Miasmatic Review

I'm afraid he'll never learn.

Well it looks like Boopie is up to old tricks. It was discovered through deductive reasoning and his inability to tell a lie. Well he can lie, but he’s really, really bad at it. Apparently he’s just been getting up in the morning, watching TV and not making his lunch or anything. He’s been borrowing money from a friend with promises to pay it back and buying a lunch. Then he comes harassing me about his allowance, which won’t cover how much he’s borrowed. He gets his financial sense from his biological father.

It started with me noticing that the items I bought for him to take for lunch were not being used. I knew he probably wasn’t eating, but I wanted to get his side of the story before I confronted him. And this is what happened:

Me: What did you have for lunch today?

Boopie: A Sandwich and some chips.

Me: Really? What did you make the sandwich out of?

Boopie: We’re out of bread aren’t we?

Me: You tell me. What did you make a sandwich with.

Boopie: My friend A-boy gave me a couple pieces of bread to make a sandwich with.

Me: Really? He gave you the meat and cheese too?

Boopie: No, I brought some of ours.

Me: Boopie, that has to be the worst lie I’ve heard you tell.

Boopie: …

Me: We aren’t out of bread, we have a brand new loaf. When I made my sandwich this morning I used the last of the old loaf, I can see you didn’t open the new one. I can also see that you haven’t been eating the lunchmeat or cheese.

The conversation went on from there, but he told three more obvious lies, got grounded, and is now sulking in his room. I also told him that it’s time for him to start taking responsibility for his actions. The next time I catch him not making a lunch, eating or telling a lie; I’m going to make sure the consequences match his actions.

If only he could tell a half way believable lie.