Miasmatic Review: The good times are over.

August 17, 2007

The good times are over.

I just returned from the doctor's office following up on my condition that I have intentionally not posted about in almost a year. Yes, I'm still slowly dissolving from the inside out. Well, we have good news and we have bad news, and then we have the worse news.

We'll start with the good news. They have once again ruled out the funky growth as cancer. So after going back and forth between yes it is cancer and no it's not cancer... they have confirmed it is NOT cancer. So when they told me I had a malignant neoplasm last October, they were wrong. Now to defend them we'll go to the bad news.

They still have no frickin' clue as to what it is. No one does. They've sent the samples off and we are getting nowhere. Every doctor and specialist that has studied has give the same report, "Testing inconclusive". So they can rule out what it isn't, but can't confirm what it is. Since no one can figure it out, I'm going to cut them some slack for misdiagnoses.

Worse news: Folks, I know most of you are sitting already because you are at a desk reading this on a computer. However, if you aren't, you may want to have a seat now. Today they tell me the worse news they could have ever told me, and I'm not sure I can deal with it. I know that Ktreva and the boys will support me in this time, but I really don't want to burden them with my issues and my problems. My friends may or may not be supportive, it all depends on their moods.

The doctors have told me today that I MUST reduce my beer consumption. They have given me a grocery list of foods and beverages I am no longer allowed to eat or drink other than occasionally. It includes all things like fast food, junk food, pop, beer, etc. IT also has things like tomatoes and tomato based products listed. So all the food and beverages that I hold near and dear to my heart are no longer acceptable for me to eat or drink.

Of course I'll still do my weekly beer review, as I did talk to the doctor about it and he said a couple each week won't kill me, literally.

So there it is folks; I'm cutting beer from my life.

Well after this weekend of course, I have to drink those 5 growlers, and the left over six-packs. I mean, I can't just dump it down the drain now can I?

Posted by Contagion in Stories about me. at August 17, 2007 09:40 AM | TrackBack

Comments

Christ, no wonder the stock market is about to crash.

You should really think about going to a university hospital, they are more up to date with wierd diagnoises.

Cause really, they may think this isn't doing any harm but if they don't know what it is then how do they know what it is doing to other things like organs.

Have you tried googling your symptoms? You never know what might come up.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at August 17, 2007 10:09 AM

Sorry Dude. And you know....I'll support you by only serving stuff you can eat when y'all come over. I can do that much.....

Posted by: Tammi at August 17, 2007 10:23 AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Why, God, WHY!?!?!?!

Posted by: Graumagus at August 17, 2007 12:44 PM

I tell you what. Anytime you feel the need to imbibe, just let me know and I'll get hammered for you and tell you how it was.
Seriously, take care of yourself, I need to even the Fantasy score. I really tanked last year...

Posted by: spurs at August 17, 2007 12:52 PM

awww dude, that sucks.

Get a new doctor. One who can tell you what the hell is going on.

Posted by: caltechgirl at August 17, 2007 01:11 PM

Poor Ketrva. How is she going to deal with the Beer withdrawals??? And the kids... oh no... the kids... (just joking). I hope they find out what it is soon and you can figure out what you need to do to fix it.

Posted by: vw bug at August 17, 2007 01:27 PM

Wait, now, just hold on.

They never said you couldn't have alcohol, just that you had to bypass your stomach....

Anyone reading here know how to rig an IV?

Posted by: Graumagus at August 17, 2007 01:34 PM

All beverages??? Because I didn't see Jack Daniels on your list. Maybe there's hope after all?

Posted by: Raging Mom at August 17, 2007 01:55 PM

The beer market has just collapsed. Geeze don't these doctors understand how markets work?

Sorry to hear they're making you stop your beer. I take it they are working on an elimination diet or something similar. That's a bummer. But if it works - that would be excellent because you'd feel better.

Posted by: Teresa at August 17, 2007 02:25 PM

"When Beer Things Happen to Good People"
by Contagion

Posted by: Roses at August 17, 2007 07:53 PM

Ummm Fritz's

Posted by: Bruce at August 17, 2007 08:23 PM

Whoa...

Posted by: Bou at August 18, 2007 07:30 AM

Holy crap!
Did you clarify? I mean, does "reduce your beer consumption" mean you can still have a couple bottles a day, but you're no longer allowed to try to finish off half a keg in one sitting?
That sucks, dude - sounds like they're pulling anything that's a bit acidic, eh? Which of course is most food that tastes good :/

Posted by: Shadoglare at August 18, 2007 11:11 AM

Awwwwwwwww crap. That sucks. And what Tammi said - that goes for my house as well. You can still have shrimp bacon cheese crack, right?

Posted by: Richmond at August 18, 2007 06:49 PM

In the spirit of true friendship:

Well hell, thats not bad news. It's more beer for Grau and I!

With both you AND T1G out of the beer department, Grau and I can now effectively drain the country dry BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh errr I mean, damn dude, thats horrific. ;)

Posted by: BloodSpite at August 19, 2007 08:51 AM

The beer gods are crying . . .

Posted by: Oddybobo at August 20, 2007 07:33 AM

You sure you're not hatching and alien in there?

Posted by: Omnibus Driver at August 20, 2007 12:35 PM