Miasmatic Review

Now if only he would shut up.

Clone has taken to talking really well in the last month. If he hears someone say something, he will file it away and say it again at a later time, or immediately after. This can be good because he can communicate with us better. Instead of getting mad or frustrated at being unable to convey a want or need to us, he tends only to get mad when we say no now… This is most of the time because he wants to do things like play with daddy’s firearms, swords, knives and axes.

His new verbal agility can be bad, especially if Daddy is watching his Packers make a stupid play and rattles off a stream of obscenities that would make Graumagus run off covering his ears. Only then to turn around and hear Clone repeat verbatim, “Son of a B(TCH! Those G*d d@mn M*ther f&ckers better learn to catch a g*d d@mn ball or they won’t win a f&ckin’ game all season, B@STARDS!” He said it perfectly; only instead of anger behind his voice, it was pride. Pride at knowing that he did something that made Daddy laugh and Mommy yell at Daddy. Now he knows which words are “bad” words and tattles on Dad if he says one. Then Mommy comes and yells at daddy to “watch his language”… the little bast…. brat.

Then there is the even more humorous situation where he uses slang correctly. Especially if we didn’t know that he knew the term. For example, Saturday night, before him and my wife became sick, we were sitting around the campfire listening to my friend Jim play the guitar and sing. Earlier in the night Jim was teaching him how to do the two-handed “monster metal horns”. Try as he would, Clone could not get it right. Flash forward 2 hours we are still sitting around the fire and Jim just finished playing a song. Ktreva was clapping when clone, trying to do the two-handed “monster metal horns” says, “Rock on mom!” clear as a bell. Fortunately, I hadn’t been taking a drink at the time or I would have spit Jack Daniels out of my nose into the campfire. That could have been bad on so many different levels.

Everyday he does or says something new, I just hope it doesn’t repeat something I’ve said and get me in trouble… again.