March 05, 2008

Bud Light Chelada.

I was called out recently over my beer reviews. As many of you that have been around since the origin of the review, I started doing this to review beers so that you were forewarned. After a while I started reviewing more and more microbrews and I started finding some really good ones. Back in December a new beer was brought to my attention, and I quickly told everyone, ďI will never drink it.Ē T1G and Bruce have both heard me say this. I even came close to violating my rule that I would drink any beer bought for me. Fortunately the arsehole gentlemen that was going to purchase it for me changed his mind. Finally a couple of ďfriendsĒ told me I ďhadĒ to review this beer, they had been waiting for it. So here I am tonight reviewing the only beer Iíve ever, EVER condemned before tasting. Tonight Iím reviewing Bud Light Chelada, AKA Bud Light & Clamato juice (Clam and Tomato juice) by Anheuser-Busch. May the beer gods have mercy on my soul.

Bud Light Chelada.jpg
Sorry T1G, It was the first beer glass I grabbed.

IT came in 1 pint 8 fluid oz (22 ounce) silver can. It proudly advertises that it is Bud Light and Clamato (with salt and lime the perfect combination) Below that it shows a beer goblet with limes in the rim and Chelada across the front of it. On the side it has a box that has both Spanish and English writing in it. The English says, ďEnjoy the best of two worlds: a refreshing Bud Light and the unique flavor of Clamato. Drink a Red One, ready to go, or use your favorite ingredients to make it yours Ė wherever, whenever!Ē Ed note: Never

The color is like that of a dark pink grapefruit juice. There is a distinct red color to it. Itís thick; light passes through, but barely. It just looks thick. When Ktreva walked into the room she said it looked like chum. There is no head at all and no lacing on the glass. There is a film, but it isnít pleasant looking. Itís like floating bits of stuff have stuck to it.

The smell is mainly tomatoes, salt and only what can be described as wharf. You know, that scent you smell along piers that are in large bodies of water. There is a hint of lime and I think you might smell stale beer. Iím not sure if it was there or just my nose wishing it was. Unless you really like the scent of fish and bloody marys, donít smell this. The taste is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. In 20 years from now Iím going to wake up screaming while I have a nightmare remembering this review. First off, this does NOT taste like beer. Tomatoes, salt, clams with a slight stale beer backwash is what it tastes like. BTW, there are floaty bits in there. Not many, but there are someÖ and yes they are chewy. Fortunately they are few, far between and small.

Iíd love to tell you what the mouthfeel is like on this beer, but honestly I didnít want it in my mouth long enough to find out. I will tell you that for the brief milliseconds I had it in my mouth it reminded me of drinking tomato sauce and vomit.

Bud Light Chelada is proof that the gods of beer have a dark and mean sense of humor. This has to be the vilest and nastiest beer Iíve drank in my life. Itís not pleasant in any way or shape. It actually brought tears to my eyes at the thought of having to drink the whole 22 ounces and made me do the ďitís ickyĒ dance. Any of you with young kids knows what Iím talking about. Iím not joking when I warn you, for the love of all that is good and right in the world, DO NOT DRINK THIS BEER. I give it .5 out of 10. Yes, point five out of ten.

Now if youíll excuse me Iím going to go gargle with Everclear.

Posted by Contagion in Alcohol at March 5, 2008 06:21 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Heheheh... the first thing I thought when I say that pic was, "Hey! You ruined the glass!" Then I saw the note under it, and started laughing.

You didn't need to do this one, man. This can't count as a beer. Some bastard tricked you...

Posted by: That 1 Guy at March 5, 2008 06:56 PM

HA HA HA HA HA HA
Sorry, way to take one for the team. You know you could leave an open bottle outside as rodent repellant.

Posted by: Bruce at March 5, 2008 07:12 PM

Sadly, I saw this on the rack and my only thought was that it might be something my dad would like... the only way I've ever seen the man drink beer is mixed with tomato juice (and I've only seen that maybe 2 or 3 times... just not a drinker whatsoever). But I don't think I'd take the chance on actually buying the stuff even for him - just thought sounds amazingly nasty.
And no, I really don't think this counts as beer. :P

Posted by: Shadoglare at March 5, 2008 08:07 PM

Clamato is definitely not for everyone. However, if you like Bloody Marys, then you should at least give it a try. Like Bloody Marys, it is made with Clamato, and like Bloody Marys, you can add Tabasco, hot sauce, pepper, olives, olive juice, pickles, pickle juice - whatever - to make it just the way you like it.

It sounds as though you just don't like Clamato juice or Bloody Marys, and because it's made with Clamato, no, it does not taste like beer. So, it's not that it's a bad product, it's that it doesn't appeal to you, which is fine. Again, it's not for everyone.

It's actually been very successful in test markets, and has been rolled out nationally in the US this spring. It appeals mostly to Latino consumers, and many of them were already mixing beer and tomato juice or Clamato juice on their own. We've now just done the work for them. Additionally, Bloody Mary drinkers now have a convenient way to consume a Bloody Mary type of drink if they're looking for something a little lighter and more lively than a Bloody Mary and don't want the hassle of mixing something and pouring it into glasses. It's convenient!

So.....that's the rest of the story, folks. Keep drinking beer (and products made with beer).

Cheers-
Karen M.
Anheuser-Busch, Inc.
St. Louis, MO

Posted by: runnergal at March 6, 2008 07:45 AM

Thank you for the comment, this is the first time I've had someone from the brewery of the beer I've reviewed leave a comment.

Actually I don't mind a bloody mary, but this doesn't really taste like one. It's close, but not the same. My reviews are done for beer drinkers and most of the readers of my reviewers are looking for my opinion on a beer. As you can see from some of the previous comments, they don't consider this a beer. I do because it is made with Bud Light.

I'm sure there are people that like it. I'm not sure why, because drinking it really did ruin my appetite for the evening.

I will admit that I did try to add a bit of humor to my review, but I do stick by it. This really is not a good beer.

Posted by: Contagion at March 6, 2008 08:10 AM

A friend of ours is a bud distributer and she says there is all kinds of flavored bud beers.

She said she had samples and DH said a no way, but thank-you.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at March 6, 2008 09:19 AM

I don't think I would even allow it in my trash can!!!!!

Posted by: bx19 at March 6, 2008 12:17 PM

Arkansas is the only place I have ever encountered what they call "Red Beer".

It is loosely what you just described, but no clams.

It's just tomato juice, and beer.

I tried it. Once.

I finished the glass.

And proceeded to vomit my entire gastrointestinal system.

It's not beer. But it is a safe substitute for Waterboarding.

Posted by: BloodSpite at March 6, 2008 12:34 PM

Thank you for making me ill reading this after lunch. I can't believe you actually tried it. This stuff is so bad, I honestly almost sold all my Anheuser-Busch stock when I first saw it. If they're going to make something this bad, they should at least not call it "beer." Call it "Tomato-flavored wharf crap" or something like that.

Posted by: Ogre at March 6, 2008 01:28 PM

bx19: well I had to let it into my stomach.

Bloodspite: I about did the same thing.

Ogre: I'm surprised you didn't sell it anyway.

Posted by: Contagion at March 6, 2008 06:47 PM

My local package store doesn't even carry this stuff. I asked about it today (after seeing it here) because I was going to give it to a friend whose wife refuses to let him drink anything that isn't "natural" while in the house.

Posted by: Jabbah at March 6, 2008 09:10 PM

Dude... this stuff is anything but "natural" :P

Posted by: Shadoglare at March 6, 2008 09:53 PM

Oh my - you *are* brave. I wouldn't have even tried that... ; P

Posted by: Richmond at March 7, 2008 01:56 PM