Miasmatic Review

leaky willy

For two weeks now I’ve had an issue at work. There is one bathroom there that use when I need to empty my bowels. It’s the largest bathroom in the building, and the least used. It has four stalls and three urinals. For five years I’ve been using the same bathroom and the same stall with out a problem. That is until two weeks ago.

I walked into the bathroom getting ready for my mid-morning constitutional. Heading into my stall to do my deed I stop dead in my tracks. All over the floor, the toilet and the seat is urine. GAH! Okay, I go to the next stall and it’s fine. For one day I can use a different stall. The next day I return. Again someone has pissed all over the toilet and the seat. When I say pissed all over, it doesn’t look like they intended to give the exterior of the toilet a golden shower. It looked like they had no control over the beginning and end of the stream. I head into the next stall and again it is covered in urine.

This has been going on for two weeks. What the hell?!?!?! First I want to know what guy would use a stall when there are perfectly good urinals available? I don’t want to hear about two guys shouldn’t pee in urinals next to each other. Bullshit, that’s what they are for, there are separators and at many places I’ve seen guys lined up waiting to find any open urinal, mainly at football games. Now that isn’t the case here. There is never enough traffic in this bathroom for all three urinals to be taken. There are not a lot of guys in the entire office, let alone in that part of the building. Whoever is doing this has some kind of issue with using a urinal.

Secondly I understand guys miss and at times there are drops on the floor. It happens, peeing standing up has its drawbacks. It’s either the floor or our pants. This was no one or two drops on the floor or the occasional post sex miss-spray. This guy has serious control issues. He gets it everywhere. It’s almost like he’s afraid to touch his own unit in order to aim the damn thing. You can get away with that at a urinal, but when aiming for a toilet bowl you need to use some control. They don’t aim themselves.

Thirdly, and most importantly… WHY THE HELL IS HE NOT CLEANING UP AFTER HIMSELF?!?!?! For the love of all that is good and holy if your going to piss on the seat and the toilet, take some farking toilet paper and wipe it up. If you’re not going to do that, at least use the same toilet so that those of us that have to shite can use the other stalls. One day all four stalls were covered in urine drops! The cleaning crew only hits the bathrooms twice a day. Once around noon and again at night after everyone has left. Personally, I don’t want to walk around with turd fighting against my sphincter for 2-3 hours until the cleaning crew comes in and makes the toilets useable again. I also shouldn’t have to walk across the building looking at the busier bathrooms for an open stall.

The perpetrator is an evil vile person. They have to be doing this intentionally with malice in their heart. I think they are trying to mark the bathroom as their territory and discourage others from using it. I don’t know why, but they must be trying to keep people from laying the big stinky while at work. Let me just say that nothing, NOTHING is going to stop the shite spewing forth from me!