September 01, 2009

Today's fun

Okay, I have to sleep sitting up, so I just decided to sleep in my big comfy recliner downstairs. I didn't sleep too well, thus I am sure I will be dozing on and off all day. I also had a new and interesting side effect last night.

They gave me anti-constipation medication just in case I don't have a bowel movement in 48 hours. I hadn't taken any, but at 4:30 this morning I the exact opposite problem of constipation. I woke up and felt gas moving through my colon. Then I blew arse. Okay, bowels are moving, that's a good sign. A couple seconds later I thought I was going to blow arse again, but instead it felt, uh... fuller. so I got up as fast as I could and made my way to the bathroom.

I had just made it to the toilet when the flood gates of hell opened up and I drained what seemed like a gallon of liquid sewage. It came out with enough force that I do believe that I was lifted off of the toilet by about an inch. I could have shite through a strainer and not hit the wire.

It's been a constant painful waddle to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so.

I think I'd prefer the constipation.

Posted by Contagion in Stories about me. at September 1, 2009 07:34 AM | TrackBack

I'm not sure what they put in your system for whatever you were having done, but that is the reaction by body has to barium. I had an upper GI series and that pretty much sums up that day after drinking nearly a gallon of that crap.

Posted by: Bou at September 1, 2009 07:42 PM

Wait until they start feeding you the stool softeners. 'What stool? I'm shitting gasoline!!"

Posted by: og at September 2, 2009 01:18 PM