March 26, 2007


Iím a bit on the melancholy side this evening, and not even the thought of Grau cat-fisting brings a smile to my face. No, I did NOT type that wrong.

Have you ever had a dream that while not impossible, it would be really difficult for it to come true? But if it were to happen you would be a fool to pass it up. Like say, since you where 12 you set your heart on one day owning an original 1954 Oldsmobile F-88, one of the rarest cars on the planet. You talked about it, and dreamt about one day actually owning this vehicle. All your friends and family know this what you have been dreaming about.

Then it happens. The planets align just right and through a series of unlikely events not only does the opportunity to buy this car come up, but also you can actually afford itÖ barely. This is the chance that will probably never happen again. Your family knows about it and wants it to happen for you. As you contemplate the purchase of this vehicle you look at what itís actually going to cost you. Not just the immediate cost of the vehicle, but the maintenance, the storage and the non-financial costs. Purchasing this vehicle you discover will stress your relationship with your family and friends.

These burdens, both financial and emotional, will last at least for five years. After doing the math, youíre pretty sure you can handle the financial burdenÖ barely and if no new or unexpected costs come about, but youíre not sure about the emotional. You spend weeks or even months contemplating is it worth it. Will you finally be able to fulfill your dream? If you do fulfill your dream will you end up possibly bringing yourself to ruin? Passing on it, however, will disappoint a close family member greatly as they share a similar dream. Itís a weighty decision that one does not make lightly.

I was put into this situation a couple of weeks ago. Something I wanted, but thought I would never be able to get landed at my feet. I know that the chances of this happening again are pretty much nil. And after weighing the benefits and the consequences, I came to a decision.

Sometimes, dreams just arenít meant to come true.

And now I feel like a part of me has died. There is an emptiness in me that Iím not sure will ever be filled again. Sorry for being so morose, but itís what is on my mind.

Posted by Contagion in Stories about me. at March 26, 2007 05:53 PM | TrackBack

My Friend I feel your pain. As kids we have no clue on loss but as adults it cuts that much deeper.

Posted by: D at March 26, 2007 08:01 PM

You have no idea...

And yet life goes on and it is good. Trite as it sounds, this too shall pass and better things will come along. Maybe not this particular one - but you never know.

Life is a funny thing and everything happens for a reason. Each choice, each turn, each thing we can't do... I hope eventually you will be able to grab this one thing again. If not, I hope you find something equally as good.

But for a while, it can be... um... pretty bleak. Hang in there.

Posted by: Teresa at March 26, 2007 08:44 PM

Dang - I'm sorry...

::leaves beer and closes door quietly::

Posted by: Richmond at March 27, 2007 07:03 AM

Damn dude.
As a friend I applaud you for taking the road of responsibility.
As a football fan, I smack you upside the freakin' head.

Posted by: Graumagus at March 27, 2007 11:32 AM

Unfortunately this has nothing to do with what you're thinking Grau.

Posted by: Contagion at March 27, 2007 07:34 PM

Responsibility sucks....

Posted by: Wes at March 27, 2007 09:22 PM

Damn, then count me perplexed yet supportive...

Posted by: Graumagus at March 28, 2007 04:50 AM