August 26, 2009

Venting time

Okay, the reason behind my hiatus is that I'm having a lot of health issues that have accumulated into me having to have surgery on Monday. To prep myself for the surgery on my digestive tract, I am on an all liquid diet. Basically all I can "eat" is: Protein shakes, water, tea, skim milk, tomato juice, jello, broth, kool aid and that about sums it up. No carbonation whatsoever! I'm also supposed to limit my alcohol, to basically none.

I've been on this since last Friday. Let me tell you something, This really farooking sucks! Let me tell you why.

A) I'm tired of drinking my meals. I mean, seriously, my teeth are aching to bite into something. Seriously, when they first told me I'd have to live like this for 1-2 months, I thought it wouldn't be that hard. Well, I'm about at the point of killing someone because of it. This is going to be hell.

2) I've never been a huge fan of sweets. I've never really gone goo goo for candy, sweets, deserts, etc. All the damn protein shakes I have to drink all come in only a handful of flavors Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry or some variation of those. I haven't found anything else. I would kill for a BBQ or cheeseburger protein shake right now. Before someone suggests I make my own, it's not an option. I have to stick to the pre-made or powdered mixes. Nothing additional. Oh, by the way for those of you that are drinking these things for what ever weight loss diet you might be doing, The Slim Fast Optima Cappuccino Delight is anything but a Delight. Seriously, I about spit it out on one of my employees after taking a drink

D) Everywhere I turn people are eating real food! I'm constantly hungry and even foods I hate are smelling good. Thus I'm starting to get real grouchy. I got mad at Ktreva last night because she was eating a Pork chop in front of me. I hate pork chops. Hell, they where even giving away free sandwiches from Jimmy John's at work today. I'm trying really hard to deal with it, but it's getting really, really hard to control myself.

I don't dare cheat, if I do it could cause complications during the surgery. After the surgery it could cause complications that could lead to death. I just need to buck down and follow the doctor's orders.

Because of all of this, I really am getting grouchy. I'm farooking sick and tired of people pointing out to me that I'm grouchy or asking me what's wrong or why I'm not talking. I'm trying not to take it out on the people around me, but when they continue to ask and/or point out that I'm grouchy, it's not helping. I know I'm grouchy, quit pointing it out. If you where in my place, you would be too. If you say you wouldn't, you are lying to me and yourself.

Today has been the worst of it so far. I'm hungry, what I can "eat", ie drink is stuff I don't want. So I'm just sitting back and trying to deal with everything.

It's going to be a long two months.

Posted by Contagion in Stories about me. at August 26, 2009 07:09 PM | TrackBack

I respect you for doing this- I can only imagine how hard it is...

Posted by: Rave at August 27, 2009 05:32 PM

{{{Hugs}}} NTTATWWT

Our prayers are going your way. You can get through this even if the word "pouch" comes up in discussion with your doctor.

My BIL went through intestinal cancer surgery a couple years ago and it was not fun, but he is now just as much of a PITA as he was before ... going to Tea Parties and everything. The worst part was the no drinking (anything) for a couple days after surgery, just the awful sponge on a stick to moisten his mouth. But he got through it.

I had to drink that same crap after my elbow surgery (several decades ago) and my daughter did too when they were trying to sort out her endometriosis/gall bladder/slow stomach/acid reflux issues. None of us like it and can't understand how astronauts can handle that "low residue" crap. Said daughter may be looking at having a surgeon wrap her esophagus around the top of her stomach to fix the acid reflux (maybe).

Enough crap out of me. Did they tell you whether you could drink as much (yellow) Gatorade as you want? For me it offsets the too sweet taste of the crap in the low residue cans.

Speaking of flavors, don't forget malt.

Posted by: The Thomas at August 27, 2009 08:15 PM

Two months puts you at the beginning of November and only three weeks before Thanksgiving.

Make it a goal not a gaol. You will have something to look forward to at the end. Plus you will have time to get used to eating again before Thanksgiving.

Posted by: The Thomas at August 27, 2009 08:19 PM

Have you tried Unjury? Its a protein drink my husband used before his gastric bypass and it was better than most. And I think they have a chicken soup flavor. Hope this helps.

Posted by: Kit at August 28, 2009 06:52 AM

Slim-Fast doesn't have a bacon flavor?

Posted by: Harvey at August 28, 2009 06:08 PM

Having fought this battle myself (but thankfully not for the same reasons) I can tell you, the worst is yet to come.

On the third hand? you will be better on the other side.

I did a couple things to help me keep my sanity (which, as you can see, didn't work as well as one might have hoped)

I froze almost everything, at one time or another. It gave me something to munch, at least. And that included beef broth and chicken broth.

I have had the experience of not only dumping but horking up stuff I hadn't eaten in years, or ever, including, apparently, circus peanuts and brake pads.

You are always in my prayers anyway.

At some time they will let you start on things like cottage cheese, and you will jump for joy, until you grow to hate cottage cheese with the unbridled fury of ten thousand suns.

Hoping for wonderful outcomes.

Posted by: og at August 29, 2009 01:20 PM