March 13, 2007

How to keep your neighbors in fear.

When your oldest son is in the back yard shooting his softair guns, make sure you yell loudly and angrily at him, “God dammit, use a proper stance. There is no way you’re going to be able to shoot accurately if you can’t hold the firearm properly.”

Then follow that statement with, “Once you get better, I’m going to get you some human targets. That way you get accustomed to shooting at the human form.”

Yea, the neighbors didn’t come out to talk to me tonight either. They all just watched through windows.

Posted by Contagion in Stories about me. at March 13, 2007 05:37 PM | TrackBack

Haha, I would have laughed if I was your neighbor and then sent you over a couple of targets.

Posted by: Sissy at March 13, 2007 06:58 PM

Yeeah, if they weren't scared off by The Great Pumpkin Massacre in the front yard, or by the sight of you running around the perimeter of your house with a friggin' battle axe, this should do it. Good on ya, dude! :^)

Posted by: Wes at March 13, 2007 08:13 PM

Heh. That actually make me miss my former neighbor Dave... I *liked* having him next door - he made me feel very safe.

Posted by: Richmond at March 15, 2007 12:20 PM