Miasmatic Review

At least it's not Opera.

Ever since Clone first discovered he had the ability to make sounds using his mouth, he’s had three volume settings: Loud, Deafening and Sleeping (Which is just below normal human speech). He snores in his sleep and sometimes talks. This has sparked many a great debate in my house as to which side of the family he gets such a trait. My wife insists he gets it from me. I, on the other hand, know it’s from her family. If you’ve ever met Ktreva then you know she’s loud and doesn’t shut up… ever! Hell, right now I can hear her talking non-stop. “Don’t you dare post anything like that about me! OoOOOoo, I’m gonna kick your arse!” It’s a good thing I learned to ignore her years ago.

Well, tonight she feels she’s won the war. According to her royal yappiness, she now has irrefutable proof that Clone’s loudness comes from my side of the family. I think she’s just exaggerating. Nope, to her she feels that there is no further proof required.

Tonight, Clone and I where in the Kitchen taking the clean dishes out of the dishwasher and putting them away. When I do various tasks, I tend to sing. Clone loves to sing along with me when he’s helping. We went through the classics of the Contagion household, “I’m H-A-P-P-Y!, Mares eat oats, Sponge Bob Square Pant’s theme, Ice Ice Baby”. Of course when I sing, I do it with gusto. Since Clone is my, well, clone, he also sings with much gusto. This turned into a contest to see who could show more gusto. (Wow, I think that’s the most I’ve ever used the word gusto).

Ktreva comes walking into the kitchen, smirk on her face as both Clone and I are singing as loudly as we can. Hell we’re yelling with a melody. Ktreva, smirking mind you, looks at me and says, “Loud!” We both stop singing and look at her standing there grinning back at us. “I told you he got his loudness from you.” She says self-righteously “You, don’t see me in here teaching him to yell songs.”

I tried to explain this was different. She just couldn’t grasp the concept that being loud and having a contest to see who can be louder is not the same thing. You must have to be male to understand that.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go replace some broken light bulbs.