Miasmatic Review

Week 2 hijinks.

Yesterday Tammi invited the family down to watch football with her and her Sunday Ticket. She even was going to cook stuff I could eat. How could I turn that down? The only thing that would have made it better is if we could have talked the ladies into wearing cheerleader outfits and serving us male folks, but hey I know that will NEVER happen. Unfortunately this was the first time Tammi, Harvey and TNT got to see me in football mode. Ktreva and the boys have seent his many times in the past.

There I am in her house in a nice quiet small community. Her windows were open so that the cool September air could keep us cool. She has a nice spread set out and there I sat on the Golden Throne with remote in hand. A glass of Glenmorangie 10 year in my other hand and I’m talking in a normal and respectable manner (for me). Then it happens, a play, a big play. A play that involves either my team or a player I have on a fantasy team, and any ounce of respectability dies and my voice carries across the valley.

Such terms as:

“Run! Run you magnificent black man you!”

“For the love of Pete, just let Colston get a touchdown!”

“F@#$ Toomer!”

“Give the ball to Colston already!”

“Run faster, run like you stole it!”

“DAMMIT! That’s not Colston!”

“F@#$ Brees!”

“Eli, Archie doesn’t love you anymore. Peyton gets all of daddy’s love.”

“Is Colston even playing?!?!”

There were many more, but I just wanted to give you a sample. The best part was that since the windows were open my voice had to have carried out of the house and Tammi’s poor neighbors had to have heard most of them. I think I just took her fine respectable reputation down a couple of notches.

The sadest thing is that I was holding back.