Miasmatic Review

Halloween costumes: Good or bad

Harvey has this post regarding sexy costumes up over at Bad Example. From the post, I have the impression that Harvey and his friend are in the opinion that Halloween either is developing a “slutty adult theme” or has had one. I have to disagree. It’s not about slutty adult themes.. or even sexy adult themes, it’s about fantasy (not necessarily sexual).

Halloween really did not start getting the popularity it has now in America until the 50’s. Now the kids that really first started enjoying it are grandparents; adults like myself, are second-generation Halloween celebrants. When we were growing up it was told to us, “You can pretend to be anything you want on Halloween”. When we were kids, we could be Fireman, Indians, policemen, monsters, soldiers, knights, Ghostbusters, etc. What ever our imagination wanted and no one cared because it was make believe. It was pretend. My extremely religious parents were not bothered that I dressed up as demons and the devil for one day a year, because it was make believe. I was not really a demon or the devil.

As we got older, those of us that really embraced Halloween (It’s my favorite holiday) kept up the spirit of make believe. Some of us use it as an excuse to dress up as something we aren’t, but want to pretend we are. I’m not really a demon lord of they Abyss (Contrary to what my minions might say), but I dress up as one every year for Halloween. It fulfills a part of my psyche that wants to be a scary and powerful supernatural being that strikes fear into the hearts of humans.

In real life, I would never actually impale someone, disembowel them, dismember them or sever their heads. On Halloween night, my yard looks exactly like that is what I have been doing. I enjoy pretending to be the bad guy and scaring older kids and adults. Unlike when I scare them unintentionally through my daily actions, this is more satisfying.

Talking with many females and with my own wife, I’ve concluded that females that dress up in the sexy outfits do it for a similar reason. They like being attractive, having men look at them, maybe even be a little bit trashy. HOWEVER, that is not who they are. One night a week they can dress up very provocatively and pretend to be more sexually aggressive then they really are, and not worry about someone thinking they are a slut. They can let out their inner “Naughty Girl” and no one thinks twice about it because it is Halloween. Very few will hold it against them once Halloween is over.

I’ll admit my theory may be wrong, but with the 50+ females, I’ve talked to about it; I’ve received very similar answers.

Now on a separate, yet related note; While handing out candy on Halloween there were girls in middle school (they had the local middle school coats with them) wearing the sexy nurse, French maid, waitress, cop outfits. What parent in their right mind would let their age 14 or lower daughter leave the house dressed like that? Sure, it’s make believe (see above) but this is just wrong, even if the costumes didn’t look good on them because they didn’t have the figure for it. There are some creepy people in the world.

I also had High School girls (again local HS jackets/bags) wearing the same style outfits come by. Being older, I didn’t have a problem with it, at their age (16+) they are responsible for their own actions. However, these girls also didn’t look good in the costumes because they didn’t have the figures for them. The cut of the costume is meant for women, not girls. You have to have hips and at least some breasts for these costumes even to begin looking sexy. Most of these girls had very similar figures to my 12-year-old son. (IE, No curves) They thought they looked hot, maybe it’s because I like women and not girls, but I thought they looked funny… in the clown sort of way.

There was also one woman that came to my house wearing a “sexy” witch costume. I applaud large women that have a healthy self-esteem and can wear sexy outfits and not be ashamed. HOWEVER, if the outfit is so small that you look like an overstuffed bratwurst exploding at the ends, find something new. This lady was between 5’2 and 5’4, probably about 350 pounds. I’m not kidding; I may even be being “nice” on the weight estimate. You could see where the costume had burst in multiple spots and she had safety pinned it back together. The safety pins looked like they were on the verge of exploding off the costume. I was actually in fear for the safety of the children with this woman when those pins finally gave way.

Some of you may think I’m being cruel or insensitive. I’m fat man myself. The number of times I did not buy clothing or costuming because it was too small or too tight has been lost to the ages. I’m not embarrassed about my body. It’s not that. Clothing that tight just looks bad. If I’m wearing a button down shirt and it, looks like the buttons are about to come flying off at lethal speeds, that just looks tacky. It’s the same principle here. If the costume ripped putting it on and you have to strain safety pins to hold it together… you should NOT wear that costume.

In closing, remember: Adults in costumes are acting out some inner desire/fantasy to be something they are not or can’t be every day. If you buy a costume and it fits poorly (too loose or too tight), you probably don’t look good in it.