October 16, 2007

Contagion2, Neighbors 0

We all know how much I love my neighbors. For those of you that donít remember or just didnít know, I like to keep my neighbors in a healthy level of fear of me. Not that I think Iím big and tough or that Iíd actually do something. I just want them to think Iím a wack job so they leave me the fark alone.

Unfortunately many of my neighbors are new, the old ones have moved out. (I donít know why.) So that means I have to restart operation ďLeave the Burly man aloneĒ. Last month after I bought my Russian Mosin Nagant M44 I couldnít just bring it into the house in the box. Nope, I took it out of the box, affixed the bayonet, slung it over my shoulder and carried it in. On the walk from the truck to the house the new neighbor to the left came walking around the corner of her house and I heard an audible gasp and an exclamation of ďOh my!Ē The white trash across the street were all sitting in the front yard smoking stopped talking and very quietly watched me walk into the house. Shortly there after they all abandoned the front of the house and went inside.

Today I needed to clean my .75 caliber Brown Bess musket. After shooting last weekend, I really wanted to make sure it was nice and clean. I grab all of my stuff and go into the front yard. The trash across the street watch me uncase this monstrosity and start cleaning it. After a couple of minutes they have all disbursed. Some went inside and other just left. The neighbors around me kept peaking out their windows to see what I was doing. A couple of them were walking down the street actually crossed to the other side instead of walking down the sidewalk in front of my house. I was there for 30 minutes just waiting for the cops to show up.

Now, tonight, itís nice and quiet outside. Nobody hanging around making noise or just being obnoxious. Ahhh.. the freedom of having neighbors afraid of you.

Posted by Contagion in General assholery at October 16, 2007 06:51 PM | TrackBack

What, you can't just bury oil drums in the backyard in the dead of night like the rest of us?

Posted by: Roses at October 16, 2007 07:59 PM

My neighbors just love me coming home from a shoot, I unload the gun cart with two rifles and the double barreled shotgun, then I hang my gunbelt over one corner, with both revolvers in their holsters, I hang the spare gunbelt with the emergency back up revolver in one holster, then I grunt it all up the front steps.

There were four houses on my side of my street. As of now there is only ours occupied, two abandonded and one for sale. The shootin' irons work almost as well as going to get the paper in my underwear.

Posted by: Peter at October 16, 2007 08:26 PM

If I lived in town, I would do the same as you. But I don't, so I just walk out the back door far enough to get the door closed and start shooting. The closest neighbor is 1/4 mile away, they like guns, and I like them. They are good people.

Nuttin' lik bein a country bumpkin.

Posted by: Petey at October 16, 2007 09:46 PM

Heh. And see, I had a neighbor like you. I brought him taco dip and he *still* likes me....

Posted by: Richmond at October 17, 2007 04:51 PM

What is this thing you call "neighbors" ?

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