Miasmatic Review

BlogCrawl and Football Survivor.

Okay, I am alive. Although I’m not sure that my body wouldn’t want it to be the other way. Where to start, well probably where I left off Sunday night after finishing DAS BOOT! I sat around for a couple of hours, as the beach ball of beer sitting in my gut was kind of hard to move around. Folks seriously it’s fun to do, but I’m never, ever drinking that much beer that fast again. It’s just not good.

Saturday Grau, Ktreva and I headed down to the range to do some shooting. Harvey caught up with us about a half an hour after we arrived. The place was packed. They had a pig roast and a lot of people were out there shooting. There was even a guy with a 30-caliber machine gun. Grau and I were the loudest shooters at the range with the Russian M44s we brought until some guy showed up with a .50 cal BMG. We couldn’t compete with that kind of noise. Those M44s are a nice firearm. Accurate, durable and with the proper ammunition you don’t get bolt jam. I really loved shooting it. Although I think that putting 100 rounds down the barrel of it by myself in less then 3 hours may not have been a good idea. My shoulder is still bruised and sore two days later.

After the range we headed to Fritz’s. On the way there we almost got into an accident because some guy in another vehicle was waving at me trying to tell me something. I thought he was trying to point out something wrong with the van. It turns out it was just a crazed Minnesota Viking fan who did not appreciate the Green Bay Packer license plate holder. I be he appreciates it even less after the Packers beat Minnesota.

Before we got to Fritz’s Grau and I dropped Ktreva off at Tammi’s so she could “freshen up”. Grau and I didn’t care, we walked in dirty and smelling of gunpowder… the way we like it. Shortly after Harvey arrived and then Tammie and Ktreva came walking in. I had started double-fisting it as soon as I walked in. Jack Daniel’s in one hand and a beer in the other. This didn’t seem to surprise anyone as the showed up.

Shadoglare and Bruce joined us around 4:00PM and then we all started drinking the night away. Harvey had cigars and shared with everyone. Everybody had their chance to tell stories or just make jokes. I know I was complaining I wasn’t get drunk fast enough, and shortly after that things got a little fuzzy. But what I do recall is this:

The girls were taking their shirts off.
Tammi wants to date a midget.
Bruce wants Tammi to date a midget.
Tammi likes it deeper.
Apparently no one recognizes me over the phone.
The shocking realization of how cheap it is to eat/drink at Fritz’s.
Saving a seat with a beer mug on it for That One Guy who refused to join us. (BASTARD!)

On the way home I know I was in form because I started singing, and demanding a chili cheese burrito from Taco Bell. When I got home I drank another half bottle of Jack Daniel’s while making comments and I remember thinking, drunken blogging can be difficult, it’s almost like work. I also discovered that Grau and Harvey need to clean the blogroll. Some of the blogs on there are blank or haven’t been posted on in over a year. Milk carton kids I tell ya.

Sunday Morning Clone gets me up nice and early, which is good because Grau passed out on our couch from his inability to drive himself home. In fact I’m not sure he was fit to drive Sunday morning when he left, but I was a good friend and just let him leave anyway. Bruce calls me and says he’s coming to get me so we can go watch football. Okay, I never puked once, but I was feeling rough. Hell, I got drunk Thursday, Friday and Saturday. The thought of drinking anything other than water was not appealing, but it’s football. So we head out, grab some beer and want back to Bruce’s place to meet up with Shadoglare and our friend Scroatie so we can carpool to the football party. Where it was discovered that by my drinking a bottle of water it reactivated alcohol in my system and I was technically still drunk from the night before.

At this point I would like to point out that yes I’ve been drinking beer… no I’m not supposed to. But it was my birthday dammit and I’m celebrating it the way I wanted to. I’m back to no beer today.

At first Bruce and I thought the two cases of Miller Lite, Six-pack of Blue Moon pumpkin ale, six-pack of Berghoff and six-pack of Fat Tire would be sufficient. When we ran out of Miller Lite sometime in the third quarter we knew we were in trouble. In fact someone showing up late to the party made a beer run. I will admit that by half time the day gets a little fuzzy, but I do remember some things. Like:

Bruce sitting in the gayest chair I’ve ever seen in my life… and it’s his.
Being hit in the eye with a penalty flag, and not letting myself get pissed about it.
Coercing Bruce and the host into a beer-drinking contest based on their favorite teams performance.
The cops showing up because the host was out driving a go-cart around the neighborhood.
Raptor girl setting the chicken wings on fire.

It was a good day. I’m really not sure how I got home, in fact I’m not sure when I got home.

Now today I’m recovering. The thought of having any more alcohol in my system actually makes me physically nauseous. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a doctor’s appointment I need to go to.