Miasmatic Review

I'm not a hippie.

When I was in High school, I had longer hair. I wouldn’t call it long, but it was past the collar of my shirt, ala mullet style. When I went to college I let it get down to the middle of my back. During the summer after my freshmen year I had to get my hair cut for a job I took. The long hair was a safety hazard in welding cages…. Something about bursting into flames. So I had it cut, shaved the sides and went with a big fuzzy Mohawk. There is one picture still in existence of me with this hair cut. Some days when my wife is being particularly snarky she’ll pull it out to show people. That hair cut lasted for about six months, and when I was home, I’d leave the hair down, not fanned out. I got tired of dealing with it, so I cut it down and went with shorter, easier to style hair. I’ve had short hair ever since. Usually never longer than two inches in length.

Since the end of March, I’ve decided not to cut my hair. I’m going to let it grow. Let it grow long and luxurious, as only a guy who doesn’t care about his hair can. Those ladies out there that spend hundreds of dollars each month to make their hair “perfect” know exactly what I’m talking about. I do nothing with my hair and it has all the body and slight wave they wish they had. Right now, it’s too short to tell what it’s going to look like, but it’s long enough to be annoying. It’s about three inches long. Considering when I started letting it grow it was about a quarter inch long, not a bad growth rate.

Why am I growing it out? Well, this is why I told you the background of some of my goofier haircuts. I’m trying to grow out a mullet. But not just any kind of mullet, I’m growing a very specific style of mullet. I want a 1756’s height of fashion mullet. Yea, that’s right, my facial hair isn’t the only thing that get’s altered for my re-enacting lifestyle!

I’m a long ways to go before it gets long enough, probably about another three inches or so at least. Until then, it just looks like I’m rocking a 70’s pr0n star part. And that I have grey wings on the side of my head. The grey hair really stands out around my temples. There is grey hair in other places, but it’s thickest there. So for all of you “long haired hippies” I’ve made fun of over the years, the next time you see me remember. I’m not a long haired hippie; I’m a man of means from 1756!