Miasmatic Review

They aren't the same.

Over at Basil’s Blog, he has a post up about how he saved money when he was in the military by using the same brand of deodorant and razor as his wife at the time. I can’t say I’ve used either Secret deodorant or a Lady Bic disposable razor. Thanks to his post, he did bring back a painful memory for me.

When I first started growing facial hair I only had to shave about once a week before it was noticeable. I would just use my father’s electric razor and everything was okay. Occasionally I would use his razor and shaving cream to trim up around the side burns where the hair was the thickest. Even as time went on and I had to shave more often, I’d just use my father’s electric or manual razor. Not once did I think to ask to borrow my father’s shaving supplies, thus my parents had no idea that I had started shaving, until one painful weekend.

My parents went away for the weekend leaving me at home alone. Having decided that I needed to shave, I headed off to my parents bathroom. Much to my chagrin I discovered that my father had taken both his electric shaver and manual razor with him. I was looking kind of scruffy. Well to be honest I was as scruffy as a teenage high school boy can get. Looking in the mirror, I’m scruffier now and I shaved this morning. My facial hair seems to grow at an alarming rate.

Anyway, I felt for sure that my father had to have something for me to shave with hidden away in his bathroom, an emergency back up razor, some sample packs of a disposable or anything. Not one shaving item was found. In frustration I started going through my mother’s stuff looking for a razor. Still I was unable to find one. Then I ran across something she had bought to shave her legs, and epilady epilator. I see this and think to myself, “If it will remove the hair from legs, it will remove hair from my face.”

Well, I wasn’t far from wrong. It removed the hair… and the skin… and some underlying muscle. For those of you not familiar with what an epilady was at that time, it’s like a coil of metal that comes out from a handle. The coil rotates, yanking hair and anything else it grabs onto off of the body. When I found that, I didn’t realize that was how it worked.

After plugging in the hair removal device, I slide it down the side of my face like it was an electric razor. Every hair that it grabbed onto was yanked violently from my teenage face. Tears started forming in my eyes and tiny drops of blood started form on my cheek. Little squares of toilet paper were not going to cover this bloody mess. I grabbed a whole sheet of toilet paper and stuck it to my face, the blood instantly causing it to adhere in place. For three hours I walked around with a sheet of toilet paper soaked in my own blood stuck to my face. I was afraid if I peeled it off, I’d start bleeding again.

When my parents returned home, the injury was very noticeable. They found out I had started shaving when I told them the story. My mother, who didn’t laugh, proceeded to explain that was why she used it once and never again.

To this day I’m real hesitant to use any product designed for a female, I’m afraid of what it could do to me.