April 23, 2007

Not in the mood.

Anyone that has read me for a while knows that Iím big into my re-enacting. Every year about this time, I start getting excited and giddy. Those of use in the circle refer to this as the ronde-flu; we just canít wait to get back out in our period clothes and canvas tents. Next weekend is my first event of the year. To be honest, I really could not care less.

I donít know whatís going on this year, but I just have the excitement and anticipation that I normally do. Part of me doesnít even want to go, thatís right I donít want to go.
Iím not even sure why I feel like this. Maybe itís because Iím not really in a good place mentally right now. Iím still having some hellacious health issues that are not getting better. Itís to the point that Iím beginning to look at my mortality. How long can I go with my stomach slowly digesting itself before it turns into something fatal?

Maybe itís because Iím having personal issues at home and at work. Itís really permeating my thoughts and activities. I just canít seem to get away from it. The thought of just ignoring it all and going off and pretending all is fine and playing Seamus MacPhail, Surly Scot and distiller is just not appealing. Hell, I havenít even updated the Spoon and Blade since August.

It could be that I feel like Iím obligated to head out and do this one. Bloggers might liken this to the feeling they get when they have nothing to post, but feel like they should. I know that since my heart isnít behind it, I know I wonít put on as good of a demonstration. Iíve strived so hard to be a premier presenter that it bothers me that I might be sub-par.

What ever it is, I just donít know. Iíve got some stuff to do before this weekend. Usually I do this with excitement. Now, Iím looking at it likes itís housework. I hate housework.

Posted by Contagion in Re-enacting life. at April 23, 2007 06:01 PM | TrackBack
Comments

You know there is always a football game on Sat......

Posted by: Bruce Wayne at April 23, 2007 07:25 PM

Poor baby

{{{{HUG}}}}

*leaves bottle of Jack*

Posted by: Quality Weenie at April 24, 2007 11:25 AM