July 18, 2007

Garbage.

For the last couple of weeks some kind of animal had been getting into our trash, ripping the bags open and spreading garbage all over our yard and the alley. I was getting really annoyed and I didnít know what to do other then try to find a more secure way to deal with the garbage. That was until this morning.

Ktreva had left for work with Clone already leaving me home alone. I was packing my cooler for work when I looked up and saw two guys going down the alley pushing a grocery cart full of bags. I see one of them touching our garbage bags and I can see heís about to tear it open. Heís obviously looking for pop cans (we donít recycle), if he was looking for credit card info and personal stuff; we shred all of that. It pissed me off, I realized it was these assholes that where spreading trash all over the alley and my yard.

I yell out the back window loudly, ďIf you rip that bag open Iím going to fill you so full of lead youíll be able to use your dick as a pencil.Ē Yes, I stole a line from The Three Amigos. But I was angry and all I could think of. I never saw two homeless guys run down an alley pushing a cart so fast in my life.

The best part was that one of the new neighbors was outside when I yelled that out. For some reason they didnít want to make eye contact with me.

Posted by Contagion in General assholery at July 18, 2007 05:39 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Is anyone else out there thinking he should not have been so "quick" to get rid of that squirrel carcass?? think......BOOBY TRAP....

Posted by: Sarah at July 18, 2007 05:46 PM

Old trick we would use for raccoons, possums, squirrels and homeless vagrants.

Hot sauce.

Specifically Daves Insanity Sauce.

Pour about half a bottle per can all over the bag.

I gar-rontee after about twice they'll avoid your garbage like the plague, since it makes even your hands burn...

Posted by: BloodSpite at July 19, 2007 07:02 AM

As for the neighbor averting eye contact, maybe you should write him a nice note... in pencil?

Posted by: Roses at July 19, 2007 07:52 PM