Miasmatic Review

SHOTGUN!

The other day I had a discussion with some people regarding the rules and regulations behind calling shotgun. We ended up in huge debate over it. (Yes, we have issues because THIS of all things is what we decided to debate) After all was said and done I came home and decided to see if there were rules for calling shotgun. (Those of you that are unfamiliar with this term, it is when someone other then the driver calls out “Shotgun” in order to get the prime front passenger seat in a vehicle.) I was able to locate the following rules at Shotgun Guide.com.

1) The first person to yell "SHOTGUN" gets to ride in the front seat.

2) The remaining back seats may be divvied up in the same manner by being the first to call "back right seat", etc..

3) The word "shotgun" must be loud enough to be heard by at least one witness. If no witness is to be found, or in case of a tie, the driver has the final word. after all, it is most likely his car. (note: if it isn't his car, and the owner is present, the owner's decision is final. Owner must be sober, however, or he will defer his judgment to the driver.)

4) Early calls are strictly prohibited. All occupants of the vehicle (including the driver) must be outside of the building and directly on the way to the vehicle before shotgun may be called. Under no circumstances may a person call shotgun inside a building. For sake of simplicity, a garage is considered to be outside. Parking structures and detached garages are always considered as being outdoors, even if they are underground.

5) A person may only call shotgun for one way of a trip. Shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle or still technically on the way to the first location. For example, one can not get out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for the return journey.

6) Being as how everyone is created equal, men have the same right as women to the front seat of the car. i.e. women don't own the front seat.

7) One is allowed to ride shotgun as many times as he can call it, but for himself only. No one can call shotgun for their slower friend, unless the friend has a speech or mental handicap that prevents them from calling it for themselves.

8) The driver has final say in all ties and disputes. The driver has the right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or more persons.

They even go into special rules and amendments. One of my favorites is; In the instance the driver's spouse, lover, partner, or hired prostitute for the evening is going to accompany the group, he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline. (Emphasis mine). It just goes to show you that either the people that thought this up have a good sense of humor, or really need lives.

I think this should settle all problems I have in the future with calling shotgun. Maybe I’ll print these out, laminate them and post them in my truck.