January 03, 2007

You need a stomach of steel to drink it.

After the last two weeks cop-outs I decided I needed to go and get a beer to make all of my beer review fans happy. (Yes Dr. Phat Tony, I know you wanted a pilsner. Iíve been searching for one at the local stores with no luck) While shopping in the store I found a can of Steel Reserve 211 High Gravity Lager by the Steel Brewing Company. It was only $.99 and I had never seen it before. I figured this beer would be a good one to do a review on for all of you. Remember, I put my gastric tract in harms way so that you donít have to.

steel reserve.jpg

It came in a 24 ounce silver can. On the front it has the name in black on a white back ground along with many other things. It advertises that it is 8.1% alcohol by volume. This can is so busy itís hard to describe. It has information all over it telling about the beer and the meaning of the name. Realistically, if someone was going to honestly buy this beer for anything other then to either try it or play a prank on someone else, they are not going to read that much on the label.

The color is a golden amber color. Itís clear, with no sign of cloudiness or distortion. To be honest it looks like urine. You can see light and images through it easily. It pours a thick one-inch white head that quickly disappears. There is no lacing and it barely has a film on it.

The stink of this beer reminds me of some friends from college apartment, a strong scent of stale beer and rot. Not as much the rot as the stale beer. You can smell some malts, but not a hint of hops. There is also a hint of rancidness to it. Unfortunately the smell was setting up the taste. I could taste stale malts and alcohol. At 8.1% Alcohol by Volume, that doesnít surprise me. There was a hint of sweetness to it, but the alcohol overpowered it. For the love of all that is good and holy, do not let this beer get warm. Once it gets warm, itís probably one of the vilest things you can drink.

It is a light bodied beer. There is a very thin feel in the mouth, not that you want it to linger there to long. There is too much carbonation. It bites the tongue and causes you to continuously burp, which makes you taste it again.

Iím not sure at what point my brain decided it hated me, but the fact it let me buy this beer pretty much tells me it does. Lets look at the signs; 24 ounces of beer for under a buck, itís a high gravity lager, 8.1% alcohol by volume and finally the fact that it was 24 ounces of beer for under a dollar! It was absolutely horrible I give it a 2 out of 10.

Posted by Contagion in Alcohol at January 3, 2007 06:31 PM | TrackBack

Boy, you are generous with your lower ratings. You should call Steel Brewing and ask them for reimbursment over the pain, anguish, and downright terror that is Steel Reserve.

Posted by: Petey at January 3, 2007 11:04 PM

Sounds like a bad experience I had with a bottle of Mickey's Big Mouth in college. Skunky didn't even begin to describe it.

Thanks for taking one for the team!

Posted by: Raging Mom at January 4, 2007 03:00 PM

Maybe find a pils that's more than $.99 and you'll find a little bit of quality. Just saying.

Especially since pils is Bohemian (Czech republic and parts of a few surrounding countries).

Posted by: Dr. Phat Tony at January 4, 2007 04:14 PM

You are a brave man.
Have you tried Stella Artois? It's better on tap but the bottled is pretty good as well.
I'd like to see the official "C" rating.

Posted by: spurs at January 4, 2007 06:20 PM

Bleh... I think I'll skip this one. :(

Posted by: Richmond at January 4, 2007 08:56 PM

Ouch. Reminds me of those scrubbing bubbles commercials- "We drink the swill so you don't have tooooooooooooo!!"

Seriously, I'm not a huge beer drinker- and when i do drink, it's lame crap like Rolling Rock. I can about handle a pint of pond scum-er, guinness a couple times a year (actually, i like guinness, it's like drinking a loaf of rye bread) (A loaf of rye bread with a HAMMER TO HIT MY HEAD FROM THE INSIDE) and I always end up regretting it.

But I'm sure glad I didn't have to sample THIS swill. It's a tough gig, Contagion, and I'm glad you got it handled.

I wonder of those cans are steel?

Posted by: og at January 5, 2007 01:16 PM