April 09, 2007


For Easter most parents that observe the holiday, and even some that donít, abort chicken embryos by boiling them in water hard boil eggs. Then they dip the hardened remains into cups of dye. If you have a four year-old you also get to wipe spilled dye up off the floor and table a couple of times. When you are done you have a carton or twelve of multi-colored hard-boiled eggs. Now this is where parents differ.

Some hide the eggs while the kids are sleeping so they can find them on Easter. After the lost egg incident of 2000, I donít do that anymore. Sure we, and I mean me, hid the egg in an easy to find spot. It was so easy to find that when Boopie was done looking for the eggs, I counted one short. We searched and searched and were not able to find it. Finally I figured that I had miscounted how many eggs I had hid. Since I didnít hide all the eggs, and one or two were eaten already, I figured that I just counted wrong. The egg finally showed up some months laterÖ in August. There was a vile stench in the house and I couldnít quite place it. I searched and I searched and I searched. Finally after looking long and hard enough I found it.

It was in plain sight under the air hockey tableÖ but some moron put a dark blue egg up against a dark blue background, and after months of cooking in a house without AC, the egg wanted out and let off a stench so that everyone could find it. I no longer hide Easter eggs.

This year I made the largest batch of Egg Salad that I ever made. Weíve been eating on it for two days for lunch and dinner. Hell I even had some for breakfast this morning. Thereís probably still more then half left. Already I do not like the gaseous emanations that are wafting off of me. Yet, I just canít throw it out.

Maybe if I us beer to wash it down it wonít stink so badly when I blow arse.

Posted by Contagion in Stories about me. at April 9, 2007 06:06 PM | TrackBack

Yes. Beer will definitely work.

Old Milwaukee would probably do the best job.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at April 9, 2007 07:47 PM

I'm thinking some ranch flavored corn nuts would help digestion too...

Posted by: Graumagus at April 10, 2007 01:21 AM

But can you wait til I go on my next trip? Please?!?!?

I'm just afraid that the change in air quality might be too much for me.

Gagh! Egg Salad, Old Mil and ranch flavored corn chips? I got pains just reading that!!!!

Posted by: Tammi at April 10, 2007 05:05 AM

T1G, to be honest I think Milwaukees Best would be the better to help.

Grau, Ranch flavored Corn nuts only kill my breath and keeps my wife from kissing me.

Tammie: You aren't on a trip now? Jeez, I thought you moved into the airport.

Posted by: Contagion at April 10, 2007 06:20 AM

Heh - we didn't even dye eggs this year. I was feeling kinda bad about it until now.... ;-)

Posted by: Richmond at April 10, 2007 09:11 AM

Some how I forgot the eggs... phew.

Posted by: vw bug at April 11, 2007 06:01 PM