Miasmatic Review

Of Ice and Language.

This morning I left the house to go to work. Ktreva had to drive down state, so it was just the boys and I. Not having driven my truck in the last 3 days there was quite a bit of snow on my windshield. At least I thought it was snow. When I went to brush it off it didn’t move. There was no snow there, just a three inch thick chunk of ice that covered my entire windshield.

The truck was running, so the defrost could help me clear the windshield. Both boys where secured in their seats watching in fascination as Dad started an educational journey of new vocabulary and dress shoes on ice. For twenty minutes I battled the ice. It would not give way to the scraper. The height of my truck didn’t help either. I’m not a tall man. With great difficulty could I effectively reach the center of my windshield to scrape off the ice.

Meanwhile my boys are sitting inside of the now warm cab laughing and snickering at me. Clone learned a new word (I guess my voice carries over the sound of the engine and through closed doors). Since I am in polite company I will not repeat such vulgarities. Unfortunately, I forgot that courtesy when the children were present. Needless to say on the way to the sitters I was regaled with a chorus of chanted vulgarities that is only mildly amusing when coming from the mouth of a soon to be three year old. No matter how many times I told me not to say, “Those naughty words” he would just keep chanting them.

Of course Boopie was of no help. He was too busy laughing at me. Where Clone missed what happened to bring on such colorful language, Boopie was able to see the performance. Ladies and Gentlemen, let me just say now that I have lived in Northern Illinois for the vast majority of my life. I know how to handle the snow and icy conditions. Unfortunately, in my anger frustration, I forgot that leather soled dress shoes do not provide for the best of winter weather traction. While throwing my entire body into cleaning the windshield, my feet slipped on the ice. What must have appeared to be something out of a movie, I flew into the air landing on my back in the ice encrusted snow along the driveway. From there it must have looked like a business man in an overcoat was trying to make snow angels.

No worries, I’m not injured. Other then a slight bruising of my pride, all is well. It’s just not how I wanted to start a day.