Miasmatic Review

Raptors last stand.

Tonight is the Rock River Raptors last regular season home game. It’s a must win for us. We have two games and a by week left in regular season. Currently we are sitting atop of the division with a 9-4 record, but River City is right behind us with a 7-5 record and Lexington a 7-6 record. Tonight we play Lexington. If we win tonight we pretty much clinch the division. If we lose, then we have to beat Sioux Falls next week at home in hopes of winning the division. The problem is that Sioux Falls is on a 32 game wining streak and sitting atop the other division.

That means that tonight’s game should be a good hard-hitting game. So any of you football fans out there want to go have some fun, tonight at the MetroCentre is your chance.

I’m not saying that the Raptors and their organization listen to me or that I have any influence with them. But I do think they like fans like Bruce and myself. We really get the crowd involved. So occasionally they like to throw a little something back our way. Like last week. During half time the Dynomites did a zombie themed dance routine to Michael Jackson’s Thriller.

Football and zombies, how perfect is that?

Geekbell

Now this is a doorbell! Over at ThinkGeek they have a USB doorbell.

The USB Doorbell replaces your current chime and allows you to play your favorite sound effects, music, audio clips, movie quotes or whatever strikes your fancy. Anytime someone presses that little button by your front door the USB Doorbell will "ring" using the sound you have selected. It first connects to your computer via USB (cable included) and will store any up-to-thirty second WAV or MP3 soundclip that you wish to use.

According to the article it works with standard low voltage doorbell systems, so it doesn’t look like it would take a lot of tinkering. Here is a clip of it working in all of it’s geeky action.

Yea, I may have to get one of these.

Why would anyone do this?

This video is a little dark, but it sends an important message for this upcoming Fourth of July. It doesn’t matter how much you drink, it doesn’t matter how much you want to fit in, it doesn’t matter how big of an idiot you are. Never, ever let someone launch a bottle rocket from your arse! This clip is NSFW, you have a partial of a girls butt and the language is a little on the harsh side.

Perfectly Aligned.

It’s amazing, you can find that perfect someone for you. That person that you know you could spend the rest of your life with. One that would completely make you happy in every way. But there’s just one thing that screws up the entire relationship. .

Should I throw a party?

It appears that sometime over the weekend I’m going to break the 100,000 visitor mark. Chances are that it’s going to be some Internet searcher looking for sensitivity class.

Speaking of which, my next sensitivity class is July 24, 25, and 26 in Chicago. They finally got around to sending me to one from this incident. Anyone want to hook up for dinner one of those nights?

Being a bad dad again.

It was almost two years ago exactly that I showed you how bad of a dad I can be. That was when I started Clone on his stirring his drink habit. It’s funny; to this day he wants ice in his drink and a straw with which to stir it. Well apparently other habits of mine he’s picked up. You may have noticed that I tend to sample beers every now and then. It’s purely for the education of you, my dear readers.

In the sampling of the beers, I have a certain ritual I go through. First I pour the beer into a glass. Holding it up to the light I can judge color, clarity and head. Then I smell the beer. A couple of long, slow inhalations through the nose gives me a thorough appreciation of the aroma. Finally I take the first drink. Clone has seen me do this at least once a week for almost a year now.

A couple of months ago he started asking me if he could smell the beer. I’d take a whiff and then he’d say, “Dad, I wanna sniff it!” So I’d let him take a quick sniff just to see what he would say. Usually he says it smells good and that when he gets older he can drink it with me. So it shouldn’t surprise me that last Wednesday when I was doing my review, I had to set my beer down to grab a pencil and paper to jot down notes. When I turned around, guess what I saw? That’s right:

Fortunately for me, I had just finished downloading some pictures from an employee’s baby shower on to the computer. My camera was sitting there, ready to go so I quickly picked it up and tried to catch in the act. Unfortunately he was backing away when I snapped the picture. It was hilarious. He had his nose right to the rim of the glass with his hand fanning the scent toward his face. His eyes were closed as he inhaled deeply.

Then he smiled.

I am such a bad influence.

Bradley University Situation update.

Just a quick update on the Ex-Military not welcome at Bradley University. Unfortunately for me, Troy has gone on vacation and isn’t due back for a while. Thus I can’t get the name of the person who spoke with or the phone number he called to see if I could talk to someone there about the situation. At this time no one has responded to my original inquiry to Bradley’s undergraduate admissions using the contact page on their website. At this time I have not received a response back.

HOWEVER! I did get a comment in the original post from Tom Richmond Director of Admissions Marketing and Communications at Bradley. He states:

I work in the Office of Undergraduate Admissions at Bradley Univeristy and I am glad to comment on this posting.

While I can not talk about individual applicants, I can comment on our admissions policies.

Admissions decisions are based upon a professional review of a complete student record with the intent to determine whether a student can succeed at the univeristy. Most of this decision is based upon the review of the student's academic record.

A variety of other factors are considered to help learn about a student's motivation, social skills, time management skills, goals, and a variety of important intangibles that can lead to college success.

Military service is one intangible that will never be looked down upon at Bradley Univeristy. In fact, service to our country is considered an assett in the application process and recent military veterans have been admitted.

I'm glad to take this opportunity to help clear up any misunderstandings.
We welcome applications from anyone who feels they might benefit from the Bradley experience.

He also sent me an e-mail via the account I use on here. Not the one I sent the original inquiry on. I wanted to make sure my spam filter didn’t eat the response. Now I responded to Tom and explained that Troy and his mother are not the types that make up stories or are prone to lying. In fact I’d have to say they pretty much are some of the most honest folk I know. Good stock in that family if you ask me. Since I am an objective individual, I’m willing to concede that possibly there was a miscommunication or that someone in that office blurted out the first thing that came across their mind in a stressful situation. I just don’t know yet. Until I can get the information from Troy, I’m kind of stuck in a holding pattern.

A couple of commenters did pose questions to Tom, and I forwarded them on to him. From Laughing Wolf:

Quick question Tom: If what you say is true, then how do you respond to the following quote from someone in admissions: “Because you were in the military, you won’t fit in here.” This would seem to directly contravene what you say, so which is it? No spin, straight answer.

And from H~, which if I am not mistaken is Hubba Mother of Boudicca.

Tom, I do believe the intangibles mentioned "A variety of other factors are considered to help learn about a student's motivation, social skills, time management skills, goals, and a variety of important intangibles that can lead to college success." is learned better by serving in the military than any college campus.

Excluding those factors this young man is left to rely on his grades for admission. As you are well aware when people mature they become better students. My guess is he's matured more than most of your students in the same age bracket, but I don't know the man only his willingness to serve our country. I applaud your university for admitting those who make it possible for us to continue opening educational opportunities for all.

You mentioned you have admitted veterans recently. Do you know the percentage of veterans currently accepted to those denied admission?
In advance, thank you for the follow-up.

I’ve forwarded both along to him just in case he doesn’t go back and read the original comments… or that comment spammers get so bad I have to shut it down and he can’t respond.

Robert the Bruce Scottish Ale.

Ktreva is really becoming an enabler with this whole beer-tasting thing. She again picked out tonight’s brew o’ samplin’. This is becoming a weekly ritual. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t mind it at all. What’s better than a beautiful woman bringing you beer? This week she picked out Robert he Bruce Scottish Style Ale by Three Floyds of Munster, IN. I believe this is the first Indiana beer I’ve reviewed.

It comes in your standard 12 oz brown bottle. The label is yellow that has a cartoonish picture of what I suppose is Robert the Bruce. In the oval around the picture you have the name of the beer in the top half, and the name of the brewery in the bottom. It also has the tag line, “It’s not normal”. To be honest the smile on Robert in the picture is kind of scary and if I had to look at it all the time, I think I would get creeped out.

It has a nice dark brown color to it. Light barely paces through, and it’s hard to tell if there is any cloudiness to it or not. There was a very thin tan head when poured. It quickly faded into a fine film on the top of the beer and a slight ring around the edge of the glass. There is some lacing, but not much.

The scent is of roasted caramel malts. There are other malts that act as subtle undertones, but nothing distinct. We also have a nice touch of wood smoke to the scent that really brings the smell dancing into the nose. There is a nice richly roasted caramel malt flavor to this beer. The malts are primarily what you taste. It has a nice hop accent to it. The after taste is slightly bitter, and fades quickly leaving you to want to drink more.

This is a nice medium bodied beer with a creamy feel to it. It coats the mouth and throat that is rather pleasant.

This is a very nice beer. It reminds me a lot of the Scotch Ale at Carlisle Brewery here in Rockford, only not as flavorful. I really found myself liking this one a lot. Considering it’s 6.4% by volume I’m surprised that it drinks as easily as it does. Overall I like this beer. I’m giving this one 6.5 out of 10.

Now she knows.

You may find this hard to believe, but I really am a man of few words. Few complimentary words that is. I have a hard time telling people how good they are at different things. Which makes my management style in our office completely different from everyone else’s. Sure I tell my people when they do a good job, and give them a pat on the back. But I don’t stroke their egos for doing the job that is expected.

It’s time for the annual reviews in my office and if you recall I worked from home last Wednesday to get them finished. Not that mine were long, maybe a paragraph or two. It’s just that I have a hard time coming up with long worded complimentary statements. I also don’t like getting long ones. In fact I generally like them to just tell me what I do wrong and let me fix it. If you like what I do, show me were it counts.

And that’s exactly what I did. After a year and a half of having direct reports, this is the first time any of them are getting a review solely based on my observations. Thus it’s easier for me to actually rate, appraise and praise them. Tonight I gave my first employee their annual review and showed them the dollar amount of the raise they were getting. After going over the appraisal and rating they read the brief couple of paragraphs I wrote about them. Then I said, “I’m not good with telling people how much I appreciate them, I’d much rather show them.” I slid the paperwork for their raise across the table. Her hands covered her mouth while she started to cry in happiness. I know that the message came across loud and clear. They did a good job and I appreciate all they do for the company.

I’m actually looking forward to giving the rest of my employees their reviews.

Presents

Ktreva's Birthday is coming up soon, so I thought she's been a good wife. I should get her something special. Today on lunch we went and picked out her present. But I can't let you know yet... it's a surprise.

Ex-Military not welcome at Bradley University.

One of my employees came up to me today and told me a story that literally knocked the words right out of me. Some of you may remember that two years ago I was trying to raise money for some troops going back to Iraq. Which, we did do a great job and they appreciated all of it. The story she told me regarded her son Troy (the solder pictured in the original post), who is now discharged from the military. He is trying to get into college and one of the universities he attempted to get into is Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois.

He received a rejection letter from the university, but it didn’t tell him why. Being curious he called the admissions office and when asked why he wasn’t accepted they told him, “Because you served in the Military.”

(Waits for readers to pick their jaws up off the ground or to stop swearing)

Yea, I had the same reaction. Now I thought… maybe, maybe she was reading more into it. So I questioned her.

Did the letter say he was denied due to being in the military: No.

The lady he spoke with actually said, “You were denied because you were in the military”: Almost.

What did she say? Troy asked why didn’t I get accepted, the admissions officer said, “Because you were in the military, you won’t fit in here.”

Even though I was at work in front of all my direct reports I dropped the F-bomb.

I asked her for the phone number and the name of the lady Troy spoke with. I would like to call them and find out exactly what is going on there. Do they really deny ex-military personal from attending their private university? (Being a private university I’m pretty sure they legally can do this.) And if they do is it really because they don’t feel they would fit in?

This would piss me off if it happened to any soldier. But when it’s not only the son of one of my wife’s friends but an employee of mine AND someone that I went out of the way to help previously. Yea, I’m more then a little pissed off. Troy spent two tours in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. One of his tours was 30 months, to state the obvious that is two and a half years! He worked hard, fought for us and comes back to the states to have some uppity higher education admin twit tell him no because he was in the military… yea not while I take breath.

Once I get the information I’m contacting the university and seeing what I can find out. And if I need, I’m going to drive down there and let them know face to face how I feel.

Not today, not ever!

UPDATE: I couldn't wait for the number so I e-mailed their admissions office inquiring about their policy. It will be at least a couple of days before I get a response... if they respond.

At least it's not NC-17.

Mingle² - Online Dating

Honestly I thought I would be PG-13 or something. Apparently talk about zombies, my sexy wife, Deadlines and dead space on photos(the word dead) and Torture makes me "R" rated.

I found this over at One Happy Dog Speaks, VW is PG, she may not want to associate with such a racy blog as mine.

Vector TD

If you have some time to kill, and want a little fun, here is another Tower Defense style game called Vector. You have multiple towers to choose from, and different paths. So far it’s been pretty easy, but I can see where some of these would be pretty difficult.

I'd like to see this in a concert.

Not in a million years did I think that a Tesla Coil could be a musical instrument. That is until I saw this clip. They played some video game theme music from Super Mario Brothers and Tetris. So all of us old Nintendo geeks should recognize at least those parts. A U of I Urbana-Champaign student Steve Ward built the coil.

According to the blurb with the video:

So just to explain a little further, yes, it is the actual high voltage sparks that are making the noise. Every cycle of the music is a burst of sparks at 41 KHz, triggered by digital circuitry at the end of a "long" piece of fiber optics.

What's not immediately obvious in this video is how loud this is. Many people were covering their ears, dogs were barking. In the sections where the crowd is cheering and the coils is starting and stopping, you can hear the the crowd is drowned out by the coil when it's firing.

The Farce is Strong with This One.

I generally don’t watch cartoons. But a friend of mine sent me this link saying I need to watch this video. He thought that my Star Wars geekdom would appreciate the clip. He was right. It’s a 25-minute clip of the Robot Chicken Star Wars Special. If you like Star Wars, it’s worth the watch. They really do a great job of parodying Star Wars. I love their take on some of the “off screen” interactions of characters from the movie.

I know one of these girls.

As many of you know I’m an avid Hooters fan. T1G and I tend to hit the local one on a regular basis, when he’s in town. Now, before I start hearing I go for the girls. Honestly, we don’t. I really like their wings, T1G is more of a buffalo shrimp fan. If I wanted to go see scantily clad pretty girls, I could go to other places that tend to have better looking girls wearing a hell of a lot less. With that being said, here’s a montage of Hooter’s girls done to the Bob River’s Song “Little hooters Girl”, a spoof of “Little Drummer Boy”

Jabbah over at I Hate My Cubicle (NSFW) found this little treasure.

Even funnier is that at 41 seconds, I believe that girl works/worked at the local Hooters.

Over the last month I had been talking about bar-b-que at work. Either it was good bar-b-que I had eaten or stuff that I had made. When I was talking about some smoked sausages I made last week, a couple of my employees asked me when I was going to “shut up or put up” meaning, when was I going to stop talking about how good it was and let them sample what I was talking about. The problem is that it’s time intensive and hard to bring to work. That is until today.

We had a baby shower for one of my employees. To go with the baby shower we decided to have a potluck. Anyone that has ever worked or works for my company knows that they will have a potluck any chance they get. “Look it’s going to rain next week, we should have a potluck”. Anyway, since this was for an actual good reason I thought I could take the time to make a nice bar-b-que treat for all of them. Wednesday, while working from home, I made smoked sausages between reviews. Once they had smoked for a good 4 hours, I coated each link in sauce and let it crisp.

Last night after the sausages cooled, I sliced them into bite size bits and put the remainder of the sauce on them. Then over a low heat in the oven this morning I re-heated them. I didn’t make a lot, just because it was kind of expensive and they were spicy. At work I placed them on the table, with a warning label, so that no one got a heated surprise.

The best was when my employee that had been the most vocal about my bringing these sausages in actually tried one; she about coughed up a lung. I told her repeatedly they were spicy. But she didn’t listen. She took one of the chunks popped it into her mouth and started eating. Her eyes started watering and she started coughing and gasping for air. I about fell over in laughter. But her review of them was what I was hoping for. “They taste really good…” Then she added, “But they are too spicy for me.” Not everyone felt the same way. A lot of people really liked them; they ate most of the bowl. Everyone that liked it stated it would taste better on bread.

For too many of the people I had made them way to spicy. Even one lady that I work with that loves hot and spicy food thought it was a little excessive. But she made the observation that “It’s not spicy hot just to be hot. It’s hot because the flavor dictates it needs to be hot.” Which she translated into IE if you made them any milder you would throw off the flavor combination that made them so good.

Hell, I’m happy with that.

Disaster averted

That was a close one. While on my way to work Monday, we heard news of a drought in Tennessee and the effect it was having on the state. But the blurb in the story that literally scared me speechless was when the announcer says, “This is also impacting the Jack Daniel’s Distillery. All of their water comes from one spring and it is starting to dry up.” According to Ktreva I actually gasped in horror.

When we took the tour of the distillery last summer the guide told us that all of their water comes from the spring on the property. It’s naturally filtered and has no iron in it at all. Then he explained that if the spring ever dried up, they would quit making Jack Daniel’s because they haven’t been able to find another water source that meets their standards. It was at this time that myself and three other gentlemen in the crowd made the comment, “God help us if that ever happens”.

On that morning when the news came across saying that the spring is drying up, I was sure that was a sign of the apocalypse. But leave it to good ol’ Jimmy Bedford (Master Distiller for Jack Daniel’s) and crew, they sent out an e-mail to all of us loyal drinkers (Please don’t ask why they sent me one, the story is kind of embarrassing)

Dear Friend of Jack Daniel's, You may have seen or heard reports about how the drought in Tennessee is affecting production at the Jack Daniel Distillery. Well, we wanted to take time to write and remind you of the old adage, "Don't believe everything you read or hear!"

While it's true Tennessee and other Southeastern states are experiencing a pretty severe drought this spring and summer, we can assure you that we have plenty of water from our Distillery's cave spring to make our Tennessee Whiskey. The water level may be down somewhat, as it typically is during the summer months, but it's currently flowing above what we need for whiskey-making.

We have been making Jack Daniel's with water from this cave spring for more than 140 years and have never had a water shortage. That's not to say we're not taking conservation measures. We are using the cave spring water to make Jack Daniel's, as we always have, but we've cut back on using it for any other secondary purposes, such as cooling or cleaning. That's just being responsible and respectful of the resources that make Jack Daniel's so unique — the cave spring water, charcoal-mellowing, charred white oak barrels, fine grains, and the seasonal changes that Mother Nature offers us in the Tennessee hills.

In addition, our warehouses are filled with barrels upon barrels of Jack Daniel's going through the maturation process. When the whiskey from these barrels reaches full maturity, we'll pull those barrels and bottle the whiskey the same as we always do. In other words, your favorite retailers and bars will continue to have plenty of our Tennessee Whiskey on hand.

If you've been concerned about the various media reports, we hope we've put your mind at ease. And if you hear your friends talking about this, please let them know we're continuing to make Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey and, as Mr. Jack said many years ago, "Every day we make it, we'll make it the best we can."

Your friends at Jack Daniel's

Emphasis mine

Thank you my friends at Jack Daniel’s for updating me on the situation. We are all going to rest easy now knowing this. Trust me, I am going to sleep a lot better now knowing I don’t have to horde those 4 bottles I have stashed in the basement.

Sweaty Betty Blonde

Yesterday at the store, Ktreva joined me on my weekly trip to pick out a beer. Normally she doesn’t come with, but after talking about how they had expanded their beer selection she wanted to see. Now my fine contaminants it should be a testimony to the expansion of the beer aisle when I say that even Ktreva was taken back by the new size and selection, almost doubled! Since she was with me, I let her pick out the beer. Well actually it was because she looked really good in her tight pants and I was really distracted. She suggested numerous beers, but she really was pushing tonight’s beer on me. The name of it made her think I should try it. So because of darling Ktreva, I will be reviewing Sweaty Betty Blonde by Boulder Beer Company of Boulder, CO. (I just want to point out that the other six-pack she bought that day was Dirty Bastard. What a combination that is.) I don’t know if she thought I’d like it, or just really wanted me to have a Sweaty Betty in my mouth. As long as Betty makes me happy, it’s all good.

We have our standard 12 oz Brown bottle. With a bright yellow label. There is an anime looking blue eyed, blonde haired girl on the front with the name of the beer in blue over it. There is a lot of information on the label about the beer, but the opening paragraph (yes paragraph) starts with, “Irresistible, flirtatious, aromatic, soft, supple, unavoidable, smooth, exuberant, glistening, wild, firm, rare, succulent, luscious, ripe, natural, glowing, curvaceous, magical, wheat… and the 5th release in our looking glass series of beers.” Well if they are describing a beer, I’m kind of worried. If they are describing a woman named Betty they know… ummm I’m not sure about the wheat part, but the rest has my attention.

It has a weak pour. There was almost no head and no lacing on the glass. What head there was faded really quickly leaving nothing at the top of the beer. Needless to say Betty doesn’t give good head. (Sorry, there went my PG rating.) It is very pale yellow in color, and there is some cloudiness to it, which is typical of wheat beers.

The aroma is an overpowering combination of wheat and yeast. There are some spice undertones, but it’s hard to discern what they are. Like the scent, the taste is mainly wheat and yeast. There is a citric accent to it, maybe lemon. Again it’s hard to get past the wheat and yeast flavor.

This is a light bodied beer. There is a crispness to it that is pleasant. The carbonation was a bit strong, but not unpleasantly so. It’s also a little on the dry side.

This isn’t a bad beer. Like most wheat beers they do tend to lack a little something. At least this wheat beer didn’t make me think of cereal while I drank it. I’m going to give this a 4.5 out of 10.

I wonder.

If you are working from home, you are technically on the clock. That means you really should abide by company policy and rules. But I'm wondering...

Is it okay to have a beer or two with lunch?

I mean no one will know unless my manager happens to stop by the house.

Something Different

I have to do my annual review of my employees. Since it is something that needs a relative amount of privacy so others can't see what I'm writing about an individual, my company allows us to work from home for one day.

Today is my day.

It is a happy day.

I'll have my notification on all day in case I receive an e-mail. That's how I told my work to get a hold of me.

Update 11:23 AM: Holy cow! I'm about 3/4 the way done! this really is more efficient then doing it at work. I'm not constantly being interrupted. I'm going to go take a lunch break now.

So this is love...

More proof that my wife loves me. My wife bought me a six-pack of Dirty Bastard Scotch Style Ale. There was no special occasion. I didn’t do anything to deserve it, in fact quite the opposite. She just did it because she wanted to. Knowing that I really like this beer, she saw a six-pack of it and bought it… for me.

Now if you’ll excuse me. I’m getting a little emotional over the gift.

Illogical.

There are some things that one just isn’t meant to understand. The meaning of life, what happens to socks in the dryer, why people in small vehicles like to pull out in front of my truck while I’m doing 55 MPH. I’ve just come to the conclusion that these things are just not meant for me to understand. These last couple of weeks at work, I’ve added yet another thing to that list.

Why is there no logic to the decisions made by my peers and superiors?

Example. Last week I had 6 projects that had to be done by end of business Friday. One of them I had known about since the end of May, but due to the availability of certain data, I could not get started on it until Monday. On Tuesday they sent me to another office on business, effectively taking away 20% of my work time. After busting hump all week it looked like I was going to finish all 6 projects by the end of business on Friday. Then at 11:00AM on Friday I get hit with, “Contagion, I have a project I need you to handle.” After some prodding and asking, it too had to be done by the end of the day. After going over my list of other projects and the precarious deadline for them as well. I was told that THIS project takes precedence. Then I explained that according to other management my other projects take precedence… and to be honest the one that directly affected my employees was the one that I was going to finish first.

And before I could think I asked, “If it’s so important, why are you waiting until 11:00 AM on Friday to give it to me.” The response was that they had given it to someone else two weeks ago, but they didn’t have access to the right reports in order to get it done today. Okay… well fine but the reports they don’t have access to, neither do I. So it was “Okay, what’s the soonest you can get access?” Monday at the earliest, probably Wednesday was my best guess. Now, the logic of everything else that led up to this is escaping me and the more I learned the more confused I became. But it was after telling them Wednesday would be the most likely time to get the access when I’m told. “Well do it right away, we need you to get these reports done.” That I had the revelation that I will never, ever in my lifetime be able to understand how my superiors and peers come to the decisions they make.

See the reason I wasn’t originally given the project was because I already have a heavier work load then my peers. My peer that was given the original project sat on it for a week before saying she didn’t have access. Instead of giving it to me right away or trying to get her access, they waited until Friday to throw it on my load. Then when I didn’t have access, I needed to get it right away so that I could do the project late. Why not have the original person that screwed up request the access that day? Maybe they should have given it to me right away so I could have tried to squeeze it in. Of course they could have given it back to the original person and told them to get the access so they could do it late.

The sad thing is that if they were trying to do something to make me look bad, this doesn’t work. I’ve got all the documentation that they waited until late in the day to give it to me and that I didn’t have access. All out of my control, so I’m not worried about it. My work philosophy plays in well with this situation.

A bad decision by you does not make an emergency for me.

Football and Phones.

What a wild and fun weekend for me. First off I would like to take this time to apologize to anyone that received a phone call from me between the hours of 8:00PM and 2:00AM CST. If you couldn’t tell, I was not quite functioning at full mental capacity. I really lost count of how much I had drank early on in the night. I don’t blame anyone else for my actions; it was completely my own fault. Next time I need to remember to not listen to T1G when he states that I need to “keep up with him” and that “I’m one behind.” So yes, I am truly sorry. We are going to invest in a drunk phone for me next time. The one that has the built in Breathalyzer so that you can’t drunken dial.

Other then that, Friday night was a blast. After work Ktreva and I went to the Rock River Raptor’s Season ticket holders party. I know they tried, but the party was pretty dead. Almost no one showed up other then the players and people associated with the organization. It was held outside in the heat… and they only served Bud, Bud Light and Corona. BLECH! We hung around for a while, but when we saw the party wasn’t going to get any better we left. Since we had a babysitter for the night, Ktreva didn’t want to go home. She wanted to hit the town. The problem was we couldn’t agree on were to go. She wanted to hit a bar. The problem was finding a bar that I would be comfortable in, but would also take my wife to. Most of the bars I tend to like are a little on the rougher side. Thus we ended up at Fritz’. Now I wasn’t positive T1G was going to be there, but well… yea I was pretty sure. Ktreva made the comment. “Great you guys are going to be talking all night and ignoring me.” I told her to call Tammi and tell her to come down. At this point she says, “I don’t have my phone.” FINE! So I call Tammi for her. And of course upon answering the phone I’m accused of drunk dialing. I explain the situation, and Tammi agrees to head down there as well. Flash-forward to a night filled with Day-glo green drinks, Tabasco in beer, and my ultimately delving into drunk dialing.

Saturday night I went with Bruce and our friend KF on the Rock River Raptor bus trip to Bloomington. Folks, this was well worth the price of the ticket. On the bus they supplied sandwiches, chips and fee beer and water. However the beer was Bud and Bud Light. Now I can’t fault them the beer. The local Bud distributor sponsors them, and apparently they are very generous. That’s okay; Bruce and I brought our own beer. For the bus trip I’m going to give some high lights.

-Bloomington’s stadium is awesome. They have a really nice set up with corporate sponsors. They have a Leinie Lodge, a Jack Daniel’s VIP section as well as a corporation that bought the rights to the stadium. There is an in stadium pro-shop and a jumbotron with instant replay. Their concessions were better quality and at about the same price range. Their seats have cup holders… NO SPILLED BEERS!

-Apparently when I get upset and am drinking I swear. Also apparently if I do this with Bruce around the angry parents of little kids will blame him.

-On road trips I do become “That Fan”. You know, the one that is really loud and cheering his team on, even after getting threatening looks from the home team fans. Either that or Bruce was swearing again.

-The best part about our seats was the fact that we were sitting with some of the player’s families. Blue Aldridge’s uncle was right behind us and he was just as fevered about the game as we were.

-The Raptors won by a point. Yes one point, which made this a very exciting and good game. Of course a missed PAT and short field goal doesn’t help. (I’m watching the placeholder for the next couple of games.

-Tom Crow, the Raptors GM, seems to be an actual nice guy. I’ve spoken with him on a couple occasions. He rode on the bus back from the game with us. We got to spend some time talking to him, and shooting off some ideas and what not. He seemed to take everything we said into consideration. Not that I actually expect him to listen to us, but he was cool about it. Especially since I kept calling him Tim. For the love of me I don’t know why I couldn’t get his name right. I actually started calling him Tim-Tom at one point as I tried to correct myself. He didn’t blow us off. During the ride back, I got a little hungry and Bruce grabbed the three remaining bags of Cheetos from the back of the bus. At that point Bruce kept calling me Cheeto and saying, “Good times Cheeto.” Tom Updates the Raptors site and in his brief post, Raptors Defeat Extreme he ends it with, “Also, a big “Thank You” goes out to our first official Fan Bus Trip of the season… Good Times Cheeto…” I'd like to the post itself, but the way the site is set up, I can't.

-I guess I should mention that my sister lives down there and is a Bloomington Extreme (yes, their team name sucks… extremely) fan. So I was able to see her. And harass her about the guy she brought with… and rub it in after the game that we won…

All in all it was a great time. For those of you that missed it, you missed a lot of fun. Just remember the next time they do a bus trip, you might want to jump on and just enjoy life a little more.

Go figure.

Your Personality Is Like Alcohol

You're the life of the party, a total flirt, and probably a pretty big jokester. Sometimes your behavior gets you in trouble, but you still remain socially acceptable. You're a pretty bad driver, and you're dancing could also use a little work!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

Yea, not really surprised. I guess you are what you drink.

FIRED!

Here is a good reason to not mix love and work. IE don’t try to find that special someone in the work place. Bad things can happen. There is some harsh language.

All you need is salt.

Need to get something cold really fast? Just add salt! No seriously.

This isn’t anything new. I’ve known about this one since college. This knowledge was passed down to some friends and myself by a senior my freshman year. He said, “Dude, if you have to cool a keg really fast, through it in a garbage can filled with ice. Add a lot of salt and stir. It’ll be ice cold in about 10 minutes” He wasn’t lying. I’ve done this numerous times with cans, bottles and kegs.

I’ve gone to parties where it’s bring your own beer. Unfortunately the store I went to didn’t have the beer I wanted cold. No problem, but the beer, ice and salt container… VIOLA! Cold beer. Don’t believe me. See this video and try it yourself.

Midget Wrestling

In April I went to see some Midget Kick Boxing, which was pretty damn cool. Now today I find on the Internet Midget wrestling in a cage.

You have to love the little folk!

It's like banning art.

This morning I turned on the radio and they were talking about the town of Dalcambre, LA wants to ban baggy pants.

The ordinance states, "It shall be unlawful for any person in any public place or in view of the public to be found in a state of nudity, or partial nudity, or in dress not becoming to his or her sex, or in any indecent exposure of his or her person or undergarments, or be guilty of any indecent or lewd behavior."

So in other words those kids that are walking around with their pants around their knees would get slapped with:

The new indecent exposure ordinance in this Cajun-country town of about 2,000 carries penalties of up to six months in jail and a $500 fine for being caught in pants that show undergarments or, in the mayor's phrase, "private parts."

Yea, $500.00 and up to 6 months in jail, that’s just insane! But that’s not what has me posting about this. Sure this is politically correct BS beyond all reason. Don’t believe me, see what the mayor says:

The law applies to women as well as men, the mayor said Wednesday. "If you expose some of your privates, the crack of your behind, if somebody feels insulted they should press charges. If you're offended by it, we want to straighten that out."

Yea, if you’re offended by someone’s dress, you should press charges. Folks, I’d love to be the police officer that has to take that report. Little Old lady: “Officer, I’m offended by that guy's pants! I can see the top of his underwear when he bent over!” Officer, “Ma’am, are you farooking insane? He’s your plumber, he bent over to fix your pipes!” The whole thing is stupid and really, hard to enforce.

But what really has me about the whole thing is:

The law applies to women as well as men,

Wha-wha-wha-what?!?!?!?!?! C’mon Let the lady’s go. Sure I think they wear their pants way to low, I really don’t need to see that they are wearing their Monday thong on Thursday. Also I think it throws off the natural shape of a woman, but I digress. There are some upsides… like the hot 20+ year old girls wearing the micro mini’s bending over to pick something up. Or the sexy woman wearing the ultra tight jogging outfit running to keep in shape so her husband won’t look at the 20+ year old girls wearing the micro mini skirts. Personally, I like the older ones. I think the look of a mature woman is sexier then a younger baby-fat in the cheek girl. Also the women tend to be more… fun. If you know what I mean.

I can understand no one wanting to see a man’s hair arse. But why would you want to take away the joy and beauty that is a finely shaped female hiney? WHY?!?!?!?!

It’s just wrong!

So what do you think, should they make the ban for both men and women... or just men! You know where my vote is!

We are go for Ogfest!

It’s a good day for me.

First I find out that the Raptor’s Bus Trip is a go! That means Saturday night I’ll be terrorizing Bloomington Illinois with my loud drunken self! (Does happy football dance)

Secondly, I’m going to OgFest. I found someone to watch the boy and made my reservations with the Tammi lady. One room, double occupancy… Just don’t tell Ktreva, she’s watching the boy!

Edmund Fitzgerald Porter

Monday this week I stopped in a local grocery store on lunch just to look for a beer. They had greatly expanded their beer selection, I mean by almost double. I stood there in stunned awe for a good 10 minutes. As I looked at the 50 new beers I wanted to try, I’m not kidding, a brand stuck out, Great Lakes Brewing Company. Mainly because each of their beers are named for historical figures or events on the Great Lakes, such as Elliot Ness, the Voyagers, the burning river and the beer I choose, The Edmund Fitzgerald. The Fitz was a freighter that sank on Lake Superior November 10, 1975 with a loss of all 29 crew. It was later immortalized in Goron Lightfoot’s song “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.”

She comes in a standard brown 12 oz bottle. The label is black with a picture of the Edmund Fitzgerald sailing in a storm. The name of the brewing company takes the top of the label, with the name of the beer underneath the picture. There is a story on the side, “Named after the ship that frequently docked in Cleveland and sunk in Lake Superior in 1975, this porter combines a complex, roasty aroma with a bittersweet, chocolate-coffee taste. In keeping with the Vavarion purity law of 1516, this beer is traditionally brewed from all natural ingredients: Barley, hops, yeast and water. “ It also advises that it’s 5.8% alcohol by volume. (oh yeah!)

When poured into a glass, it almost looks like a stout. The color is rich and dark like black coffee. There is a slight red hue to it. It poured a quarter inch tan head that faded into a nice film. There was some lacing on the glass even after it was finished.

This porter had a very distinct aroma to it. A strong scent of chocolate and coffee mixed with the roasted malts and nuts. There was a slight floral hop scent as an accent. When I say this smelled like chocolate and coffee, I mean actual chocolate and coffee and not chocolate and coffee malts. There is a difference. The flavor was of coffee with a good malt backbone and hops for a nice bitterness. It really did taste like coffee flavored beer. Real rich and flavorful, excellent!

It had a nice light and creamy mouth feel to it. It’s not thick like a stout, but slightly thicker then your average porter. It’s very easy to drink. Just remember, this is a porter and not a stout. If you are in the wrong mindset you’ll find yourself wanting a stout.

I really liked this beer. This is one I could see buying for a possible beer tasting coming up. Overall I give it 6.5 out of 10.

OH, btw, enjoy the song.

It's the end of the world as we know it.

Why didn’t any one tell me? I mean I’m on all the mailers, the distribution lists and all the alert services. In fact I’m part of The Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency (FVZA). Yet, it took the diligence of CalTechGirl to advise me that today is Zombie Uprising day.

Well, since I found out late in the day I can’t post like the whole world is being over run by zombies, but I can share this video that Ktreva showed me. Yes, Ktreva showed me this one.

Folks, I think this again is a warning about what happens if you try to domesticate the zombie. It’s just not a good idea.

Speed, I am speed!

I have a quick poll for everyone tonight. On my way to my “meeting” today, I was cruising at an above the posted limit rate of speed. Some of the people in the car thought I was driving way too fast. Me, I was keeping up with the flow of traffic. (I was driving down 39 and 88 heading to Naperville). At some points when there was no traffic, I set my speed at what I felt comfortable driving. Now at some points I was passing others. At other times I had cars passing me like I was standing still… and I wasn’t. This brought up an interesting conversation on the ride home. How fast is too fast?

	How fast is too fast for driving?
	I don't speed.
	0-5 MPH over
	5-10 MPH over
	10-20 MPH over
	20+ over
	I keep up with traffic.
poker

For the record I was doing approximately 8-10 over.

Business Trip

Work is sending me to Naperville, IL this morning. I'm not sure what time this evening I'm going to be back. The reason I'm going to this other office really isn't for fun reasons. Couple that with with the fact that no one really knows what is going to happen should make for a long day. Oh, and probably some extremely unhappy people.

O'well, I guess I'm just doing my job.

So good.

It’s been a long time since I’ve burdened my readers with a problem of mine, but folks… I just need to talk about this. I’m a pretty laid back kind of guy. I tend to go with the flow, instead of making waves. And I don’t obsess over things.* However, of late, I’ve found myself continually obsessing over something.

Bar-B-Que. Yes, I know I have it bad when I want to come home after a long days work and spend 4 hours slow cooking meat over a smoky fire in 87 degree heat. I’ve been bar-b-queing chicken, pork, beef and other assorted meats. Today Ktreva told me she was going to hit the grocery store after work, she wanted to know if there was anything special I wanted her to pick up. Oh god yes, all I wanted was some kind of sausage link or ring. It needed to be slow smoked then slathered in the tangy sauce of the cooking gods. I told her anything other then Bratwursts and I’ll be happy.

I come home and she’s picked up some “spicy stadium sausages”. Well they were bratwursts, but it’s okay. I’ll make do with what I had. After getting the fires stoked, I threw my secret smoking packs onto the heat and let them get nice and hot. A thick smoke covered the neighborhood. Neighbors were coming out of their houses to investigate what the tantalizing scent was… then realized it was me, ran back inside and bolted their doors. Well, except the neighbor guy I actually like. He made a play for the contents of the packs again.

From 4 until 7:00PM I slow cooked those sausages… and just when the smell was about to drive me mad. I gently coated each link with the sauce. For the last couple of minutes the sauce cooked on as a second skin sealing in the wonderful flavor. The sausages were pulled off the heat. Unbeknownst to me, Ktreva had gotten her hands on my mother’s secret potato salad recipe. For those of you that have head it, it’s the original recipe, not the lower fat, calorie one. Ktreva, my darling temptress of the bar-b-que side dish had secretly made my favorite of all side dishes.

Folks, let me tell you. Right now I’m in pure heaven. Unfortunately the sausages Ktreva bought were too spicy for her and the boy, but they were perfect for me. Great flavor and oh so delicious, just the way a good bar-b-que sausage should be. Mixed with the potato salad of the gods… this was a meal to make any man happy.

And yet I sit here wanting. Not more food, cause I’m like an over stuffed tick right now. No, I’m wanting more meat to bar-b-que, to smoke, to grill. I can’t get it out of my mind. The urge, the desire… the NEED. I’m already planning on slow cooking a beef brisket this Sunday. I’m thinking of a special homemade rub that I make to pre-season it. Then as soon as it’s done, I know I’ll be planning the next meat.

I’m like a machine, I just can’t stop. And a lot of this meat is going to waste. As we can’t eat it all and I’m continually making more. It’s going to be a long bar-b-que filled summer. To make matters worse, we’re driving through Kansas City (Hell Hole of the US), one of the four bar-b-que capitols. I may just drown in sauce yet.

*(Scotch, Beer, the female form, re-enacting, Listerine Pocket Paks and zombies are excluded from this statement)

Pop Rock Off.

This was sent to me as a banned pop-rocks commercial. Just watching it you will know it's not an actual commercial, but something that someone made. It's completely NSFW.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

Yesterday I hung out with my buddy Shadoglare and LittleJoe. We spent the day watching a bunch of cheesy movies. Most of them can't even be counted as B movies, as that would be too much of an overstatement. Hey, what can I say, I love cheesy, bad movies. Anyway, one of the movies we watched was Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. This movie was wrong on many different levels, very funny, but wrong. Anyway, here is the dance seen from that movie featuring Jesus and the Jesus Christ Dancers:

It's just too bad that you all missed my interpretation of the dance afterwards. Apparently I permanently mentally scared everyone that saw it.

College Prank.

When I was in college my friends and I had a rule. If you pass out anywhere other then your own room, you were open game to have any numerous pranks pulled on you. This included drawing on the face, shaving of hair (I used to like to shave one eyebrow or half of the facial hair off.) and putting them in funny poses for pictures, usually vulgar.

These guys went to a level that I just never thought of.

Of course it was incredibly dangerous... but it's still funny.

Both suck.

I heard an interesting argument on the radio the other day and I had been mulling it over ever since. They were discussing which presidency was better Clinton or Bush. Of course this turned into a very heated debate. Since this was on talk radio, in general both sides argued their points honorably and fairly. Yes, there were some that did some name calling and made absurd statements. Ie “God will strike Clinton down” or “Bush is a racist”. I almost called in after one caller made some comments that were utterly stupid.

Since then, I’ve been thinking long and hard about the last 15 years. Which was the better president? After much contemplation I’ve decided that they both pretty much are incompetent, self-absurd, egotistical politicians. That’s right; I’m just going to admit that I don’t like either one. Bush was the lesser of two evils in the last presidential campaign, and even the third party candidates didn’t look good. Clinton as far as I’m concerned did nothing to help strengthen America, only helped to weaken it. Bush’s big folly is the War in Iraq. The whole thing was mismanaged and run as a media campaign. You can’t win a war with a muzzled military, and that is what we have.

America is on the brink of disaster, and we are to blame. Be it The House, The Senate or The Presidency, Politicians are slowly dragging us down. Both Republican and Democrat are eroding away at America. It is a time of mediocre politicians, and an American public’s apathy to accept them. Instead of demanding or putting up stronger candidates, we as the public keep choosing to accept which Politically Correct party line puppets that are put in front of us. Everyone is brainwashed into thinking Democrat and Republican are the only way to vote. But that is an issue for another time.

The joke's on me.

At my place of employment it is pretty common to see candy dishes or bowls set out for people to help themselves to a little treat. Heck, I’m known in the office as the guy that has the good chocolate. (I work mainly with women, having chocolate at my desk keeps them mellower and me saner.) Yesterday was I was walking through my unit just talking to my employees about anything but work; I noticed one of them had a bowl with green, yellow and white Jelly Beans in it. Being as I am a Green Bay Packer fan, I couldn’t help but notice it was their color scheme.

I asked her what was up with the “Packer” themed jelly beans. She advised that they are all flavors she didn’t like out of this bag of jelly beans she had bought. The green was pear, the yellow was lemon and the white was buttered popcorn. I figured I’d try one to see how bad it was. I started with a pear… and about lost my lunch. It was disgusting. They laughed at the face I made while finishing it off.

Opting not to try the yellow since I don’t like lemon, I grabbed a white one. Now, I love popcorn, and these weren’t bad. It didn’t taste exactly like buttered popcorn, but you could get the similarity. Since I liked them, she told me to take all the white ones… and I did. As I walked up and down the rows talking to my people one of them asked me what I was eating. “Its popcorn flavored jelly beans. They’re pretty good”, I tell her. She then asked me were I got them. So I told her that the other employee didn’t like them and gave them to me. She says to me, “Make sure you don’t eat too many, they are sugar free.”

At that point I had already eaten about 30 of the things, and I knew I was in for trouble. I go back to the employee I got them from and confirmed they were indeed sugar free. She even has the bag they came out of. Right on the back it states eating too many can cause “Gastric Distress”. The main sweetening ingredient in sugar-free candy is Maltitol. It’s also used as the active ingredient in laxatives. I had just finished eating a handful of these little gastric bombs. I knew was I going to be in trouble.

My employees are laughing, the one that gave it to me didn’t think to warn me they were sugar-free, and found it even more amusing. After they all had a great laugh, and I explained that I was going to be able to spend some quality time in the bathroom, I went back to my desk. About 45 minutes later I’m doing the duck walk to the bathroom as I feel a tightening in my bowel. This fun lasted for another couple of hours until it was finally out of my system.

Thanks to my employees, I think my colon is the cleanest it’s been in years.

Krusovice Cerne

Last week when Kteva picked out the beer, she bought a second by the same company, but a different style. This week I’ll be reviewing Krusovice Cerne from the Czech Republic.

It also comes in a 1 pint .9 fluid oz brown bottle, with gold foil at the neck. The label black with the name of the beer in a red square. This time I can see the other writing on the label, unfortunately it’s not in English so I have no idea what it says.

It has a nice dark garnet coloring to it. It appears to be clear, but it’s dark enough that you can’t see through to the other side of the glass. Light does pass through, but with some difficulty.

There is a nice scent that reminds me of aged firewood. It’s a combination of roasted nuts with chocolate and coffee malts. The smell is very tantalizing. The flavor is of roasted chocolate malts with a nice hop finish. It’s not too bitter, but enough to enhance the flavor. The aftertaste is pleasant and doesn’t linger.

The body is thin and a bit watery. For as dark as it is, I would have though it would have been a bit thicker or at least leave a nice coating in the mouth. It is also a bit heavy on the carbonation.

The flavor and scent are nice, I could see myself drinking this on a cool spring evening or even late in the fall while sitting on the porch. It’s not too heavy, so it doesn’t sit on the stomach. It’s a 5.5 out of 10.

What day is it?

Just out of curiosity, how many of you remembered that 63 years ago today Allied forces stormed the beaches of Normandy in the D-Day invasion?

To all the men who fought and died at that battle, here's to you!

So far everyone I've asked didn't remember.

UPDATE!

Last weekend we did the Fort Koshkonong Rendezvous. I finally got around to updating The Spoon and Blade. There are a couple of changes.

You can see the review of the event. There are a couple of pictures. Including one of the sexy Ktreva and the boy posing with Seamus.

You can also read the new Campfire Tale called Tam and the Beast about Tam, AKA Sengo, AKA Wes of Bodhran Roll Please. It's all true, I swear by my tattoo!

EVIL!

Tonight I get home with the boys after work. As we were unloading some groceries from the trick three girls came walking down our street. They were all 15-17 years old, wearing tight black jeans, and corsets or mesh shirts you could see their bras through. They were all dressed in typical Goth black and blood red. Their hair had been dyed black with blood red streaks in it. Boopie was staring at them pretty hard.

Not because of what they were wearing or how goofy they looked, it was because they what they were wearing was tight and revealing. It didn’t help that the girls were pretty. I think Boopie’s chin was on his chest and he was about to start drooling. The girls were pretty full of themselves and were strutting their stuff. They were also being your typical Goth girls, you know “look at us, we’re different.” At this point I couldn’t help myself.

As the girls passed in front of my house, I yelled out, “Boopie, don’t look at the girls! They’re EEEEEEEEEEEVIL!” Then I proceeded to keep saying they are evil while and laughing as they walked by. At which point their faces were as red as their hair, they started to hurry up and I they were mouthing stuff off to me. Boopie turned beet red and ran into the house. I turned around to see that my new neighbors were staring at me. I just pointed to the girls and said, “I didn’t want my son looking at the girls. THEY ARE EVIL!”

For the record, that was a triple score. 1 point for embarrassing Boopie, 1 point for pissing off the Goth girls, and 1 point for scaring the new neighbors. It’s a good night.

JST WRNG

Personalized license plates. It’s a trend that is getting more and more prevalent, at least in Illinois. I don’t see anything wrong with them in general; both of my vehicles have personalized plates on them. But I do wonder about what people are having put on them.

First I think there should some truth in advertising. If you have a plate that says “SEKSAY1”, then you damn well better be sexy. When the plate states “BABE 3” you had better either indeed be a babe, meaning your hot, under the age of 1 (although why you’d need to drive at that age is beyond me), or be a talking pig. When I see a plate that says “Too Hot 2” then you better look like some kind of super model, preferably a lingerie model and wearing your work clothes. I’m sure I’m not the only person that sees plates like that and checks out the driver to see if it’s true. I’ve seen these plates all in the last week. Let me just say that I was sorely disappointed by all three.

But that gets to my main point, why would you want to put things on your plates that really don’t shed a good light on you? Again in the last week I’ve seen plates that have said, “SPRFSHL” (Superficial), “AROGANT” (Arrogant), “EGOTIST” (Egotist) and “SELFISH” (Selfish). Yes I know, they were simple to figure out, but I just wanted to make sure you all got the point.

Why would anyone want to advertise these traits? Do they think other people will be in awe of them for being brutally honest? Perhaps they think it makes them cool. I don’t know. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with having any of those on your license plates, but I just don’t get why? It would be like me having the license plate, if I could, ARSHOLE. Sure I advertise it here, but that’s because anyone that comes here knows it. But I don’t need to be driving around with that on my truck. It’ll just single me out to cops and idiot drives.

So what is the weirdest or most misleading license plate you’ve seen?

Rockford AirFest 2007

This past weekend Ktreva and I took Clone to see Rockford AirFest 2007. All last week we could hear the planes arriving and practicing. We could watch them from our front porch. Clone would get so excited he’d run all over the house trying to see them. It took quite a bit of convincing that by the time he could hear the jets, they were already past.

We decided that maybe he’d enjoy getting to see the planes up close. Surprise! We nailed that one on the head. In fact he was so excited with in the first 15 minutes of being there, I think he actually short-circuited his brain. He didn’t know what to point to, where he wanted to go, or anything. He couldn’t even complete a sentence. Here is, I kid you not, an actual transcript.” WOW! Dad look at.. Over there is… Momma! Do you see the.. Dad, that way I want to… Look up there it’s…. Wow! Can we go… DAD!!!!!!” Then I think he had a mental overload as the sound of the Millennium Falcon’s hyperdrive failing came from his head.

When we arrived a squadron of P-51 mustangs were doing a demonstration. At the end of it they flew the missing man formation in honor of all the men and women that have given their lives in the service of our country. Folks, I will honestly admit that not only did I feel a lump in my throat as that formation flew right over my head, but I damn well misted up.

P-51’s in a missing man formation

We spent some time looking for a place to watch the show. We had just finished setting up our chairs when this longhaired hippy came up and started begging for beer. I wasn’t about to give him any since he was already had a beer in each hand. Then I realized that’s no hippy, it’s T1G…. in bad need of a haircut. (Seriously I have a picture for proof). We also bumped into Ragingmom. It was like a mini-ubercool blogmeet.

I brought my camera with to take some pictures. There were some people around me that made the comments “Why bother? All you’re going to get are dots in the sky.” I figured it’s digital. It’s not like I’m out any film. And even if I had been, I still would have tried. Normally I don’t share a lot of my more artsy photos as I take pictures mainly for me, but I really liked some of these photos. I ended up taking 620 pictures. I only wish I had brought the zoom lens with, I figured the wide angle would be better for the ground shots. Since I really didn’t end up taking any, I should have brought the zoom lens. Oh well.. next year. Also I edited the shape of some of the photo's in order to cut out dead space and reduce their size.

Part of the show had a P-51, an F-15 and an F-16 flying in formation together. It was pretty cool to watch these three generations of planes flying together. Watching them though, I could help but to think that the P-51 had to be straining to keep up the speed and that the F-16 looked like it was about to fall out of the sky because it was moving so slow. But it did make for some great viewing.

From top to bottom. P-51 Mustang, F-16 Falcon, F-15 Eagle.

The main attraction this year was the US Navy Blue Angels. This was the first time I actually was able to see them perform. It was truly amazing. At times they looked like they where actually touching each other they where so close. Here are some of my favorite pictures of the Blue Angels in action. Click to enlarge any of the photos.

There is not a larger picture of this one, it flew right over my head.

The leader flipped his plane upside while in formation at 400 MPH

A six-jet formation

Six Jet flyby.

I do have one question for my readers. The US Navy has the Blue Angels, The Air Force has the Thunderbirds (At last years show), The Army has the Golden Knights parachute team (Also at the show this year)… What do the Marines have? Seriously, I’m sure they have something; I’m just not sure what it is.

This is why Illinois wants to raise the driving age.

I saw one of the stupidest driving maneuvers today. I was driving down State St, a six lane primary street in Rockford. Both sides of the road are packed with commercial businesses. Its six lanes because of the amount of traffic that traverses it. The speed limit on the section of the road I was driving down is 45 MPH. Of course being six lanes EVERYONE does at least 50-55 MPH down this stretch. That is unless there is a cop present then, everyone slows down to the speed the cop is going. On most cases the cop is also doing 50-55 mph.

I was stopped at a light when a squad car pulls up next to me. As we sat other cars started to accumulate, which is normal at a stop light. By the time it turned green, there had to be about a dozen cars waiting. Of course we all let the squad take the lead and set the pace. As we were driving along I saw a white Camaro, I’m not sure what year, but it was a newer body style. It raced up to the congestion and started weaving in and out of lanes trying to get through. The driver looked to be a kid in his late teens or early 20s.

Maybe the kid wasn’t paying attention, maybe he just didn’t care, I don’t know why but he squeezed between the squad car and a black SUV in the right lane. The Camaro almost hit both vehicles in the maneuver. Then the kid punched it and took off. Of course the cop flipped on the lights and went after the kid. That is when the kid slammed on his brakes and pulled over.

I’m still trying to figure out what made this kid think that driving recklessly and speeding past a cop was a good idea.

It's really educational.

Everything guys know about women and sex we learned from Pr0n.
Do I even need to say NSFW?

I’m telling you folks, the pr0n industry would not lie to us!

Bomchickawahwah

We’ve all seen the Axe commercials were girls in every ordinary situations all of sudden go a little Pr0n star and start singing Bomchickawahwah. Well here’s one that I haven’t seen, and I doubt you will on TV. Guys, this commercial almost makes me want to go out and buy some just to see what happens. Actually this looks to be a music video by an Axe inspired "band" called the Bom Chicka Wah Wahs. Apparently they are going to start touring soon.

It’d be interesting to see if Ktreva would start doing a “pole” dance on the way to work.

Oh and yea… NSFW.

CILF

There are people that like cartoons, then there are people that LIKE cartoons, and finally we have the people that want to do them.

Warning the subject matter of this clip is for mature audiences as well as the language. So, yea it’s Not Safe For Work. With that enjoy C.I.L.F. (Cartoons I’d Like to F@#k) by Zachariah.

I’m just upset he left Lois from the Family Guy out of it.

Yes, I meant Lois...

Prepare yourselves.

It’s not the effects of global warming increasing severe storms we have to worry about, it’s the thawing of the bloodthirsty possums that is going to undo all of us! For those of you that aren’t aware of what I’m talking about, let me give you some details.

An ancient Breed of Bloodthirsty possums were responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs. I don’t care what they say about an asteroid slamming into the earth or global warming, it was these possums.

When the next ice age came along, the possums went into a deep hibernation. They have been undisturbed for years. Now with global warming, they are waking up.

If you think I’m kidding, just watch this short documentary of an attack on a research station in Alaska.

Strange Museums

Harvey of Bad Example has a post up regarding the Creation Museum and his take on it. Even though he might think it’s unusual, but it’s not as unusual as this list of the 10 Most Bizarre Museums.

I’m thinking as weird as the Creation Museum may be, it’s not going to trump the Penis Museum.

Calling all football fans!

On June 16 the Rock River Raptors play the Bloomington Extreme (Yea, their name sucks). This will be the third time we play the Extreme this season. We have a 1-1 record against them this season with our overtime loss last weekend. This is playing out to be an important game for us to win the division and to be a good close game.

The Raptors are planning a fan bus trip from Rockford to the game. They are charging $50.00 for anyone that wants to go on the bus. The price includes a round trip bus ticket, food and beverage on the bus and a ticket to the game. I am going to this game, so I’m jumping on the chance to take the bus. It saves me money just in gas alone, plus I don’t have to worry about the two hour drive. Throw in the food and the ticket to the game, this really is a steal.

The problem is that they only have 50 spots available; they need at least 30 people in order to make the trip happen. Including me they currently have 10 people signed up. If you live in or around the Rockford area, love football, and want to have good time, I’m telling you, jump on this opportunity. Plus we really want to support the home time at what is playing out to be a crucial game. We all know how much fan support can really help a team play.

So if you are interested in going, call 815-965-7000 and sign up for the bus trip. Not only will you be able to go see a great game and have a lot of fun, but you get to hang out with me! That in itself should be worth $50.00!

I've lost the element of surprise.

Operation Neighbor Scare may need to be upgraded from defensive to offensive standings. Things have started to spiral out of control, and it is now time to ensure my reputation. It seems that with the recent outflow of neighbors in the last 6 months and some of the houses and apartments being empty that my reputation in the neighborhood is not being spread with the foreboding warning that I have enjoyed in years past.

At approximately 18:30 Hours (6:30PM) I was conducting an interview of Boopie in the backyard. He allegedly hit a curb with his bike breaking off one of the foot peddles and he was trying to fix it. Prognosis: Foot peddle threads were stripped, we’ll have to buy a new foot peddle. Unrepearable with the tools and parts on hand. In the middle of my inspection of the part I hear a voice saying, “Hello there”. Looking up, I can see a white male approximately 35-40 years old, about 6 foot, approx 200 lbs, blonde thinning hair, standing at the fence between my property and the house that just sold.

Walking toward the fence I returned the individuals salutation. We introduced ourselves and then I was introduced to his wife and one of their children. At that point the situation took a turn for the worse as I was forced into conducting small talk and pleasantries with the obvious hostile. They even tried reconnoitering information about me and my family for an obviously attempt at a neighborly relationship. After fifteen minutes I excused myself to return to helping Boopie work on his bike.

Returning to the confines of my domicile I proceeded to cleanse myself with externally with soap and internally with Jack Daniel’s. This is when I realized that the mandatory, “Welcome to the neighborhood, stay the fark away from Contagion” talk had not happened with the neighbor. At this point it’s too late for the talk to happen and be as effective; I’m going to have to take some drastic measures.

I’m going to have to start cleaning a lot of weapons in the yard over the next couple of months. Finish getting that hawk block built and start practicing throwing tomahawks. Invite some friends over to sit in the back yard, drink a lot and tell some really inappropriate stories. If all else fails, I think they have a small animal as a pet. I own traps… I’ll let you do the math.