August 17, 2005

Pregnant and Sexy?

While trying to get caught up from vacation on all of my blogging, I found this brief post about Victoria’s Secret not having maternity items over at Margi Lowry Dot Com. The first thing I thought was, "Why would they want to do that? It would be a waste of time." Pregnant women just are not sexy. I’m not saying they aren’t beautiful, because I find many pregnant women to be very beautiful, they just aren’t sexy.

Maybe I’m digging myself into a hole, but let me explain myself. I am now and always have been a very sexual guy; my wife often refers to me as a “Horn Dog”. Since we’ve been together, a day hasn’t gone by that I haven’t propositioned or touched my wife in a sexual way… except when she was pregnant. While pregnant, I felt my wife was the most beautiful women in the world. No other women in the history of the world compared to my wife. Sorry ladies. Yet I had no desire to have sex with her.

It wasn’t just in the last months; it was as soon as she was pregnant. It’s not just her, it’s any pregnant woman. Over the years, I have met many women. Before they were pregnant, they could be or do something I found sexy. As soon as they were with child, I found nothing about them arousing. Even super models and actresses that really work for me, loose their sex appeal as soon as they are impregnated.

Some of you will say this is just me, and you would be wrong. I’ve talked to many guys and a couple of lesbians, and most of the ones I’ve talked to agree with me. They just won’t admit it to a woman. Don’t lie, you know who you are. During Clone’s pregnancy, I tried to figure out why this occurs. I came up with two possible reasons.

The less likely of the two (in my opinion) is that it is a natural response to want to recreate procreate. There may be some kind of primal instinct in men that make pregnant women less sexually desirable. If a man is looking to mate with a woman, he is not going to want to waste his seed on a pregnant woman. The woman is already pregnant; he will need to go sow his seed elsewhere to produce an offspring.

I think it has more to do with pregnamones. What is a pregnamone you ask? Pregnamones are a hormone produced by pregnant females. This powerful hormone has many different side effects on both men and women. The most noticeable of its side effects is on younger women. When a pregnant woman gets around younger women, who are not pregnant, pregnamones will cause a desire to have children in the non-pregnant women. Some of you are calling bullshite on me right now. After working in an office with a majority of women, I have seen this in action numerous times.

There is always someone pregnant here. Shortly before one of the women here is about to give birth, at least one other announces they are pregnant. Before Clone, whenever one of my friend’s pregnant wives or a pregnant co-worker was around Ktreva, she would start talking about having kids. Then when she was pregnant, I could watch her get around other women and see the glint in their eyes about wanting to have kids of their own. Many a male friend of mine was annoyed by this. Especially one in general whose wife up to that point vehemently denied wanting children at all. After spending time with my wife she started talking about having a baby.

Pregnamones are also responsible to the lack of sexiness in a pregnant woman. Many people, other then myself, have noticed that when a women is pregnant she has a different and distinct scent. Before anyone told me, I outed two pregnant females because of their scent. They came up to talk to me and after a couple of seconds; I had to ask if they were pregnant. On both occasions they where and shocked that I knew since they hadn’t told anyone yet.

It is my belief that this scent is a byproduct of a pregnant woman’s emanation of pregnamones. It serves as a warning to males. It screams, “This woman is pregnant, back away slowly! Irrational behavior and an unstable emotional environment are active in this woman. Make sure you have plenty of chocolate and think twice thrice before you speak!” This warning also causes a flight response in the male, killing his sexual desire.

Right now some of your are nodding your head in agreement, others are shaking their head in disbelief. Either way, this is why Victoria’s Secret does not make lingerie for pregnant women.

Posted by Contagion in Bullshite at August 17, 2005 04:13 PM | TrackBack

I have no words! *walks away shaking head* ;)

Posted by: Oddybobo at August 17, 2005 04:11 PM

Contagion, this is TheWifeOfGrau speaking. Pregnamones is it? I'll have to remember that one. Woman's side of story getting as big as a house, puking all the time, kid kicking bag of chips off of stomach and one hell of a pregnamonal roller coaster ride doesn't make you feel too sexy either. Then you have a man who doesn't want to touch you? OOH, not good. Now I know what was up with grau when I was pg!

*Warning to females who don't want children that are around a pregnant female - do not rub their belly or drink the same water they are.* Rash of pregnancy break-out at my work because of this:)

Posted by: Graumagus at August 17, 2005 04:33 PM

Guess I was lucky. I was horny the whole time I was pregnant and my husband let me 'take him'. Even the last couple of days before birth. Yes I felt fat and not so attractive.. .but "man oh man" was I horny. ;-) The exception was my second son.. .and this was due to premature labor. He got a break. GRIN.

Posted by: VW Bug at August 17, 2005 04:55 PM

VW - I never said I wasn't horny. Grau was just put off by all the pregnamones. Your man just must not have been bothered by them. Lucky girl:)


Posted by: Graumagus at August 17, 2005 05:46 PM


I have no comment since I've never been pregnant....but it's funny as hell.

Posted by: Sissy at August 17, 2005 06:04 PM

at least your wife has a well stocked night stand...since you were not up to "it"....


Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at August 17, 2005 08:43 PM

I think it's a combination of the two things you suggest -- the scent is also put out by the female to indicate to the male that there is no need to attempt procreation here, you're too late!

Posted by: Ogre at August 18, 2005 02:38 PM

LOL! I'm trying to figure out what lingerie especially for pregnant women would look like. Maybe heavily padded bras in case of leakage, and strategic "cut out" sections in the belly area.

I'd like to start a line of lingerie for women who have just had babies: Square-shaped bras for when the milk comes in and you look as if you have a boob-job gone wrong, and panties with an extra underneath pouch that you can put a bag of frozen peas in.

Posted by: Sally at August 18, 2005 02:40 PM

Wife o' Grau... henceforth known as the "Frizzen Spouse"... It's the pregnamones that cause another woman to get pregnant from rubbing a belly or drinking from the same cup.

VW, Not all men have the common sense to follow their primal instincts. :)

AWTM, It wasn't that I wasn't up for it, just not with her while she was pregnant! ;)

Sally, Eww.

Posted by: Contagion at August 18, 2005 03:16 PM

Contagion exactly why I said that. If you don't want any rugrats don't do it. "FrizzenSpouse". Maybe this is what I shall call myself on my blog.

Posted by: Graumagus at August 18, 2005 06:38 PM

In some cases, the woman has no desire to be thought of as sexy - morning-noon-and-night sickness for 4 months can really ruin the mood.

If she's really, really lucky, she'll also be married to the rare man whose libido promptly kicks into overdrive the minute he realizes she's carrying his child.

Posted by: Jenna at August 19, 2005 12:17 PM

I find pregnant women just as sexy as any other. I only have one limitation, no oral sex when pregnant. Something in the chemistry down there changes, and isn't umm...pleasant.

Posted by: littlejoe at August 19, 2005 04:54 PM

I don't know why men would find pregnant women sexy. I never found myself to be sexy. (Although I don't really consider myself that way now, for that matter.) However, I was very much at peace with myself and I found people were drawn to me while I was pregnant. Men and women. And I have found myself drawn to pregnant women... they have created life and it's just such a happy time.

But sexy? Nope. I didn't hide myself from my husband when I was pregnant, I'd still be openly naked, hey, I was with child not malformed, but I never felt sexy.

Posted by: Bou at August 22, 2005 11:31 AM