Miasmatic Review

Donation or Extortion?

It’s that time of year again. Not fall, even though today is the first official day. No, it’s that time when companies across the country try to extort money from their employees to donate to the United Way. Why do companies force this issue so much? It’s because then they can say they raised so many dollars for them and get a special mention in next years drive. It’s all marketing that they don’t have to pay as much for… they make their employees do it.

I don’t mind charity drives, but I hate feeling forced into donating my time and money. Is it a donation then? Not in my mind, if forced to pay then I’m not donating money I’m a victim of extortion. I’ve worked for companies that keep track of donations to the United Way and if you don’t donate so much you won’t get a promotion or good review. They went so far as to tell the employees that. My current company is not that bad, however they do put a frown on a lack of participation, especially if you are management level. They do however hand out a sheet telling you what the recommended donation is based on your salary level.

My company makes a huge deal out of this drive. They put on shows, hold raffles, have fundraisers, and do what they call “Supervisor Stunts”. The Supervisor Stunts starts with a drive for money. They have cups set up with various peoples names on them and employees in the company drop money in to the cup to vote for which supervisor has to do a stunt. The four with the most money are the “winners”. The stunts are usually unimaginative things stolen from pop culture. A couple years ago, they did a fear factor take off where the individuals had to eat something safe, yet disgusting. In all actuality there was nothing all that disgusting about what they ate. Last year they did a take off of the old Nickelodeon show Double Dare. Each supervisor had to go through an obstacle course that was only designed to get them covered in slime, condiments, ice cream, pudding, etc.

This year they decided to open it up to all management and some of the support staff. I was strongly encouraged to participate in it this year. Why? Because with my position I am easily one of the top two people in the office that the employees would like to get revenge on. Thus, I would bring in a lot of money. Unfortunately, for them I had a different idea. Mine was more along the lines of, “I’m not donating one damn cent to the United Way and I’m not doing anything that might help raise a dime for them.”

See the extended entry for my reasons.

Some of you may wonder why I won’t donate to the United Way. It’s because I hate them. Actually, hate isn’t the right word; I loathe and despise them. I have no problems donating to charity; in fact, I donate my time and money to various organizations all through out the year. It’s just these arseholes that I can’t stand. As many of you may know, I’m a huge supporter of the Boy Scouts of America. I am an Eagle Scout with a Bronze palm. I’ve spent time as a leader and volunteer. Right now, I fill in when I can, but I donate money directly to them. However, the United Way in various states has started pulling their funding from the Boy Scouts, because of their position on homosexuals as volunteers.

Fine, they don’t want to help fund the Boy Scouts because of that, it’s their right. I agree with the Boy Scouts and will just give my money directly to them. However, I don’t think they have any right to try to dictate policy in these organizations they are funding. The money that was given to them was given with the belief that it was going to be spread amongst the various organizations they list, which still includes the BSA. However if they pull or cut their funding then they are misrepresenting where that money is going. Many of the people I spoke with here didn’t even realize the United Way was doing that.

The other reason I don’t like the United Way is that I know too many people that needed their help, swallowed their pride and asked only to be turned away. The excuses being anything from they made too much money to they weren’t in a dire enough position. The problem being is that every one of the people that was turned away all needed it badly. These weren’t short hardships, but long ones, including the loss of homes and family. Then I hear the stories from people here who did receive their help, including some of my minions, these people where in better conditions then the others I know.

I don’t know what their criterion is to receive help, but I’m thinking they may be a little bias. IE if you had a good job and life was good, then you where laid off, haven’t been able to find a steady well paying job in 2 years. The Department of Child and Family Services comes knocking on your door to take your kids. Not because you abuse them, but because you can’t make ends meet. You’ve given up every luxury you used to enjoy just to bring home food and cloth your kids. That wasn’t enough to keep someone for reporting you for neglect because little Johnny isn’t the healthiest looking kid in school. So finally in the last bit of desperation after being turned down for all the other assistance programs you turn to the United Way only to once again be declined… because you once made too much money. Does this story sound like BS? I thought it was, except I know the person it happened to and it is true.

I’m not even going to go into the mishandling of donations and funds that have been associated with the United Way. The first two were enough for me never to want to give them a cent. I’m not telling others not to donate to the United Way, that is your choice. I’m just telling you why I don’t like them and why I won’t. I believe that is a choice each individual person has to make.