December 28, 2005

Jail Break!

Over the last couple of weeks, Clone has decided he does not need to sleep. We can put him to bed, but he continually gets out of bed, plays in his room or comes downstairs. This little ritual has gone on nightly. No matter what we’ve done, it doesn’t seem to work. We even suspect he does it in the middle of the night after we’ve gone to bed. We’ve found certain items turned on or items left in places they do not belong.

We have gates on his bedroom door and in various rooms, but they don’t work. Heck, the gates are nothing more then suggestions. They work more like ineffective speed bumps then anything else. Clone can climb/scale the gates in a matter of seconds, even the “climb resistant” varieties. There are times when he doesn’t want to waste his time climbing the gate. He’ll get a running start and throw his body into the gate knocking it down. He’s actually broken the hinge on one of the gates trying to get around it.

This may shock some of you, but I’m not one of those lovey, comforting, “He’s expressing himself” kind of parents. I learned parenting from my father I’m the spanking, taking away, “Red Foreman” kind of parent. Clone has faced the wrath of dad, and continues to pull his little stunts. When I’ve put him back in bed I say, “Its bed time, you need to lie down and go to sleep. If you get out of bed again, you’ll make daddy mad. You don’t want to make daddy mad, do you?” He’ll shake his little head no and lay down. Give it fifteen minutes and I can find him sneaking down the stairs to the living room. Yes, I’ve followed through with my threats.

The next morning when we have to wake him up he is tired and cranky. Which makes getting him ready just that much more unpleasant a task to undertake. He pulls the same thing at nap time, or he’ll only nape for a short period of time and then gets up. That night he’ll be back to old tricks. The lack of sleep is not causing him to get tired enough to sleep.

Ktreva’s theory is that he is afraid he is going to miss something happening. She’s right, if he goes to sleep he’s going to miss the business side of my hand on his bottom!

I’ve joked about duct taping him to his bed, but I’m starting to think that might be my last resort.

Posted by Contagion in Family Life at December 28, 2005 01:08 PM | TrackBack

Dude, an old screen door and a couple of cinder blocks, like I told you before. :-)

Posted by: Sarah at December 28, 2005 02:25 PM

Being a fake Dr. I've decided to help you and sent you something that can solve this problem.

Posted by: Dr. Phat Tony at December 28, 2005 02:28 PM

Maybe a bed like they used to have in the mental health facilities of old with the straps.

It may even have the hookups for electroshock therapy, great stuff for the teen years. Hell I may even buy one myself.

Posted by: phin at December 28, 2005 02:29 PM

The spankings aren't working? I'd say it is time to start taking away beloved toys. When I have to spank my son it does no good. In fact, sometimes he tells me "it didn't hurt" (he gets it from me) or he'll laugh at me and be up to his old tricks, but man, when i take away his toys or his power ranger movies, the boy does an about-face like you wouldn't believe.

When all else fails, a slide lock on the outside of his door might work, also, it may be time for a baby monitor in his room again.

Posted by: oddybobo at December 28, 2005 02:39 PM

Electric fence (a weed burner), or shock collar.

Worked on me...

Posted by: That 1 Guy at December 28, 2005 03:07 PM

Oddybobo took my idea. Lock his little ass in there and let him howl. He'll get the idea soon enough. Just make sure there's nothing in there he can whack himself with before you can get the door open :)

If the problem is that he won't sleep at night because he's bored and not sleepy, take away nap time. And then lock him in at night.

How about motion detector lights in the hall? That might scare him back to bed....

No wait here's the best idea: put him to bed, go through the normal routine and let him think everyone has gone to bed. But you don't. Sit up downstairs with the light off and wait for him. When he comes downstairs to watch TV or whatever, wait until he gets into whatever he's doing and then let him know you're there in a not so subtle way (such that you scare the crap out of him) and THEN haul him back to bed. Might scar the little bugger for life, but I suspect it would work....

Posted by: caltechgirl at December 28, 2005 03:25 PM

Sarah, he's no longer in a crib.

DPT... What?!?!?! you're not a real doctor!

Phin: That might be an idea.

Oddy: taking away of toys... done, baby monitor... we never stopped using one. He's sneaky. Locking the door... Unfortunately in Illinois that is considered child endangerment and is illegal.

T1G: Really, that explains so much.

CTG: Scaring him might work, it might not. But I might have to give it a try.

Posted by: Contagion at December 28, 2005 03:30 PM

OK, the "scare the crap out of him" idea sounds like a real winner. He is no longer in a crib, so my idea won't work with the screen door. If it is illegal to "lock" him in there, is it illegal to pile cinder blocks in front of the door so he can't open it? It's not a lock, just a well placed pile of bricks, right?

Posted by: Sarah at December 28, 2005 04:19 PM

Oh, I really do think the "scare" thing is an awesome idea, just want to clarify that.

Posted by: Sarah at December 28, 2005 04:21 PM

I have the same suggestion as I do for the car ride issue ... alcohol ... a little nip and hour before bed and he will be sound asleep by the time head hits pillow.

Posted by: Machelle at December 28, 2005 05:59 PM

I keep thinking about this. He's going to outgrow it. He will. I'm wondering if he has outgrownhis naps. My kids did at his age.

I know this is perfectly awful, but have you tried lying down with him until he falls asleep to see how long it takes? I'm all about gathering data...

Posted by: Bou at December 28, 2005 10:02 PM

I'm with Machelle. Give clone a couple spoonfuls of Robitussin or Nyquil and he'll be out. Of course there's the whole dependency thing but we'll cross that bridge later...

Posted by: spurs at December 29, 2005 09:41 AM

Geeze I didn't read down this far last night.... *grin*. How old is he again??? My kids gave up naps by 1 year old and they would be awake until 11pm and up by 7am... I never got them to sleep through the night until they went to first grade. Yes, I believe they thought they might miss something. Oh the bad memories this brings back!

I would cut out the naps - as hard as that might be on you guys. And as Bou says - either laying down with him or sitting in the room with him until he falls asleep. Young son used to lay in bed and hold his breath to keep himself awake at night - I'd sit next to him and hear that - and tell him to breathe... it was most annoying!

Posted by: Teresa at December 29, 2005 10:35 AM