June 24, 2008

Eating silage.

Okay, in an effort to help my gastro problems and just to be healthier Iíve started eating ďHealthierĒ breakfast cereal. Iíve tried four different kinds so far and Iím about to give up on it, especially this last one. Let me give you a run down on what Iíve experienced so far.

A) Kashi Go Lean Crunch: Interesting flavor, I wouldnít say itís bad, but Iím not sure Iíd say I like it either. There is a very interesting texture to it. It gave me gas.

2) Kashi Go Lean Crunch with Honey Almond Flax: Again interesting flavor, I think this one tasted better than the regular, Iím still not sure I like it. The texture was interesting. It gave me gas.

D) Life: Okay, this one may not be considered a ďHealthyĒ cereal, but it had the green sensible solution box on it and comparing it to ďhealthyĒ cereals it matched up pretty good. I liked the flavor, I liked the texture. My family liked the break from the gas.

4) Grape Nuts: How this cereal stays on the market is beyond me. Seriously the smell kind of reminds me of silage. The flavor reminds me of the remnants of the mash they use to make beer. It doesnít taste like beer, it tastes like fermented grains that were boiled, dried and served with milk. I kid you not I think Iíd rather eat the box. I put four packets of sweetener into my cereal container just to choke it down this morning. Now Iím sitting here feeling like there is a lump of soggy cardboard in my stomach. Except the soggy cardboard would probably have tasted better. To make matters worse not only did it give me gas, but it gave me unspeakably foul gas. I emptied a conference room with a tiny squeeker. Fortunately the cheek flapping, sphincter hurting colon bomb I let loose in the bathroom. When I regained consciousness and picked myself off of the floor, I helped the other victims evacuate the restroom.

I just want to know, is there a decent healthy cereal that A) Tastes good and most importantly 2) Doesnít give me gas.

Posted by Contagion in Stories about me. at June 24, 2008 05:58 AM | TrackBack

Grape nuts does not smell like silage. At least it never did to me, and I have literally judged silage in competition before. I don't mind the flavor of it, but it does have a slight resemblance to mash. The best way to eat Grape Nuts is with some fruit in the bowl-usually enough to have a piece of fruit with each spoonful of micro-mountain oysters. When I eat them, it is with a banana, but you could use any fruit, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, kiwi maybe. Possibly even melon.

The reason for the gas is most cereals like those you have mentioned are LOOOAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDD with fiber, and when you mix that much fiber with someone as full of s*^t as you, BAM!!!!, mustard gas. Try beano. A bottle with each bowl.***

***This advice is based on absolutely no medical training. I am not responsible for huge explosions in the sub-cockles of you system.***

Posted by: Petey at June 24, 2008 07:54 AM

Even Wil likes this one, General Mills Oatmeal Crisp. If you must eat cereal this one is healthy & tastes good at the same time.

Posted by: red at June 24, 2008 08:16 AM

Petey: I will caveat my identifying the smell of grapenuts as silage. I'm a city boy, even though I spent a summer working on a farm as a kid, I rarely had an exposure to silage. I do smell it about once or twice a year when I visit a farm. But to me, the scent is very reminiscent of what my memory of silage smells like. As for eating it with fruit. Well I don't like fruit and I'm sorry there is nothing you can add to Grape Nuts to make it taste edible. You may be diluting the taste, but it's still going to be bad.

Red: Once I finish my box of silage I'll have to see if I can find that one and try it.

Posted by: Contagion at June 24, 2008 08:21 AM

Try Total. :) And good luck with the gas....

Posted by: Richmond at June 24, 2008 08:30 AM

Honey Bunches of Oats are great. Also, Quaker Toasted Oatmeal is pretty yummy AND good for you.

Posted by: Omnibus Driver at June 24, 2008 10:03 AM

Raisin Bran or Mini Wheats, Brown Sugar flavor.

Both Yummy!

Adding raisins, fruit or dried fruit to any flake cereal would greatly improve the flavor.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at June 24, 2008 10:41 AM

I'm also a fun of the honey bunches...

Posted by: Shadoglare at June 24, 2008 12:23 PM

Omnibus Driver: I'll have to add those tot he suggestion list to try.

QW: Isn't the mini wheats with brown sugar packed full of sugar?

Posted by: Contagion at June 24, 2008 12:23 PM

Actually it's Cinnamon streusel in the mini wheats.

180 calories / 10 from fat
1g total fat
0 cholesterol/sodium
44g carbs (5 fiber/12 sugar/27 other)

per serving, 24 biscuits equals 1 serving

Posted by: Quality Weenie at June 24, 2008 04:31 PM

I eat AllBran and add either raisins or dried cranberries. raisins give me gas.

Posted by: vw bug at June 25, 2008 05:01 AM

What is this fixation people have on eating cereal for breakfast... I hate cereal (guess that's why I don't "get it"). How about eating leftovers from a healthy dinner the night before? I often do that instead of breakfast food. At least when I remember to eat in the morning - most times I forget... LOL.

Posted by: Teresa at June 25, 2008 11:45 AM