Miasmatic Review

He just can't like it.

When I cook, I have two distinct styles. The first is where I make everything from scratch. Maybe I’ll cheat and buy bread, but I tend to start with the basics and make everything I need. This style tends to produce the best tasting and most satisfying meals. The problem is that it is very time consuming, I’m talking 3+ hours of preparation each meal. On special occasions I’ve been known to cook for 7 hours.

The other way I cook is the quick and easy method. The food is edible, and usually only takes about 5-15 minutes prep time, with maybe an additional 30 minutes cooking time. During the week, this is the type of cooking I’m known to do. Sometimes we are pressed for time and we cheat even further and get boxed meals. Yes, you can all gasp in horror now. This is rare, and for good reasons. The meals usually taste like crap and have no nutritional value.

Tonight was planned a box meal, Tuna Helper Tuna Melt to be exact. Clone was watching on as I prepared the meal. At first he was fascinated at the mixing of water, milk, butter and noodles. Asking questions and making observations, it was fun father and son time. When I added the powdered sauce, a look of horror crossed his face. He asked me, “What’s that, dada?”

I responded, “That’s the cheese sauce, buddy.”

Clone, “Dada, I can’t like it.”

Contagion, “You can’t like it?”

Clone, “No, I can’t like that.”

That went back and forth for a while. Then I added the tuna to the pot.

Clone, “What that?”

Contagion, “Tuna, it’s a fish.”

Clone, “Dada, I can’t like it.”

Contagion, “You’ve had tuna before, you liked it. Why don’t you like it this time?”

Clone, “It sucks.”

I kid you not, my son told me for the first time something sucks. After I finished laughing, I wrapped my burnt fingers. His response made me laugh so hard I accidentally touched the stove surface. I don’t know who taught him that, or where he picked it up, but it was rather amusing.

UPDATE: When I put a bowl full of the Tuna Helper in front of him, he started screaming, "I CAN'T WANT IT! I CAN'T WANT IT!" It's not, I don't want it... it just that he can't want it. There is nothing in the world that could make him want it I guess.