January 27, 2006

Playing dirty.

The best thing about having a beautiful wife is that you can look AND touch. There’s just something about admiring a beautiful woman that makes me smile. Throw in that when this woman walks by I can smack her on the arse and not be slapped it is even better. Well a smack, pinch or grab… I’m known to do any one of those actions at a given time. For the last seven years Ktreva never complained about it, well unless I was a little too rough. Now all of a sudden she must have decided that I’m no longer allowed to touch.

A couple of weeks ago she informed me she needed new jeans. Off she went and bought three pairs. I didn’t think anything of it. She had been wearing them around and they looked good on her. Between you and me, there is nothing sexier then a woman in a tight pair of jeans. The way it enhances her womanly figure just gets my motor running. The curve of the hips, the swell of bottom, and the roundness of the legs are all enough to drive me wild. I’d rather have a woman with a good behind in tight jeans then a big-breasted woman. I guess I’m weird that way. And no hip huggers… they destroy the natural beauty that is woman. Hip huggers through off the natural lines and curves of a female.

Sorry, got off track there, back to my point. Ktreva is walking around in her new jeans looking good. I couldn’t help myself, winding up and with the back of my hand; I let a playful slap to her bottom go. OUCH!!!!! I pull my hand back and it feels like something stung my finger. A white spot has formed on one of my fingernails where I hit. I look closer at her new jeans and realized something; she has beads all over the pockets of her jeans!

I thought they where just decorative little designs, nope these are metal studs sewn through out the back pockets in a design. She armored her arse!!! Her butt was firm before, but now it’s a tank! (Hard, not the size of!) It’s an impenetrable fortress against groping, pinching and smacking! UNFAIR!

Ktreva of course is laughing about the whole thing. I’m nursing my now bruised fingers and trying to shake the sting out. She’s laughing at me. Apparently, there is humor in my pain for her. All I can think is “Denied my husbandly right to play grab arse with my wife.”

So let this be a lesson to you guys, look before you smack. Apparently, they are marketing Armor Arse jeans to the women folk out there.

Posted by Contagion in Shenanigans at January 27, 2006 10:56 AM | TrackBack

You need to put a stop to this quick. Next thing you know there will be shopping trip for chastity belts.

Posted by: Dr. Phat Tony at January 27, 2006 11:04 AM

pictures pictures pictures....

the chesse bra, but no jeans....

what gives

inquiring minds want to know

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at January 27, 2006 11:20 AM

LOL! Something new to try. Can't wait to see my hubby's reaction. I'll be sure to tell him you gave me the idea. ;-)

Posted by: vw bug at January 27, 2006 11:35 AM

Ahhh! The bedazzler strikes!

Posted by: oddybobo at January 27, 2006 11:45 AM

I think it's more like the "bedazzler strikes back!" lol

Posted by: Richmond at January 27, 2006 11:56 AM


Just know you're not alone. DH complains of the same problem...

Posted by: caltechgirl at January 27, 2006 12:56 PM

DPT: I know, I'm afraid of where this is heading.

AWTM: You want to see pictures of my wife in tight jeans? I didn't realize you where into art.

VW: If your husband drives up here to kick my arse, I'll be very upset.

Oddy/Richmond: If it ws just a bedazzler I could pull the parts off, no these are designer jeans with rivets!

CTG: Be nice to DH... wear normal, un-armored, tight jeans. Don't make his hand hurt...

...now that's just dirty.

Posted by: Contagion at January 27, 2006 01:45 PM

... man, that's just not right....

Posted by: Eric at January 27, 2006 04:52 PM

in my defense, you picked these jeans out for me.

Posted by: ktreva at January 27, 2006 09:33 PM

Oh my God, you sound just like my husband. I ALSO love to laugh at his pain. Hee, hee, I'm laughing just imagining YOUR pain!

Posted by: TNT at January 30, 2006 08:45 PM