deliver addresses I was getting and an angry e-mail from some guy I didn't know about sending him crap, but it all came together when I received an e-mail from myself regarding getting a new loan.

If I ever knowingly run across a spammer, I'm going to kick them in the groin until I sprain my ankle.

End of the Review?

It’s been slightly over a year now since I’ve started doing the beer reviews. Yet, I’m leaning towards discontinuing them. It’s not that I mind drinking beer every Wednesday, even if it is some god-awful crap and sharing my opinion with everyone. It’s that I’m not sure anyone is even reading these reviews on here.

The main reason I started doing these reviews was because of a bad beer incident that happened to myself in April 2006, Damn you Camo Silver Ice High Gravity Lager!!!! I thought maybe if I sampled beers, my good readers and others wouldn’t end up drinking a beer that wasn’t fit to run farm machinery on. Sure, I like trying the different beers, but if I’m only doing this for myself, then I’m not going to waste your time posting them on here.

So let me know, do you get anything from these reviews or are you just skipping over them to something else?

Bully! Porter

This weeks review is courtesy of Bloodspite. He personally brought this beer to me all the way from Southwest Missouri. What a great man. He said there was another beer he wanted me to review, but they were out so he picked this one up instead. What he choose was Bully! Porter by the Boulevard Brewing Co from Kansas City, MO.

It comes in the squat 12 oz brown bottle. The main label has a picture of a bulldog with a monocle holding a pint in his left hand. In big red letters above the pictures is the word BULLY! In the same script below is read PORTER. On the red neck label there is a little blurb about the beer itself as well as the brewery’s logo. I do believe they are trying to give this beer an English look.

There is a dark coffee color to the beer with a hint of dark red. Light reluctantly passes through it, and it’s too dark to tell if there is any cloudiness to it at all. It pours a very thick tan head that is long lasting. Heck I’m almost done with the pint and there is still a head on the beer. It leaves some lacing on the side of the glass.

You can smell a combination of roasted coffee and chocolate malts easily. There is a citrus and floral hop background to the scent that is almost completely overpowered by the scent of the malts. The taste is a nice combination of coffee and chocolate roasted malts. There is a slight hop bitterness to the finish, but it helps add to the flavor and isn’t distracting. It has a mildly bitter aftertaste, but it isn’t lingering or unpleasant.

It is a medium bodied beer with a high level of carbonation. To be honest the carbonation is a little on the strong side for my likes, but not unpleasantly so.

I’m very pleased with this beer. I should not be surprised since after the last couple of times sharing a pint with Bloodspite, I know he has a good taste in beer. I’m going to be heading through KC in a couple of weeks, I may have to stop and pick me up another six-pack of it. Overall I’m going to give this a 6.5 out of 10.

Ogfest in review.

All right, I’m a little behind in posting this, but dammit, I’ve been busy. Ogfest was just about the most damn fun I’ve had in a long time. Ktreva and I left right after work to head down. When we arrived at the hotel, the bellhop guy kept wanting to help me carry my bags, I really didn’t feel comfortable letting him carry my side arms, I don’t think he understood. Especially since I didn’t tell him the innocent looking black bag was filled with handguns and ammo.

As soon as I walked up to the desk to check in, I swore I heard Tammi talking. I just couldn’t see her, and I was more interested in checking in and getting the bag of firearms out of the lobby. Sure enough after dumping off the luggage in the room we found Tammi in the bar with T1G, Og and Jon. We had time to grab a beer when Oddybobo and Zonker arrived. While we were sitting there talking Bloodspite arrived. He was all frazzled and worried looking, something about traffic, driving 8 hours and no air conditioning. Fortunately he shut up and put his beer hole to good use.

We all went to this microbrewery in Naperville. They told us for the size of party we had it would be an hour and a half wait, or we could go up stairs and just grab some tables first come first serve or wait until ours were ready. Harvey and TNT arrived just as we stole some tables from the locals. I’d review the beer, but honestly I know they had some that sucked and some that were decent. It didn’t matter; most of us were swilling beer like there was no tomorrow. After dinner we went back to the hotel to drink some more. (Don’t you judge us!) Redneck, Leslie and Shou joined in the fun.

Saturday Harvey, Bloodspite and I headed to Buffalo Range to hook up with Graumagus, Og and Curious for some shooting. We had a lot of fun at this range. We did learn two things though. First, Harvey and Bloodspite underestimate the amount of ammo that can be burnt in two hours shooting. Secondly, Bloodspite's “twins” are inconsistent as all hell. The safest place to be is directly in front of them when shooting. EVERYONE that shot them was all over the place. They felt nice and handled well, but I guess when you store them in a chaw can the rifling gets mess up! (Sorry buddy, their dogs!)

Saturday night we went to Klas in Cicero for dinner. Teresa was there waiting for us. She even made me kiss her ring again. How cool is that? Biloxi also joined us at the restaurant. After dinner some presents were given to T1G and Og made speech. Any rumors about me drinking straight from pitchers are unsubstantiated at best. Such things would be highly uncouth.

I also brought my camera with. At one point in the night I turned on the motor drive and was taking paparazzi style pictures. My memory card holds over 1,000 pictures, I had 638 left Sunday morning. Looking at these pictures there are some really good ones. Unfortunately many people there did not want their pictures taken for fear of photoshopping reasons. Apparently one or four of the bloggers in the room have a history of such things. Thus in order to get them to cooperate I promised that I would not post any of the pictures on the internet, supply them to someone else who might or knowingly provide them to anyone that may photoshop them in any way. Thus if you want to see the pictures, tough. I’ve burned them onto a disk for my own keeping.
Saturday night after the restaurant we went back to the hotel for even more drinking. (Don’t you judge us!) I never realized how much beer a group of bloggers can consume. Fortunately I’m a lightweight so I only had a couple Saturday night. Again much fun ensued. There were stories and jokes. People having a great time, and some NASCAR fan that wanted to us to all blog about NASCAR.

Sunday went well, we crawled out of bed around 10:30 AM. As I was passing through the lobby there were a group of bloggers there. At this point I would like to say to all of you, I’m sorry. I don’t remember who was all there, I was feeling a might out of it. I believe it was Tammi, T1G, Jon and Zonker…. But I could be seriously wrong. Especially after stepping outside into the daylight. For the first time this month I cursed the sun for being that bright life-giving star in the sky.

Some people had left long before I had, especially those that had flights or long drives ahead of them. About 2 in the afternoon while Ktreva and I were eating lunch, Bloodspite calls and leaves some kind of garbled voicemail for me. Folks, I’ve heard of drunk dialing, but he was driving dialing… then again he may have been drunk driving dialing from the sounds of the message. Between the cell-phone static and that thick Missouri drawl of his, I could barely make out what he was saying. Well except that he was about 130 miles from the Possum Roundup. It must be a Missouri thing.

Speaking of roundups, here’s the best part of a blogmeet post. Who all was there. This is done in no particular order what so ever. Just the order in which I found the link to their blogs.

Ktreva: Well hell, I married this one. She threw herself on that grenade. But she did look dead sexy in that dress Saturday night. Yea, I don’t know how I landed her either.

Oddybobo: This is my second time meeting her in person, and she is just as sweet, beautiful and wonderful as I remember her being. Even if she did try to tackle me and put me through a wall in the hotel.

Zonker: This is the first time I met him, unfortunately I didn’t get much time talking with him. He seems like a nice guy, I’m just going to have to force myself to not be so shy next time and actually strike up a conversation.

T1G: The birthday boy himself. As I said in his birthday comment, he’s like the older brother I never had. Only drunker, less articulate and with a worse haircut. Farking hippy!

Tammi: Smart, funny, beautiful. And contrary to some rumor, she is not monstrously tall. I don’t know where that came from, but it’s just wrong!

Og: Great guy and fun to talk to. I just really wish he would stop trying to take his clothes off around me. It seems every time I turned around he was picking up his shirt, unbuckling his belt or licking his nipples. Hey, if I’m going to be traumatized, so are you.

Jon: This was my first time meeting him; I’m glad he resurrected himself from the blogging grave. Great guy to talk to and he’s the perfect designated driver. Plus I have some GPS navigation system envy. The next time I’m in his part of the hand I’m going to have to look him up.

Bloodspite: I’m damn glad he talked the Bloodspouse into letting him go, even if it was with a promise from me to keep him out of trouble. Don’t you all laugh at once. Good guy to joke around with, especially since he likes to advertise that he grew up where they filmed Deliverance. Plus he brought me a six-pack to do a review on. Looking forward to being able to kick back a couple of dozen more beers with you at some time.

Harvey: The Blog father himself. Some of you might not believe this, but Harvey has some skills. He picked up my Colt 1991 Model 80 .45 and was getting “kill shots” at 50 yards with it. I’m re-thinking my position on pissing him off. But I'm definitely getting him back to the range sooner or later.

TNT: Short, Sassy, Sexy… and looks like a pirate with underwear on her head. Yet, she pulls it off with a certain flair. However I need to make sure that she and Ktreva never go shopping at an outlet mall together again. They cut into my beer money.

Redneck: This is another blogger I met for the first time. I actually spent some time talking with him; he seems almost as shy as I am. However, by the end of the night I couldn’t understand a damn word he was saying… but I think he was talking about fishing.

Leslie: This is a second meeting for us; unfortunately we did not get much quality time together. Actually I think my shyness and her sense of self-preservation kept it that way. One of these days I’m gonna finish that conversation we tried to start at Fritz’s a couple of years ago.

Teresa: The lovely and regal Teresa. It was just an honor that you let me kiss your ring again, and this time you didn’t even slap me. Thank you for gracing us with your presence. I’m looking forward to our next meeting.

Graumagus: I’ve known Grau for years, but damn I didn’t realized how much he likes to drive. I think he spent more on gas then beer. He also needs to get a rifle that is Contagion proof. Damn cheap Russian ammo jamming up the bolt!

Shoe: This is the first time I met her, I didn’t really get a chance to talk to her. In fact I’m trying to remember if we ever exchanged words outside of and introduction and salutation. She seems really nice. Damn my shyness!

Biloxi: Another first time meeting for me. He sat at the same end of the table that I did at dinner. So we actually were able to talk and have some conversation. He was nice, polite and just fun to talk with.

Curious: Okay, I really only spoke to him briefly at the range. In fact I didn’t even realize he was a blogger until that night at dinner. But it was nice meeting him anyway.

I think that’s everyone. If I missed someone I’m sorry.

I saw the signal.

I was getting ready to post, in detail but with out pictures, on Ogfest when I saw a sign. Somewhere south of me there is a bottle of Jack Daniels that is in dire need of drinking, and on one will do it. If it isn't drank today then it's purpose in the world will be lost.

Since, I could not in all moral conscious let that happen, I'm heading to save that bottle of Jack Daniels from being dumped down a drain.

Wish me luck.

Return from Ogfest

We’re back from Ogfest. It was a great time. We were able to see some friends we hadn’t seen in a long time and make some new ones. I’d really love to go into details, but right now I’m just so damn tired, I can barely keep my eyes open. I promise there will be more details later.

But until then, I will leave you with this question, “What is a possum roundup?”

Off to Ogfest!

We are heading to Naperville now for Ogfest. I think I grabbed everything I need.

A couple of growlers of beer from Carlyle. CHECK!

1,000 rounds of ammo. CHECK!

Shooting bag full o’ firearms and firearms accessories. CHECK!

My good camera. CHECK!

Suitcases packed, CHECK!

My beautiful wife. CHECK!

Contents of the nightstand. CHECK!

No kids, CHECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yea, it’s going to be a good time.

I hope to see a lot of you there. If you’re not going, you’re going to miss out on a good time, good people and some good beer.

They called it beer.

A couple of months back I caught wind that another brewery was opening up at Cherryvale Mall. At that time no one knew exactly when it was going to open for business. Earlier today Bruce asked me if I wanted to head to Granite City Brewery to check it out. There had been no advertising that they were open. Or if there had been, I completely missed it.

After work we met there to check it out and see what it’s like. The place was packed. We just wanted to sit at the bar, but there was no room. We ended up having to get a table in the dining area. The place was filled with your yuppie suburbanite crowd. Sadly enough since I had just come from work, I kind of fit in wearing my shirt and tie. Yea, it’s that kind of crowd. To make matters worse, the atmosphere was crap. This is your standard cookie cutter, Chicago chain restaurant in the mall look and feel. I guess it's fitting since it is a chain brewery. The only thing different was the big stainless fermenting silos in a glass-partitioned section of the building. Really, they could take those out, add more tables and slap a “Panera Bread Company” sign out front and you wouldn’t know the difference. Anyone that lives in the Chicago area knows EXACTLY what I’m talking about.

We kept telling the serving staff we didn’t want food, we just came to sample some of the beer, yet they kept trying to sell us food. I guess it’s their job, but it was annoying. Then AFTER we ordered our first pint and are discussing which one of the four brews they had we wanted to try next the waitress advised us that they have a “sampler” tray. Yea, that would have been nice to know prior to half way through the first pint. But it’s new, so I’m going to cut it some slack. However, you think they would advertise it on their beer menu, but they don’t.

But lets get down to the nitty gritty of the whole thing. What was the beer like? These aren’t going to be my normal reviews, as I didn’t bring a note pad, and I’m pulling it from memory, so you’re just going to get the basics here. BTW, I may screw up the names a little, remember, no note pad.

American Light Lager: As I read their description I told Bruce it was going to be like a Miller Lite, Bud Light, or Coors light. When they brought the samplers they described this one almost EXACTLY like that. It was very light bodied and watery. There was almost no taste to it, and the scent was minimal. It was like a watered down Miller Lite. It was weak, lacking, and very disappointing.

Benedictine Bock: This was one I was going to choose for my second pint before we found out about the sampler. Again there was almost no scent to it. In fact with all the background smells, I really couldn’t single out this beer, and it was right under my nose, literally. It was also light bodied and watery, but it had a darker richer color. The flavor was rather disappointing. It was weak and they described it as having a hint of chocolate to the flavor, but one couldn’t really taste it. It was better then the American Light Lager, but not by much.

Double Pull: It’s half American Light Lager and half Benedictine Bock. I’m going to sum this up by quoting that old anecdote, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

Duke’s IPA: They described this one of having a grapefruit flavor to it. They weren’t wrong. It smelled like grapefruit, it tasted like grapefruit, and if they jammed any more hops into it, I think the bitterness would have caused my face to implode from the pucker. Now, I will invalidate my review of this beer up front. I do not like IPAs, so it’s hard for me to review them honestly. I’m pretty much set at hating them. But from what the staff said, no one has liked it. I about fell out of my chair laughing when Bruce suggested they hook up a hose to the tank it’s in and wash down the parking lot with it. I don’t know what the parking lot did to him, but damn, that’s just harsh.

Bad Axe Stout: This was the pint I ordered first. I like stouts, I’m fonder of the European stouts over the American ones, but I still like all of them. Rarely do I find one that I don’t like. Well, I can’t say I didn’t like this one, but I’ve had many more that were better then worse. It was a light-medium body. There was a good creamy feel to it, but the overall body was again watery. It was way too bitter for a stout, they went too heavy on the hops. There was something amiss with the malts as well, and Bruce nailed it on the head; it tasted burnt. I think they were trying for a good roasted malt flavor, and over did it. It really was not a complimentary flavor to the beer.

That was it for their beer on tap. They have some others coming up in the following months and they have some seasonal ones as well. Overall I was not impressed at all with the quality of beer. I found it to be rather disappointing. Yet, I am going to give them another chance. In October I’m going to head back and see if maybe a couple months of practice might help out the brewmaster. Then I can also check out the quality of their seasonals. At this time I’m just not holding my breath.

The worst part is that after leaving I felt like a bad man. Not because I didn’t like the place or their beer, but because I went to a brewery other than Carlyle. The urge to drive down there and drink a couple of pints to plead for atonement (and wash the bad flavor out of my mouth) was over whelming.

People if you are in the Rockford Area and want a good locally brewed beer. Do yourself a favor and go to Carlyle. What do you expect from a brewery in a mall?

Oh and Bruce has a much shorter and more to the point version of this post.

Happy Fourth of July

Families and friends getting together, fireworks, grilled meat and a whole lot of fun. That’s right it’s the Fourth of July. I want to wish you all a happy Fourth of July. It’s a day for celebrating and remembering. So sometime today, take a moment of silence in remembrance of all the soldiers that fought and died in order to give us our independence.

And if you’re lucky, today while out celebrating you’ll see some women dressed like this.

Yea, she could put sky rockets in flight.

Have a happy and safe Fourth of July.

Truth, it's relevant.

I’m sorry, but not everything you read is true. Some things you read are lies. Others that you read are a stretch of the truth.

I’ll let you decide on this tidbit here for yourself.

Someone likes me.

To the individual that bought me the two growlers of Scottish Ale from Carlyle Brewing Company. You are a great person and I thank you. Of course I’m thanking you in the only way that is appropriate, I’m finishing off the first growler as I type this.

Your kindness over the last three months has not gone unnoticed and it was a complete surprise.

Thank you.

He's not a zombie, but he did rise from the grave.

HOLY CRAP! Wes of Bodhran Roll, Please! actually posted something! Of course it was mainly news from last month. IE, crappy re-enactment. IE, went to some Raptor Games… but then he drops a bombshell at the end.

In best Nelson laugh, HA-HA! Better you than me buddy! Four kids, yeah, it was nice seeing you!

In all seriousness, congratulations buddy.

Solemn memories.

I know a lot of people aren’t into history, but I’d just like to point out that the bloodiest battle in American History ended today. 144 years ago today at 3:00PM CST (I’d say 3:00PM EST, but it actually happened at 3:00 and Day Light Savings time was not enacted in 1863) General Picket led his men across the fields outside Gettysburg Pennsylvania. By 4:00 PM the battle assault was finished with almost all of Picket’s men killed or wounded. Thus Picket's Charge ended the Battle of Gettysburg, the turning point in the war for the North.

In the three days of fighting 51,000 American soldiers, from privates to Generals, died in these three days fighting for what they believed in. Some people take this for granted or just view it as a step toward freeing slaves. But anyone that has ever studied history knows that this was much more. Let me put it to you this way, if the South had won this would have been known as the Confederate Revolution.

It’s because I am a student of history. That I’ve sat quietly for three days, looking at the clocks and ticking off the timeline. Subtly making comments to people about what was happening 144 years ago at that moment. Each time I did it with a tear in my eye. Why? Because those where Americans fighting for what they believed in, and no matter if you felt they where right or wrong, they deserved to be respected… BOTH sides.

God speed gentlemen, and thank you. Thank you.

Taxes and wages increased yesterday.

I am a wee bit perturbed today. The City of Rockford’s one percent higher sales tax started yesterday. That means my boycott of the City of Rockford’s businesses started. But to add insult to injury, so did the State of Illinois increase in minimum wage from $6.50 and hour to $7.50 an hour. Of course all of those that were making minimum wage are rejoicing. Those that advocated the increase state there is going to be little to no impact on the cost of living in the state.

Yea, I’m sure they are right. I’m sure all those employers are going to give up that extra money out of their profits. Why wouldn’t they carry the burden of the loss instead of passing it on to the consumer? I mean the price on everything in this area is shooting up. Hell, it’s getting to the point that it’s cheaper for me to buy gas then milk! So I’m sure these companies and business owners are just going to pony up and say, “You know what, we are making too much profit as it is. Let’s not change anything.” Then again, maybe they won’t.

Maybe they’ll realize that now that the minimum wage has been increased, they are going to have to make up for that difference. Maybe they’ll cut back on hours, maybe they’ll cut back on benefits (like healthcare), or maybe they will turn that increased cost around to the consumer by adding to the price of their products and services? And hell, why not? If they just increased the cost of their products by 15% it won’t have that big of an effect? I mean think about it. All of these people are running around with more money in their pockets. They can afford and extra 15%, right? I mean if the employers can afford to give up an extra 15%, why can’t the consumer?

But what about those that make more then minimum wage? Does anyone think the employers are going to give everyone an extra $1.00 an hour to their wages? There may be some, but if they do I’d be more surprised than expecting it. I know my employer isn’t going to increase my wages any. So I guess that puts me just a little bit closer to the poverty level. Essentially the government just took a dollar an hour away from me. Well, okay maybe not… but that’s how it feels.

The kicker to this whole thing is that part of the law that increased our minimum wage, will also increase the minimum wage every year on July 1 by 25 cents through 2010. Increased taxes, increased gas prices, increased corn prices, increased cost of living and increased government control.

I really wish these fiscally irresponsible types would stop asking me to pay for their incompetence.

Last game of the season.

The Raptors won Saturday night. It was a great game; we had a lot of fun. If you missed it, it’s your loss. The best thing is that we have secured home field advantage through out the playoffs, and if we make it the United Bowl AND the Sioux Fall Storm don’t make it, the United Bowl will be held here in Rockford. That would rock!

The sad thing is that this was the last regular season home game until next season. I’m going to miss my regular trips to Carlisle Brewery, my fellow fans at the game, and the after game parties with the players. Sure, I have the play offs… but it’s just not the same. As I told my regular waitresses at Carlisle that this was the last home game, and that meant I wasn’t going to be coming in as often, they told me I needed to make an excuse to stop by anyway. It was a general agreement of the people at my table; Ktreva would not like me saying I had to go to Carlisle to visit with Cougar and Kitten.

T1G used my other ticket at the game. He appeared to have a lot of fun. Although he did complain that the horn I use to distract the opposing team was loud and annoying. Not just to the team, but to him and the rest of the fans as well. Then he would add on, “but it’s awesome.” Of course at the end of the night my voice was still intact while his was starting to give out. Yea, I might be blowing a loud and annoying horn, but he was screaming his fool head off. Although our chanting to the opposing team players they suck was amusing. We did have to give one of them props though, we singled him out and he just waved and said, “Yeah, baby!”

All in all, it was a great time. Now we just need to not lose in the playoffs.