Miasmatic Review

Fun With Food.

A couple having trouble in the bedroom seeks the help of a well-known sex counselor. During their initlal consultation, the professional tells the couple they need to undergo a routine physical, and after completion, she will be able to help.

The couple does as they are instructed, and they come back a week later.

"OK! After reviewing my physicians notes, we're ready to start." she says. "I see that you two are both in great health, and in your questionaire you both stated that you genuinely love each other. So let's start somewhere. What seems to be the problem?"

After uncomfortable glances at one another for a brief moment, the man's wife speaks up.

"Well, I'm still very attracted to him, that's not an issue. I guess we've run out of things to try," she says.

"Have you tried grapes and doughn.u.t.s?" the counselor asks.

"I beg your pardon?" the man replies.

"Grapes and doughn.u.t.s. Go to the store tonight, and buy both. When you get home, go to your bedroom, undress, and you sir get on the bed. Have your wife play ring toss with the doughn.u.t.s, and... well..."

"Um, ok?" he says.

"When she lands a ring toss on the pole, her prize is to eat the doughn.u.t off of... the pole," says the counselor.

"Ahh... I get it." says the man.

"What about the grapes?" asks the woman.

"After he's aroused from the game of ring-toss, trade places and get on the bed. Have him try to make a field goal by flicking a grape into... your..." the counselor stalls.

"OK, I get it, and his prize is to fetch the grape, right?" she asks.

"Yes, you've got it! Now go to the store, and get home!" commands the counselor.

That night, the couple did exactly what was stated. Each ring toss that she got, she ate the doughn.u.t off, and every time he scored a field goal, he would fetch the grape out with his tongue. The couple was so amazed by the results that they shared their success story with a couple of friends who were having bedroom trouble as well.

"Here's the number, give her a call. I guarantee you won't be sorry!" says the woman to her friend.

So the new couple goes to see the therapist, and again, after the initial visit and physical, the couple returns for their news.

The counselor is pacing back and forth in her office as they walk in.

"Sit down, sit please... I'm not sure how to..." the counselor blurts out. "I don't think I'll be able to help you."

"WHAT? NO WAY. You solved our friends problem, why can't you help us?" begs the man angrily.

"I just can't. This is very difficult for me to say..." she says.

"What is the problem doctor? Won't you at least try?" begs the man's wife.

"I don't know..." the couselor stalls.

"Please, you've got to understand, we've tried four or five doctors before you. We've got to have an answer to our problem!" says the man's wife.

After many seconds of stumbling over thoughts, and trying to find the right words, she finally speaks. "Well... OK... On your way home tonight, stop at the store. Buy some Cheerios, and some watermelons..."

As stolen from an e-mail sent to me by a friend.