Miasmatic Review

There is nothing they won't sell

We’ve all seen athletes that do endorsements for various products. Every time you turn on the TV you see someone hocking anything from aspirin to Zima (Nasty as it is). Inevitably some athletes are more popular then others. Every Sunday as I watch the Football games I see multiple adds that have Peyton Manning in them, some are even hilarious, but he’s not the worst out there. Some friends of mine are huge NASCAR fans. Personally, I find it boring and don’t count it as a sport… but that is an argument for another post, again. Occasionally I’ve gone over to watch races with them, mainly to drink beer, socialize and cheer for crashes (where no one gets hurt).

It was during these little parties that I noticed one driver in particular had the lion’s share of commercials. The guy was on at least one out of every three commercials. I started dubbing the guy “Media Whore”. Of course I’m referring to Dale Earnhardt Jr. From what I can tell there is nothing this guy will not put his name or likeness to. I can’t count the numerous products I’ve seen him endorse. I’m just waiting for him to cross the final boundary and start selling feminine hygiene products.

I can just see the commercial now.

Dale: “Not all tampons are the same. When you are being active or sitting in a car for a long time, the last thing you want is leakage. During the race I hug the walls and so do these NASCAR Tampons. Nothing gets past them, just like me! With the easy applicator you can insert them faster then my car coming out of turn number three in Daytona. The handy braided string with the number 8 logo gives you easier extraction then pulling Tony Stewart out of a car after a crash. There is even an indicator on it to tell you if you need to change, just like a crew chief. So remember, NASCAR Tampons for life in the fast lane!”

Yea… Sadly I’m thinking I’m actually going to see this commercial in a couple of years.