February 14, 2006

Stupid forced love.

About now all of my loyal contaminants, and some of you passer bys are probably thinking, “Where the hell is Contagion’s Valentines day post?” Well you know what, just like Birthdays, father’s day and sweetest day; I don’t celebrate Valentine's Day. It’s a manufactured BS holiday that is designed to make card companies, jewelers, florists and candy makers rich.

To be honest, I find this holiday pretty damn insulting. I don’t need some St. of frou-frou love telling me that I have to do something special for my wife. Isn’t that something I should do on my own and on a regular basis, not just once a year? Sure, some of you are going to smart off, well you do it on a regular basis AND on Valentines Day. Well Bullocks on you! If I’m forced to shell out money to buy a gift for someone, why the hell should I do it all the other days? You’ve already mugged me for a gift; I hope you enjoy it! If I give them of my own free will, then I’m more likely to do it again of my own free will. And not just when I did something stupid to get myself in trouble.

Plus, if the gift is obligatory, is it really heart felt? Think about it, did you buy your special someone a gift just because you wanted to or because it was Valentines Day. Some of you are probably lying to yourself and saying both. I call BS! Yes, I do! If Valentines Day was next month you wouldn’t have gotten a gift for your loved one this week. You would have waited until next month to do it. Admit it, it’s okay.

Today at work, I’ve been “volunteered” to hand out flowers at work. Yea, that’s right. Mr. Love and cheer here gets flower distribution duty for all the minions. This is part of someone’s plan to “soften” my image with the employees. They even wanted me to dress up as cupid. CUPID PEOPLE! Can you imagine me walking around work in nothing but a giant diaper holding a bow and arrows with heart shaped heads? (You’re welcome for that mental image!) Needless to say, I put my foot down and said, “I’ll wear a red shirt and tie, that’s as far as I’ll go.” True to my word, I’m wearing a red shirt… Blood red.

My ever so cheery smile will be walking up to people, dropping flowers on their desk. I’ve even written a little poem to recite when I deliver the flowers. “On this Valentine’s day, someone bought a flower for you. It’s not from me, because I don’t have a heart like others do.” Then I’m going to smile one of those forced smiles that looks like I’ve gone insane.

Valentines Day, Bahumbug!

Yes, I did get Ktreva a gift, I’m not that stupid.

Posted by Contagion in Rants and Raves at February 14, 2006 12:42 PM | TrackBack

Ya! Valentine's Day is for suckers!

I bought a gift for my wife too.

Posted by: Dr. Phat Tony at February 14, 2006 10:55 AM

Oh, I wish I were there to hear that poem! That is awesome!

Posted by: Oddybobo at February 14, 2006 11:04 AM

I bought $3 worth of "American Chopper" foil cards for my first grader to hand out to his classmates. I checked his handwriting and spelling as he put his name and their names on the cards. I folded the cards and affixed the little heart stickers. I stuffed the cards back in the box, and made sure the box was in his backpack when he left for school this morning.

I'm done celebrating. Woo. And Hoo.

Posted by: Jenna at February 14, 2006 12:52 PM

Happy VD!

Posted by: caltechgirl at February 14, 2006 01:01 PM

Awwww. I think you might have looked cute as cuipd! You'd have to wear a tartan diaper, though. And I don't know that it would be good for you to be armed in any way.... But the insane smile would still work! ;)

Posted by: Richmond at February 14, 2006 01:06 PM

Yes, I can imagine it... accessoried with a sporran. And hiking boots. And a cigar.

Posted by: Omnibus Driver at February 14, 2006 02:03 PM

I'll bet you're a wonderful little cherub........*he says sarcastically*...

Posted by: spurs at February 14, 2006 02:45 PM

A diaper... ROFLMAO... oh yeah I can see that one then Ktreva can get to you easier to pinch you when you're out of line.

No, we don't do the V day either - we never have. And no my husband will not come home with a present for me nor do I have anything for him. What a waste of time and money... sheesh.

Posted by: Teresa at February 14, 2006 04:34 PM

"Bullocks on me?"

Would that be SANDRA Bullocks? ;)

Posted by: Ogre at February 15, 2006 08:04 AM