Miasmatic Review

It's amazing I'm married.

For dinner tonight we had left over Chinese food. Clone loves him some fried rice. The problem is that he loves it so much it gets everywhere. As anyone with children knows, you can’t just pick up rice off the floor. You need to vacuum it up. Of course, even though it’s messier, it is easier if the rice dries before you attempt to vacuum it. Ktreva just wanted to clean up the mess so she pulled out the vacuum and started cleaning.

Guys, this is why I don’t hire a housekeeper. Why pay for one, when the wife will do it on her own?

Anyway, she was vacuuming away when all of a sudden the power brush started making a funny nose and started to smell funny. Ktreva turns off the power to the brush, (but not the vacuum) and is looking at the brush. When I ask her what’s going on, she tells me she thinks there is something wrapped around the brush roller. It took me three times of telling her to turn off the vacuum before she actually listened and did it. I try to get it from her to check it out, and she insists she can fix it. She is telling me this as she is yanking on the some hair wrapped around the brush roller.

Finally I convince her to let me take a look at it. Not that it wasn’t amusing to watch her try to unroll hair from it one strand at a time, I just didn’t want her to hurt herself or the vacuum. I open up the power brush and remove the brush roller. There is a lot of long, fine; blonde hair wrapped around one of the ends where the bearings are. After looking at the brush, it appears that her hair had wrapped in between bearings and the attachment bracket. The friction had caused it to melt into a clumpy mess. I also noticed that the roller brush is not rotating like it should on the bearings. As I free it from the case the whole bearing assembly explodes sending tiny ball bearings all over the place. (Thankfully I was in my workshop).

I come upstairs and I say, “It’s broken, I can’t fix it.” Mostly I was talking to myself out loud. Ktreva hears me and yells from the living room, “Great, we have to buy a new vacuum.” To which I respond, “What? No, I can repair it.” She snipes back with, “You just said it was broken and you can’t fix it.” Me, “Well yea, the roller brush is broke, I can’t fix it. I can repair the vacuum. I’ll just need to order a new roller brush.” She comes back with, “If you can repair it, then you can fix it.” Me, “Yes, I can fix the vacuum, but the brush roller is FUBAR. I can’t do squat with it.” Her, “Then it can’t be fixed?” Me, “What? No! I can fix the vacuum; I’ll have to order a new roller brush to do it. Dammit woman, listen to me when I speak. The vacuum can be fixed; the roller brush is broken beyond my ability to fix it. It’s just a part. I can buy a replacement one. Damn women not knowing a thing about fixing stuff.”

I’m just hoping the swelling from where she hit me with a pan goes down before tomorrow.