December 14, 2005
Good evening gentle-people.
Hello! Did you miss me? Of course you did! I don’t know why I even asked as you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t miss me. As some of you may have remembered I was away at sensitivity class for the last two days. Golly gee that was fun. Not only was I able to see the errors of my ways, I also made some new friends. One of them is the president her local chapter of PETA. We spent a lot of quality time talking to one another over the last two days. I also was able to spend a lot of time with a nice anti-gun Chicago Democrat. I sure learned a lot from her as well. Why? Well I was sitting between the two of them.
It sure was nice getting to know them. Before you ask, no they where not what I would consider physically attractive, but the both were beautiful individuals in their own way. My life has been greatly improved by sharing time with the both of them AND learning from our discussions. They made some very interesting and valid points that have changed the way I view the world.
Since I just got back, I’m pretty tired and I want to spend some time with the boys. I’ll type up the rest tomorrow.
Oh, and before I forget. Thank you. Thank you all for stopping by and taking time out of your busy days just to visit me. I appreciate your kindness.
Posted by Contagion in Bullshite at December 14, 2005 07:02 PM
Who are you and what have you done with Contagion?
You know, when you start having delusions, it's time to go to the hospital.
There be something smelling a whole lot like Bull S*** 'round here.
Maybe you could have showered after spending time around the hippies.
Yikes... did part of your sensitivity training involve being drugged while strapped into a chair with your eyelids pinned open while being shown scenes of the horrors of being non-sensitive?
ok, which book did you copy this out of and why? Trying to give everyone a good shock right before Christmas? No, I don't believe a word of it... other than I think you are a GREAT actor.
Dear new Contagion,
I am glad you are have started the holiday season out right, please tell me how many jack and cokes you had before writing this, because that is how many I will need to make it through the week...
Wow. They have drugs for that now, you know... or maybe that's what the problem is... ;-)
Dear lord! What have they done to you Herk? I think you need an intervention, an anti-sensitivity intervention!
As the official blogo-representative of PCness, I would like to welcome you to the new world. It is good to see you enjoying your new life, but please refrain from using phrases like "out with the boys," as that is sexist and cannot be permitted.
Your going back to sensitivity training class arn't you?
Especially after sitting between 2 hippies.
Sorry about the mess, but I just puked.
I'm really glad I put on my boots before I stopped by today.
Checking under your bed for a pod.
Will the REAL Contagion please stand up...please stand up...please stand up
Suggested pickup lines, should you ever be in a similar situation:
"Democrats: the other white meat."
"Kittens? I LOVE kittens! Especially with a nice butter sauce."
Or you could just jab an icepick into your skull repeatedly. That's what I would do.
Okay, everyone back slowly toward the door.....
Sorry, Wes, but if you're in my way to the door, I'm running your ass over!
If I'm in your way, I'd deserve it. I just don't want to startle him into singing "Born Free" and hugging everybody. If that starts, I'm divin' out the damned window!