August 05, 2008

Now that's embarassing

Have you ever eaten something that at the time was really good and tasted great, but turned on you? Like two hours later when you're in a meeting and all of a sudden you can feel a rapid expansion of you colon. Like a pump was hooked up to your backside filling up your intestines. You sit there sure that if you moved you are going to empty your entire digestive tract into your pants. Yet the pain and discomfort keep growing exponentially with each agonizing second.

After a quick deliberation you decide that it's better to risk the movement to the bathroom to empty thine self in an attempt not to unload in your trousers than to wait and do it anyway. So you excuse yourself and start your slow deliberate walk to the bathroom when all of a sudden a loud, reverberating, thundering sound that lasts for about 2 minutes emits from you.

Everyone in the room turns and looks and all you can say is, "Excuse me, I really shouldn't have had that bean and chili burrito on a whole wheat tortilla on lunch." People are gagging and wiping tears from their eyes. The whole time you're thinking to yourself... Thank god it was only a fart.

I was so embarrassed for that lady.

Posted by Contagion in Bullshite at August 5, 2008 07:34 PM | TrackBack