January 09, 2006

He's dead.

Tomorrow I have to go to court. These will not be pleasant proceedings, not pleasant at all. For tomorrow, I will have to go to court over a death. It’s not the death of a family member, but of a close personal friend. A friend that I’ve known for years. Some of you know this friend and will be shocked to learn this. I guess its better coming from me then some stranger or by a surprise.

Tomorrow I’m having Graumagus legally declared dead.

Sure technically he may have a beating heart in his chest and what passes for a functioning brain in his head, but he’s no longer around. In addition, if I have him declared dead it will help another case of mine.

Under salvage laws, I’m trying to claim Frizzen Sparks as my own. He’s abandoned it since December 18, which is over 3 weeks ago, 22 days at this time to be precise. That means it is abandoned and the previous owner doesn’t want it anymore. Thus, I should be able to have it legally transferred to my name. Now, since Grau has been gone for over 3 weeks with nary a word or comment, which should be grounds to have him declared dead. Isn’t it blogging death to not post for more then two weeks? I believe so.

Posted by Contagion in General assholery at January 9, 2006 06:27 PM | TrackBack

There are two ways people die. One is called cardiopulmonary death, which is when breathing stops and the heart stops beating.

The other results in the ceasing of brain function and cannot be reversed. In order to legally declare someone brain dead, two separate doctors must declare that individual to be brain dead.

I will second you on that he must be dead. You can't have a functioning brain if you have gone 22 days without one comment or one post. ;-)

Posted by: vw bug at January 9, 2006 04:56 PM

I concur with Doctor "Bug's" diagnosis. I say we pull the plug and let nature take its course.

Sidenote: If his liver's any good, I'd like dibs on that. Mine's getting a little tired, and it's good to have a backup. I'll forge the organ-donor card... free-of-charge!

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at January 9, 2006 05:17 PM

didn't he show at the blogmeet? Hmmm, seems to me that there were two or three "doctors" there who could chime in and declare that he was in fact "dead."

Posted by: Oddybobo at January 9, 2006 05:26 PM

So the Grau I met at Fritz's was technically "The Undead" dead? Grau is a Zombie? Wow.... and yet he seemed so pleasant... and well groomed for a Zombie...

Posted by: Richmond at January 9, 2006 05:57 PM

what do his other heirs have to say? Bou, for example?

Posted by: caltechgirl at January 9, 2006 07:51 PM

As his life-partner, I make his medical decisions.

*grabs life-support power cord*


Just wait for the twitching to stop :-)

Posted by: Harvey at January 9, 2006 08:42 PM

.. alas, poor Grau... you damn, dirty vultures.... have you no respect for the Father of Retrosexuality?...

Posted by: Eric at January 9, 2006 08:54 PM

Johnny-oh: I know where that liver's been. You don't want it.

Richmond: Of course it was. Didn't the smell give it away?

CTG: Do to locality, I'm the immediate family.

Eric: Of course not! He singled me out in it!

Posted by: Contagion at January 9, 2006 09:46 PM

I'll have you all know he isn't dead yet. He's having to do a major transformation to Frizzen Sparks. He's sick of all the bullshit spam he keeps on getting.

Posted by: T-WOG at January 10, 2006 04:11 PM

Wow, if it's 2 weeks, I keep rising from the dead!!

Posted by: Sissy at January 10, 2006 08:22 PM

AAAAAAAH! Sissy's ghost!

Posted by: Harvey at January 11, 2006 07:44 PM